A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West. The young 'un took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his burning ambition to be a great shot and join the Legends ...... Could you give me some tips?' he asked. The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.' 'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' 'Sure will ' the young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie CLEAN OFF the piano player. 'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?' 'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it - thatll give you a smoother draw' 'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man. 'Sure as shit, it will,' said the old-timer. The young man whipped out a FOB Bowie knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink CLEAN OFF the piano player. 'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm really learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?' The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that can of axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.' The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. 'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.' 'But will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man. 'No,' said the old-timer, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 'but when Wyatt Earp over there gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.....'