Bathroom Antics

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by B_AND_T, Jan 23, 2009.

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  1. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Saturday morning is my down time. I am used to getting up early during the week and that doesn't change on weekends. This gives me the freedom to sit down in front of the news with a smoke and a cuppa with nothing on but a smile because I can scratch my nuts in peace.

    Mrs B&T, lazy bitch, stays in bed until sundown. I make sure that the kids get a late night on the Friday so they will sleep in. So this gives me about 3 hours before a hell lets loose.

    So after my cup of tea I normally go for a long uninterrupted soak in the bath, (if the kids need the toilet they can go downstairs, sod em). Now here is my problem. After a few years of doing this I have got into a routine. Read a book or look at porn, knock one out then read a book.

    I am in a rut. Now short of seeing how much vodka I can get down my neck in this time of tranquilty (not recommended at 0700hrs), has anyone got any idea's how to improve this valuable time?

    Many thanks!
  2. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    Just mix things up a bit

    Look at porn, read a book, knock one out

    Depending on the book the last one might prove a challenge, try knocking one out after you have read something on pile surgery or basket weaving
  3. if you do get interuppted in the bath - have massive poo and leave the fecker lurking in the bog, for all to see! That should keep them away!
  4. Here are my suggestions:

    1/ Ring and order a hooker.

    2/ See just how far away you can get before anyone notices you're gone. My personal best was Italy, but I'm sure you could do better with a little planning.

    3/ Try mixing your own explosives in the kitchen. Then wake the family by sending your garden shed into orbit.

    4/ Hunt down all the local cats with a crossbow, before making them into Davy Crockett hats and selling therm on Ebay.

    Hope this helped.
  5. A BJ and a cup of tea !!....I fkn wish :roll:

    Just stay in bed and nudge the mrs with yer meat rocket, if that fails to stir her just shoot yer man paste over her dish , glad to be of service. :D
  6. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Your just plain weird.
  7. I'm confused??
  8. This is hugely valuable gaming time!!!!!

    The only time you can play in peace and quiet without interuption.

    EVE-Online linky

    within days the wife will be calling it the other woman :wink:

    If you're old enough to remember and enjoy Elite, you'll love this.
  9. Love number 3 and 4 hahaha awesome
  10. See how many times you can stick your knob in your missus mouth before she gags and wakes up
  11. After you have had a tug wipe your jizz on the wifes lips and see if she stays asleep long enough for them to stick.
  12. Or if you do get interuppted in the bath, have massive poo and leave the fecker lurking in the tub :D
  13. Kidnapp a 16 year old girl and keep her captive in your bathroom for you to beat and rape at leisure.