Barbie gets her (brown) wings

#1
Am I weird?

There I was this morning, taking 5 mins to grab a coffee while my son was watching Noddy, when on came the adverts.

The TV is blaring out some bad americanised blurb about the new fairywings Barbie - 'look, Barbie's got her wings'. Before I could even think, I found myself talking back to the TV and asking 'Oh yeah Barbie, got your BROWN wings have ya' and sniggering like a tw@t.

Meanwhile my son looks up at me with innocence and some confusion in his eyes and says 'What mummy?'

Not wanting to have to explain to a child what brown wings meant and why I was finding it so amusing, I quickly tried to divert his attention to something else. 'Oh look, another advert, look'

I soon wished I hadn't said that, because the next one was for 'The Cosmic Hoop'!

I know I should be more mature, but I really couldn't help it and for the word hoop to appear so soon after the Barbies brown wings episode just set me off.

By now, my lad is looking up at me wondering what the feck his mother is laughing so hard at and he is actually looking a bit ashamed of me.

Is it just me? Or do any other arrsers find an alternative and amusing meaning to things aimed at kids? Or am I just a sad feck?
 
#4
I know what you mean Moody, all these sweet innocent advert have hidden meanings i'm sure of it. Or then like you I could be a sad dirty minded cow!!!

RRBx
 
#10
Hoop is a very amusing word. As is box. If you don't know what brown wings are AS, you don't need to know. Moody, when you start throwing innuendos at the TV when only yer lad is around, it's an indicator that you need to get out more.

My action man took barbie's brown wings in 1985. As his genitals are entombed in his blue war pants, I had to resort to 'marking the DZ' with a hot stanley knife before teaching action man the finer art of fisting. My old man threw my action man away and banned me from playing with my sisters toys after he found me supervising an old school gangbang with action man, Cindy and a whole herd of My Little Ponies.
 
#11
RTFQ said:
Hoop is a very amusing word. As is box. If you don't know what brown wings are AS, you don't need to know. Moody, when you start throwing innuendos at the TV when only yer lad is around, it's an indicator that you need to get out more.

My action man took barbie's brown wings in 1985. As his genitals are entombed in his blue war pants, I had to resort to 'marking the DZ' with a hot stanley knife before teaching action man the finer art of fisting. My old man threw my action man away and banned me from playing with my sisters toys after he found me supervising an old school gangbang with action man, Cindy and a whole herd of My Little Ponies.
I always knew Cindy was a slut
 
#12
Barbie was ok for but my Princess Leia figure was far more flexible and had a skirt that could be lifted up. I will never forget those school boy lusting as I had her gang fecked by a couple a of storm troopers with Darth directing the show.
 
#13
And i thought I was the only one who glued the finger from his action man to his groin, drilled a hole for Barbie and practiced some of the positions I saw in my old mans porn mags. For years I thought I was a perv but at last I can see there are others out there like me....at last a sense of relief has flooded over me
 
#14
Greengrass said:
Barbie was ok for but my Princess Leia figure was far more flexible and had a skirt that could be lifted up. I will never forget those school boy lusting as I had her gang fecked by a couple a of storm troopers with Darth directing the show.
What the feck are you doing with a Princess Leia figure? You wooftah;)
 
#16
I am sorry to point out that three or four squaddies talking about child hood previsions does not make it normal if anything the knowledge that my actions were also carried out by other sexual degenerates fills me with shame. Not enough shame to stop mind you. As for the Leia doll I had the full Star Wars set they would have been worth a few bob now if they were not all permanently fused in some of the more tricky positions of the Karma Sutra
 
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#17
RTFQ said:
My action man took barbie's brown wings in 1985. As his genitals are entombed in his blue war pants, I had to resort to 'marking the DZ' with a hot stanley knife before teaching action man the finer art of fisting.
Back when I got my first Action Man - in the 60s for feck's sake - he didn't have the blue pants. My sister's Cindy was thus hideously disappointed, after he'd charmed her with his painted on brown hair, immobile eyes and hard non-gripping fingers, to discover that he was completely lacking in genitalia and was thus some kind of asexual freak. Sad fact was that she'd had a few Martinis by then and was seriously up for some hard-core botty loving from the military lothario. I'm told that she became a lesbian and moved away to set up a 'Wimmin's' commune on Exmoor. Action Man himself went to pieces: one of his arms mysteriously fell off and he was eventually found dead in suspicious circumstances of multiple airgun wounds in my parents' back garden.
 
#20
I firmly believe that you're never too old to have a happy childhood. One of my more infantile pleasures is singing along to the radio in the car, and substituting any lyrical reference to heart, with ar*e, as in the Elton John/Kiki Dee classic "Dont go breaking my ar*e". Puerile and childish it may be, but so what. I've been caught out so many times at the lights with the windows down belting out "thats the shape of my ar*e" or something similiar, and giggling like a mong, that I dont care anymore.
 

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