Because 'Straya mate!

Lacking Moral Fibre

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
We’re staying in Coomera just south of Brisbane, whole place looks like it’s just been built in the last few years. Thousands of new homes and more going up. New roads, new supermarkets several brand new schools about to open. Took the train back from Nerang yesterday again the railway look very new clean and efficient. New Year’s Eve spent on the beach at paradise point, 25 minutes away, brilliant day. Went mountain biking along part of an old railway line up at Esk. Beautiful area, old frontier feel about it. Can’t really fault the place, prices seem more than at home, but fuel looks cheaper. Not looking forward to going home with the crumbling UK infrastructure and the continuing “the end is nigh” from the BBC.
 
Not looking forward to going home with the crumbling UK infrastructure and the continuing “the end is nigh” from the BBC.
The grass is always greener on the other side. From the U.S. I could be in Aus, NZ, if I wanted to. Places are what you make to be. Though, I recon I will end up in Aus. In my future short career.
 

Lacking Moral Fibre

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
The grass is always greener on the other side. From the U.S. I could be in Aus, NZ, if I wanted to. Places are what you make to be. Though, I recon I will end up in Aus. In my future short career.

I realise that, my parents had a house in Venice Florida until a few years ago and I thought that was a great place to live, but only if your wealthy retired well insured and not foreign.
 

Ando6562

Swinger
I came back to the lines to get a bunch of parcels that were meant to be delivered and what do you know, not here, I’ve been sitting in my accommodation for the last three days waiting for fucking Australia post.

Fuck Australia post.
 
I came back to the lines to get a bunch of parcels that were meant to be delivered and what do you know, not here, I’ve been sitting in my accommodation for the last three days waiting for ******* Australia post.

**** Australia post.
Mate, waiting for post anywhere is bad. I have had personal experience of the USPS, Aussie Post and the UK Royal Mail. When they work, they work but the USPS is the worst in my experience. Blame it on the chronic underfunding.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Mate, waiting for post anywhere is bad. I have had personal experience of the USPS, Aussie Post and the UK Royal Mail. When they work, they work but the USPS is the worst in my experience. Blame it on the chronic underfunding.
Then put more stamps on.
 
I came back to the lines to get a bunch of parcels that were meant to be delivered and what do you know, not here, I’ve been sitting in my accommodation for the last three days waiting for ******* Australia post.

**** Australia post.
Nah! Some bludger's nicked them.
 
Western Suburbs of Sydney (as in past Parramatta) here. Haven't had that many close calls with fires thank goodness. Closest one was back on Christmas Day 2006 when a fire was threatening to jump the major road next to the suburb I live in.
Fuckin' westie :)
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home.
I love it here.
September 13
Really heating up now.
It got to 31 today.
No problem though.
Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds !!
September 30
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.
Lots of palms and rocks.
No more mowing lawns for me!
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
It's Paradise !
October 10
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit.
Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.
October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed three days off work.
What a dumb thing to do..
Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!
October 20
- Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit.
I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25
- This wind is a bastard.
It feels like a giant fucking blow dryer.
And it's hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fucking Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining.
October 30
- The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the fucking air conditioner.
House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.
Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4
Finally got the fucking air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.
Stupid repairman.
Fucking thief.
November 8
- If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to fucking throttle him.
Fucking heat!
By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my fucking clothes are soaking fucking wet and I smell like baked cat.
Fucking place is the end of the Earth.
November 9
- Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
I thought my fucking arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my fucking arse.
Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
November 10
-- The Weather report might as well be a fucking recording..
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny, Hot and fucking sunny.
It never fucking changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 fucking months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Fuck!
November 15
- Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fucking place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fucking pool.
The only things that thrive in this fucking hell-hole are the fucking flies.
You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!
November 20
- Welcome to HELL!
It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I wanted to shove the fucking car up his fucking arse.
Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
Fucking Karratha!
What kind of sick, demented fucking idiot would want to live here!
December 1
- WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!
 
Last edited:
DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home.
I love it here.
September 13
Really heating up now.
It got to 31 today.
No problem though.
Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds !!
September 30
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.
Lots of palms and rocks.
No more mowing lawns for me!
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
It's Paradise !
October 10
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit.
Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.
October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed three days off work.
What a dumb thing to do..
Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!
October 20
- Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit.
I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25
- This wind is a bastard.
It feels like a giant ******* blow dryer.
And it's hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from ******* Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining.
October 30
- The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the ******* air conditioner.
House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.
Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4
Finally got the ******* air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.
Stupid repairman.
******* thief.
November 8
- If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to ******* throttle him.
******* heat!
By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my ******* clothes are soaking ******* wet and I smell like baked cat.
******* place is the end of the Earth.
November 9
- Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
I thought my ******* arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my ******* arse.
Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
****. ****. ****.
November 10
-- The Weather report might as well be a ******* recording..
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny, Hot and ******* sunny.
It never ******* changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 ******* months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
****!
November 15
- Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ******* place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the ******* pool.
The only things that thrive in this ******* hell-hole are the ******* flies.
You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!
November 20
- Welcome to HELL!
It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I wanted to shove the ******* car up his ******* arse.
Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
******* Karratha!
What kind of sick, demented ******* idiot would want to live here!
December 1
- WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
You are ******* kidding me!
'Doesn't it ever rain' - don't worry, there'll be a cyclone along shortly.
 
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