Battery Lost Inside Me

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cannon fodder, Jan 16, 2011.

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  1. I wont tell the whole story, but I had my shower and I sat down on my chair only to feel something slip inside my hole. I remember I had left some AA batteries on my chair, and one of those must of been standing upwards! Honest, this is how it happened!

    Anyway, any advice how to get it out? My partner has tried a few times with tweezers and combo tools with no luck.
  2. Laxatives. Have fun :D
  3. 1. You are gay
    2. This is a windup (NOT A FUCKING WAH for the terminally dense cunts who think it is)

    Sent from my Desire HD using Tapatalk
  4. Should I have my partner insert himself inside me to help "wiggle" it out... oooo
  5. I'll get a speculum from work that should do the trick.
  6. Was it an Army red top battery? If so turn yourself in to the RMP and you'll be 'charged' :rofl:

    Where's Western when you need him...
  7. Shame on you, a medical man too. This is what he needs, followed by wire brush and detol.....

    Attached Files:

  8. That should sort it once and for all.
  9. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    tried a very strong magnet?

    anyway, there is a positive to well as a negative... ahem.
  10. Insert the nozzle of a turbo vac up your hoop, switch on and enjoy. When you hear a rattle, make sure you switch off before removing. If you forget, you will be made aware of this by your rectum hanging inside out from your ricker.
  11. This thread will go the same place as that battery.
  12. It's like being back in A&E with men saying "oh I just was holding this cucumber and it er slipped up my arse" or "I was walking across the room with this bottle and slipped, it broke cutting my willy"

    You will have to try harder than that
  13. Did you mean the entire battery got lost up your arrse or just the gun dets?
  14. What? Actually sever the bloody thing?!

    .............and, as has been said, this is a v weak wind-up: there's usually one of these around on a 12-month cycle.
  15. You fail to mention the size. It is imperative we know if it a hearing aid type, AA, D cell, 12v or indeed an entire Bty, if so is it Field, AD, parachute, commando etc.
    Speculums do come in different sizes or we may need a tunnel borer