Barred, kicked out, **** off and don't come back.

I have never been banned form a pub but I have banned a few. The main one was a Weatherspoons in Brum where the staff were running a few scams against the customers, trid to tell the manager but he was obviously in on it so I told the local neighbourhood officer who was familiar with the place.
 
The Rocket Bar was often put out of bounds and Eric the owner would be up at camp complaining to the CO about loss of earnings. One night the RMPs came knocking and Eric hid a few of outside the rear fire exit while they checked for squaddies.

He was quite tolerant of squaddies, even after they tried to nick the rocket above the dance floor. He also had some cracking submariner tales from WW2. If you survived until closing (06:00am) he'd often buy you a beer or two down and sometimes Fruhstuck down at the Ost Bahnhof down at the bottom of the hill.

But never fall asleep, that cattle prod was painful!
Man I had some cracking nights in the Rocket bar
 
So you wouldn't describe the landlord as a canny man? He was famous for strange behaviour, and his pub was a filthy shitehole
I wouldn't know. I never saw the inside of it. If computers had been as commonplace in 93 as they are now, I could have made up a few convincing looking flyers for some dubious goings on, and "leaked" them to the wrong people. Maybe a fetish party, a gay speed-dating night, a Hibs v Hearts casuals meet up, or a Blood & Honour gig.
 

jmb3296

Old-Salt
I wouldn't know. I never saw the inside of it. If computers had been as commonplace in 93 as they are now, I could have made up a few convincing looking flyers for some dubious goings on, and "leaked" them to the wrong people. Maybe a fetish party, a gay speed-dating night, a Hibs v Hearts casuals meet up, or a Blood & Honour gig.
I have been in it. Once and never again.
 
I'm banned from the caff down at the garden centre.

Can't tell you what happened but shit kicked off over a buttered teacake.
Did someone get triggered when you shat on a glass table?
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
Can anyone here validate the urban myth about the motorcycle through the door of a pub called The Cartoon ?

Also got thrown out of some place in Old Welwyn with all my mates on my stag do, but I was already pished so can't remember why. Or, in fact, what pub.
It was The Baron of Beef.

I'd like to say ' get your coat - you've pulled ' but you're not my type [easy]
 
Not that I would want to add to the deviance of this thread.........much........but I have a fragment of a song in my head which I must have heard in the aforementioned newt state. Only one verse and I'd love to know the rest of it if there is any Arrserati out there with a better memory than mine.

"A writhing coitus in a London taxi,
An old French letter that was signed by Maxi,
Oh how the penicillin stings,
These foolish things,
Remind me of you"

(Sung to These Foolish Things)
The dose of Gonorrhea that won't get better

Oh ! How the Dettol stings !
These foolish things etc.......
 
I remember dale the snail getting kicked out of more than one drinking establishment in Richmond (the Yorkshire one)

One instance (The Turf) involved her accusing a young ginger lad of being a member of the Royal Family

I think she also got us barred from The Fleece - the stickiest pub in the UK.
 
I remember dale the snail getting kicked out of more than one drinking establishment in Richmond (the Yorkshire one)

One instance (The Turf) involved her accusing a young ginger lad of being a member of the Royal Family

I think she also got us barred from The Fleece - the stickiest pub in the UK.
Stickiest pub maybe, bet Slimelight would beat it for stickiest floors though
 
I have never been banned form a pub but I have banned a few. The main one was a Weatherspoons in Brum where the staff were running a few scams against the customers, trid to tell the manager but he was obviously in on it so I told the local neighbourhood officer who was familiar with the place.
Square Peg?
 
Nothing just nothing can justify that behaviour.
Are you from abertillery?
No.
Born in Yorkshire, but moved down this way as a VERY young child.
I live not far from Abertillery though, rarely go into the town though, Tesco is about as far as I venture.
And that's only for beer and whisky.
 
I remember dale the snail getting kicked out of more than one drinking establishment in Richmond (the Yorkshire one)

One instance (The Turf) involved her accusing a young ginger lad of being a member of the Royal Family

I think she also got us barred from The Fleece - the stickiest pub in the UK.
Shit.
I lived in Richmond as a tiny wee sprog (Dad was an instructor in Catterick). I didn't see much from the confines of my pram though.
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
Got barred from the Three Tuns in Blackheath village for crooning:
"I can't give you anything but love bayaybee
sixteen inches in a rubber glove baybee
wobble it, gobble it it's nice and clean
if it's tight that's all right smother it in vaseline
Gee you make my penis kinda swell bayaybee
make the end just like a rubber bell baybee
tonight I'm gonna give you fuckinell baybee
I can't give you anything but love"
 
No.
Born in Yorkshire, but moved down this way as a VERY young child.
I live not far from Abertillery though, rarely go into the town though, Tesco is about as far as I venture.
And that's only for beer and whisky.
Do the roads in Abertillery stI'll lack name signs?
 
Good to see this thread going again. On today, of all days, when we are finally allowed inside pubs once again, let's try and get chucked out. I have faith in you cunts to do us proud, go forth and piss on the pub peanuts.
 
I got banned from a pub in Brighton once. It was managed by a rather proud Scot.

My remark of "You might have won the first leg at Bannockburn, but we won on aggregate after Culloden" didn't go down very well.

Wordsmith :cry:
Comsidering that the 'we' were a mixture of Scottish Highlander and Lowland regiments plus Austrian and Hanoverians (with some Engljsh) I think your landlord was a bit over sensitive or similarly lacking in his knowledge of history. While Bannockburn was indeed a fight between the Scots and the 'auld enemey', Culloden was a scrap between the House of Stewart and the House of Hanover - a dynastic power struggle that had nothing to do with nationalism.

If your landlord had been a proper Jock he would have replied with 'Aye, Wembly 15 April 1967'.....enjoy yer drink ya bas'.
 
Good to see this thread going again. On today, of all days, when we are finally allowed inside pubs once again, let's try and get chucked out. I have faith in you cnuts to do us proud, go forth and piss on the pub peanuts.
Bah
My local has been doing backdoor service for months.

I got bladdered and flattened a lamp in there the other week. Cost me a few notes for the damage, but I'm still going in there.
 

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