Barred, kicked out, **** off and don't come back.

All these dits and nobody has discussed the ‘out of bounds to troops’ bars. Bars from which the entire bloody army had been barred, yet somehow, spookily, were the most popular bars in the garrison.

From my own recollection, there was the ‘Rocket Bar’ in Isalohn (great little after hours drinking establishment) and the ‘Hammer and Toenail’ in Hameln, in which two and a half sapper regiments (generally) managed a peaceful coexistence without (much) fratricide.

What other OOB bars were popular?
Bob when was the Rocket Bar in Iserlohn put out of bounds? I've staggered out of there on many a morning, straight into a taxi and back to camp just in time for breakfast. We also used to frequent the New Bar across the road and up the hill from the BMH.
 
Bob when was the Rocket Bar in Iserlohn put out of bounds? I've staggered out of there on many a morning, straight into a taxi and back to camp just in time for breakfast. We also used to frequent the New Bar across the road and up the hill from the BMH.
It was out of bounds during my time in 5 Squadron, so 83-85 at least.
 
It was out of bounds during my time in 5 Squadron, so 83-85 at least.
Ah okay, that is after my time there by a few years. Cracking posting though.
 
A long time after, 2003 if I remember rightly
Ah... then you'll be in the data base... lots of stuff seemed to disappear from prior to the early 90s. Not so much since then.
 

Cochise55

Swinger
Kicked out and barred for "kissing too much" about the third time I met the Mrs. I'm not sure if it was the quantity, the intensity, or what
Got chucked out of some snotty boozer in Llanfairfechan for kissing the missus once. On the lips. Not those lips. Never been back.

In other stories, thrown from a curry house in Welwyn Garden City because I'd hidden a dead rabbit we just happened to pass on the way their under me jacket. Carefully waited until the last to order (4 of us) produced the rabbit, and said 'you can spare the Alsatian'. The laugh was well worth a life ban, IMHO - it was a pretty shitty place. :)

Also got thrown out of some place in Old Welwyn with all my mates on my stag do, but I was already pished so can't remember why. Or, in fact, what pub.
 
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ches

LE
I got banned from every bar in Switzerland. Ok, technically myself & a few others got escorted to the French border by a load of dibbles & told not to darken their borders again courtesy of some big wig copper with epaulettes & scrambled egg on his cap. This was after being pulled for speeding at very high leptons which resulted in some very hefty fines before our forced exfil. The quasi-Nazi holocaust helping non neutral toss bags.
 
Got chucked out of some snotty boozer in Llanfairfechan for kissing the missus once. On the lips. Not those lips. Never been back.
I've visited Llanfairfechan, but only to park to explore the hills around there, you could get lost up in there in fog quite easily the only point of reference in the hills are the electricity pylons

Never thought of going in a pub there, the locals are weird
 
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Cochise55

Swinger
I've visited Llanfairfechan, but only to park to explore the hills around there, you could get lost up in there fog quite easily the only point of reference in the hills are the electricity pylons

Never thought of going in a pub there, the locals are weird
Yes, yes they are. I only knew the place because I had earlier had an English friend - a nurse - who had gone to work in the institution there.
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
the only time I got barred from a pub was when I Innocently asked the guvnors wife
"Excuse me are they cheese or ham rolls there ?" she went ballistic and barred me for life on the spot.

What Ididint know was that my mates were playing up in the bar ! I came back the following week and she did'nt recognise me as I wasnt a regular . the Germans Enfield wash .
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
although on my 21 st birthday bash i was calling up up a large round some 18 pintes so far when I came to the 19 the barmaid refused to serve me a pint for my mate when I asked him what he wanted . "hes barred "says she "he was smoking hash here a while back ! "
Despite my pleading and begging that it was my 21st and even offering to pop out to another pub after he had quickly drunk his pint she stubbornly refused.
I gave her every opportunity to back down but she refused so we walked out , "not only have you lost 18 drinks but also 15 odd regulars! "
Silly mare .
What she didnt know was that my dad and brother were big mates of the owner and they told my story and other regulars said that i was very polite and gave the soppy tart plenty of chance to think on ...... but there you go .
The Jolly Farmers Church street Edmonton .

Well as you ask I somehow found myself asleep in a field in Hertofdshire some 20 odd miles away . Happy Daze .
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Years back, early 80s, myself and a few hundred others were invited by Sussex Police to leave the scenic town of Hastings. This being a scooter run weekend and with a little bit of bother over said weekend. I'd woken up on the Sunday morning to find that some cunt had stolen the downpipe from the cylinder to the baffle on my exhaust so it sounded like a Cheify tank going down the road making it very illegal to ride, told Sussex plod this to the words "tough, you're all being escorted out of the county", gets to the Surrey border where we all got handed over to Surrey plod, told them the same thing with virtually the same reply, get handed on to the Met, told them and the cunts nick me for driving illegally, despite me mentioning that the other 2 had just told me to get on with it!
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
I didnt get barred but,
on a jolly boys outing in fancy dress on an open topped bus we stopped off to pick up a pigs head from my mates butchers shop. After a few hot hours it started to drip and get a wee bit slimy so I decided to ditch it in the aptly named Rifles Enfield. (just outside the royal ordinance factory as was ).
It was placed in a cubicle in the ladies bogs looking straight up with a dog end in it mouth.

As we were getting on the bus to offski there was a terrific scream and a few moments later the landlady came out to the car park holding the head by its ears. Nobody wanted to claim it but in the event we placed it in another pubs ladies bogs , as you do .

A few years later, i was taking my Swedish boss to a function in Holbourn provided by a large firm of accountants.
They has a few young lasses mingling with us trying to drum up business, one lass was talking to me so I asked her where she was from and she said BRIMSDOWN. So i told her the pigs head story.

Only turned out she was the girl who screamed when she found it ! she told us that she was very hung over and told her friends that she was only on soft drinks and in a bit of a daze she popped into the loo, it was only once she had her pee that she saw the pig an nearly shat herself.
both my boss and her boss were well impressed with me .

As aN adjunct to this storyt i tokm my boos over to the Mitre pub in Ely place for a quick one when we got into drinking company with Peter Accroyd the author and he was flashing £50 pound notes around getting the rounds in so it would have been churlish to say no wouldn't it ? He had been filming all day with a Hungarian film crew or something . It all got a bit vauge after that as I was really pissed.
 
As my username suggests, my age, my appearance and attitude has seen me get refused from many a boozer in my youth. Too many to mention.
The last time I can remember was around July 1993. While on a course at Catterick, one of the lads invited a few of us up to his birthday party in Edinburgh. So, Saturday lunchtime, we headed up there to his address in Morningside. His mother told us he was in the local boozer round the corner, and we could meet him there.
On arrival at the front door, we were immediately refused, because we were not regulars. Despite being completely sober, and only 3 or 4 of us, we were sent on our way. It was only because our mate was in there that I did not tell them what I thought of them.
Meeting our mate later in the afternoon, he said the landlord could be a bit of a prat sometimes, and got funny with people. A month or so later, there was an article about the pub in the Sunday Mail, and the landlord from Hell.
I have not named the pub, but I am sure what I describe has struck a chord with somebody from Edinburgh. TripAdvisor has quite a few bad reviews.
 

Smeggers

ADC
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I've visited Llanfairfechan, but only to park to explore the hills around there, you could get lost up in there in fog quite easily the only point of reference in the hills are the electricity pylons

Never thought of going in a pub there, the locals are weird
Yes, most pubs - you knock someone's drink over, you either buy another or get the shit kicked out of you.
In Welsh pubs - you knock someone's drink over, they take you out back and shag you to death!
 
Bob when was the Rocket Bar in Iserlohn put out of bounds? I've staggered out of there on many a morning, straight into a taxi and back to camp just in time for breakfast. We also used to frequent the New Bar across the road and up the hill from the BMH.
The Rocket Bar was often put out of bounds and Eric the owner would be up at camp complaining to the CO about loss of earnings. One night the RMPs came knocking and Eric hid a few of outside the rear fire exit while they checked for squaddies.

He was quite tolerant of squaddies, even after they tried to nick the rocket above the dance floor. He also had some cracking submariner tales from WW2. If you survived until closing (06:00am) he'd often buy you a beer or two down and sometimes Fruhstuck down at the Ost Bahnhof down at the bottom of the hill.

But never fall asleep, that cattle prod was painful!
 
As my username suggests, my age, my appearance and attitude has seen me get refused from many a boozer in my youth. Too many to mention.
The last time I can remember was around July 1993. While on a course at Catterick, one of the lads invited a few of us up to his birthday party in Edinburgh. So, Saturday lunchtime, we headed up there to his address in Morningside. His mother told us he was in the local boozer round the corner, and we could meet him there.
On arrival at the front door, we were immediately refused, because we were not regulars. Despite being completely sober, and only 3 or 4 of us, we were sent on our way. It was only because our mate was in there that I did not tell them what I thought of them.
Meeting our mate later in the afternoon, he said the landlord could be a bit of a prat sometimes, and got funny with people. A month or so later, there was an article about the pub in the Sunday Mail, and the landlord from Hell.
I have not named the pub, but I am sure what I describe has struck a chord with somebody from Edinburgh. TripAdvisor has quite a few bad reviews.
So you wouldn't describe the landlord as a canny man? He was famous for strange behaviour, and his pub was a filthy shitehole
 
I'm banned from the caff down at the garden centre.

Can't tell you what happened but shit kicked off over a buttered teacake.
 

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