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Beer farts.....


Farts are hilarious and a slippery Guinness fart in the shower is uber het.
This is getting ridiculous .

I love a pint of proper beer. Nothing nicer. But I’ve noticed over the last couple of years that it’s having a disturbing effect on my guts.

4 pints of Butty Bach and I can’t sleep for the squeaking and gurgling noise from my stomach and the resultant flatulence is enough to make my eyes water. It’s not much fun for Mrs Ancient either apparently .

What’s the answer? My Grandad swore bu charcoal biscuits but I like to think that medical technology has moved on from the 1970’s.

Any suggestions?
You think you're drinking "Real" ale when in fact the glop you are imbibing has immature barley/rye/wheat as a component. It gets into your stomach and begins fertilising all over again with the result your gut becomes like a brewery and all the expanding gasses have only two ways to go. Charcoal biscuits are good, but to avoid expense get the Spillers Shapes black dog biscuits. Oh. And never stand behind a group of real ale drinkers. They'll turn your Guinness green. :cool:
It’s not the farting that‘s the problem as you get older, you just learn to accept it.

The real challenge is discerning whether it is a fart or whether it’s a fart and you are gonna follow through with it.

Once you’ve mastered how to detect that situation, you can relax and enjoy your beer properly secure in the knowledge that you can keep out of trouble.
Real Ale is no problem but when i drink Weizen Bier all hell breaks out - literally. The only answer to the problem is ..... **** 'em!
Earplugs and a CPAP mask with the inlet well away from the stinking starfish. Works for me.


Living on my own I am free to let rip as and when, without let, hindrance or comment.

Design and build a pilot light to ‘flare off’ excess gas. Seems to work for the oil industry so what could go wrong?
Said the Emperor.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Fcuk it! Fart away old boy, you know you want to. Mrs Smeggers, aka The Leader of the Opposition, maintains that I have no shame and will let rip anywhere and anytime. She claims I have no shame, I just tell her that it's better than me shitting meself!


Book Reviewer
If I drink this


I don't need the fan unit to inflate this



Book Reviewer
if I eat/drink anything containing lactose without these


then this happens


if I'm lucky.

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