BBQ time Homemade scoff

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by wheelchairwarrier, Jun 8, 2007.

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  1. Mrs WW phoned this afternoon and announced that weather permitting we are having a BBQ this week end , could I get some stuff in . Now assuming that the Git that is her boss is coming I am going to refrain from tampering with the booze this time.
    But we have returned from Herr Lidil’s emporium with ingredients to make “special” home made burgers. Well they were going to be burgers but first attempt looked minging , so its now rissoles..
    Take a couple of eggs a and beat, have to hand some ruskolene golden breadcrumb,some flour and as the main ingredient……. Lidil’s Chira dog food chubb.
    Chill said dog food and slice , dust in flour then coat in beaten egg.coat with ruskolene working it in and then chill in fridge.
    The couple my niece and I have cooked so far have turned out well looking the part. Tasty too ! ( according to the dog ).
    Now Mrs WW is unaware of this , and hopefully will not partake due to her diet . But the omnivore of a git will .

    So do I ??

    I did wonder about a cat food pate……………………………….


    Other burnt offering will be available
  2. QUALITY!!!!!

    Make sure you let us know if the Git enjoys your hospitality.
  3. having a tommy tank in the mayo always works! How about fresh fruit kebabs with ex-lax chocolate dip to dunk them in?
  4. BB you are a wicked evil woman how much ex-lax should i use and do i have to mix it with real choc??

    You know i hate to waste real choc. It has so many other uses.
  5. Evil WW. Do it! :twisted:
  6. its Friday....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm got some dental floss spare!!!!!!!!
  7. Genius, effin' Genius.

    Please take a photo or two of the process, a few of the cooking and a few of the t**t eating them.

    Then, when he or the Frau changes jobs, present the pics as a leaving present! Framed of course!

  8. Mix your pish in with the salad dressing
  9. WW, my angel, at no stage whatsoever, oh no siree, drop the burgers on the grass and cook them. He might mistake it for speshul herbs and pepper.

    For a final gesture, which may take a day to do. Does your dawg have Bakers for his tucker? Don't even think about soaking it in boiling water for a while til its all congealed, mushing it up and making a carrot cake out of it, and presenting it to him. If you possibly need a recipe for the icing, I am sure Kriss Akabussi can help out.

    As ever, your obedient servant, not admitting to anything, or putting ideas in your head at all,

    Sluggy xxx
  10. can you not get some dried magic mushrooms and sprikle them on his salad....even funnier if he does a Keith Allen in Twin towns :D
  11. Ruskolene?
  12. Ruskolene a crumb dressing , I had a good suggestion as well Lidl haggis is almost same diamater, I may make some decoy haggis rissoles, and here's the tip I got with a dipping sauce such as sweet chilli or sweet & sour.

  13. Sadly dog food these days is made to human food standards.

    It may be made from recycled cow rectum and pig guts and taste a little pungent but it is prepared properly.

    For proper effect there is little to compare with the ICD. (Improvised Chilli Device)

    This takes a little preparation effort and needs deft cooking but my word, I promise you that the sight of one properly deployed on a deserving target is something to cherish.

    The key is to obtain some of the "Fred's Champion Nuke your Gob Total Insanity Chilli Sauce" type stuff. Place small amounts into suitable containers and put into freezer, overnight if possible: your aim is to produce small pellets of hard frozen chilli death.

    At last possible moment insert one or two into the depths of your burger/rissole/reconstitued road kill. Onto grill and cook. Sauce will melt but only permeate a small area.

    Obviously you need to market said burger as "having a bit of chilli in it" and the very best type of mug will then happily big it up in terms of his/her liking for chilli. Roll camera.

    The hardest part is keeping a straight face and looking all concerned at the proper moment.
  14. According to my mum, a little milk of magnesia in the coffee works a treat, takes a couple of hours to have the desired effect, but lasts for a full 24 hours my poor dad will testify.
  15. Why does it make you poo? some chocolate laxitive from Boots re-wrapped is also a good trick :wink: