Barred from every bar in the country!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mitchthebar, Apr 16, 2010.

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  1. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Why is it frightening? She's quite clearly an out-and-out pishead who gets out of order whenever she's on the lash. She was barred from all the pubs and offies before the nationwide ban was imposed, which does suggest she's got a lot of form with the locals.

    If she was a quiet drunk, she'd not have been barred or served with the order.

    Edited to add: Hang on, it's in the Scum, and the NAAFI. Yeah, I'd do her, the dirty little scutter!
     
  2. Not her,.............. the thought of being barred from every drinks outlet in the British Isles is what is frightening!"
     
  3. With Chebs like those, I'd buy her anything as long as she reciprocated the favour :wink:
     
  4. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    Fcuk yeah i'd give her a bottle of vodka and abng her back doors in.
     
  5. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Sadly, DII disallows me fromposting any YouTube links, but I strongly recommend watcing "Your Missus is a Nutter" by Goldie Looking Chain, those fine upstanding Welsh lads - it describes this woman to a tee:

    "I've never seen a woman make a f*ckin' skinhead cry,
    And I never seen a woman try to snap an arm with her thigh.
    Now I have and it's just across the pub,
    And the worst thing is she's takin' you home for a rub.
    You don't deserve it, you know it's a fact,
    But mix her up with booze, you got a suicide pact,
    2 tequilas and 4 vodka mules,
    She's a wrecking ball and her fists are her tools.

    Binge drinking, binge drinking
    Tried keeping up with your missus, what was I thinking?
    She looks like Caprice,
    But it's a shock to see her wrestling 2 police,
    With one in a headlock!
    Fighting with bouncers and flashing her bits,
    After 2 flamin' sambucas she dont care who she hits,
    Waking up on Sunday morning, with bruises and cuts,
    Face it son, your missus is nuts!"

    Sheer poetry :)
     
  6. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Damn beat me to it! :D
     
  7. Quite my sentiments exactly
     
  8. You lot seem to have your brains in your balls.

    The point I was trying to get across was the horrifying thought of being banned from every drinking establishment in the country.

    Oh, and by the way, I wouldn't mind getting across her, (if she was sober).
     
  9. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    sober? send her to me, I have booze!
     
  10. From the evidence, I think you might need a straight-jacket aswell.
     
  11. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Be a fun ride then!
     
  12. Bet she's really filthy in bed after a night on the grog, well I live in hope :twisted:
     
  13. She looks like a younger, blonder version of an ex of mine.
    Banged like a shit house door in a storm, but as mad as a box of frogs.
    I definately would.
     
  14. I was barred from beering it in Thirsk after an unfortunate incident after a sporting event, admittedly I am not too upset, on my things to do list going back to Thirsk is settled somewhere nicely between slashing the soles of my feet with a gerber and roly polying across Woodbury Common in the buff....again