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Beer farts.....

This is getting ridiculous .

I love a pint of proper beer. Nothing nicer. But I’ve noticed over the last couple of years that it’s having a disturbing effect on my guts.

4 pints of Butty Bach and I can’t sleep for the squeaking and gurgling noise from my stomach and the resultant flatulence is enough to make my eyes water. It’s not much fun for Mrs Ancient either apparently .

What’s the answer? My Grandad swore bu charcoal biscuits but I like to think that medical technology has moved on from the 1970’s.

Any suggestions?
 
An S10 respirator and a divorce but don't give up the ale.
 
Design and build a pilot light to ‘flare off’ excess gas. Seems to work for the oil industry so what could go wrong?
 
I looked into that and it doesn’t fit. It’s only real ale that has this effect. It’s caused apparently by CO2 being given off by the still fermenting beer being accelerated by my body heat. What I’m looking for is some way to absorb the gas......
 
Dabbing powder on your nether regions
 
Dabbing powder on your nether regions

WTF? Shurley, in addition to the apparent odour, all that would do would be to create a visual signature (puff of 'smoke') every time you detonated.
 
WTF? Shurley, in addition to the apparent odour, all that would do would be to create a visual signature (puff of 'smoke') every time you detonated.
Early warning system
 
WTF? Shurley, in addition to the apparent odour, all that would do would be to create a visual signature (puff of 'smoke') every time you detonated.
Maybe he could add a purple cape for the full effect.
 

anglo

LE
Can’t be done I’m afraid. As with wine: I drink everything at the same speed as I drink beer. With disastrous results.
Wine, you say, if I drink wine I'll fight any frecker, trouble is, I lose, don't drink
wine any more, as that beer is not making you fight, carry on drinking it,

:) See that's logic.
 

Dr Death

War Hero
This is getting ridiculous .

I love a pint of proper beer. Nothing nicer. But I’ve noticed over the last couple of years that it’s having a disturbing effect on my guts.

4 pints of Butty Bach and I can’t sleep for the squeaking and gurgling noise from my stomach and the resultant flatulence is enough to make my eyes water. It’s not much fun for Mrs Ancient either apparently .

What’s the answer? My Grandad swore bu charcoal biscuits but I like to think that medical technology has moved on from the 1970’s.

Any suggestions?
I realise it National Coming Out Day but frankly did you want to admit anything to arrse?
Give drink up as it is not for you, train for the priesthood and go to Syria as a missionary.
Leave drinking to those that can handle and are not fragile snowdrops harden drinkers.
 

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