Barbie © inc. fücking slutting shagbag money sweetness SPAM

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by trickywoo, Jan 9, 2006.

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  1. Right, my daughter’s 4 and while no. 1 is in the kitchen proving to his mother that at the age of 6 not having the ability to count to 20 won’t preclude him entrance to Mons, no. 2 is sat on her faither’s knee and only interested in Barbie as usual. The unclouded thoughts of a man who’s not had a drink since Thursday due to a virus took me to the Barbie © (inc) © fücking webcave. Therein, we found such saccharin, nauseating, spew suggesting .com videogame cüntstrapping nightmares as reduced my lifeforce to a paternal trickle. When we finally caught four magic bästard clouds on Pegasus the fecking winged chariot we “won” some sort of electronic gift voucher to spend even more cash on the 10 ft sophomoric, pornalike slutbag.

    Now, firstly - if yon Pegasus comes with a blonde Amazon aboard, half the Parachute Regiment would be shagging it too so it wouldn’t get airborne with all that range glue up it anyway. Secondly, if la Barbie’s got 10 ft legs, her no doubt shaven twät would swallow the horse whole. Finally, the look of total happiness on no 2’s beautiful fizzer means I’ll be doing this every night for a month. AND there’s a fücking fillum out! Is there no end to this madness? Will I be arrested for being the only Dad downing a 6 pack of Kronie at Crawley UCI at 9 on Saturday morning watching this crap?
  2. You won't be the only one. And I'm glad I'm not the only Dad who thinks this crap is used to black mail parents into parting with hard earned cash, we have bloody Barbie duvet's, Barbie Beetle cars and a Barbie motorbike, bloody Barbie ponies and my normally intelligent wife thinks its just wonderful and buys the bloody stuff. I have no idea how much it costs but I'm sure I could fund a small insurgency with the cash and another thing if I come into the house to find the blooody Barbie "Nutcracker" on the DVD another time it will be turned into a bloody nice coaster PDQ!

    It wouldnt be so bad, but I've just counted the bloody things and she now has 8! Yes 8 bloody Barbies and to cap it all won't have her hair cut as "she wants to look like Barbie"...pass the 6 pack
  3. Pardon..........???

    You DID say that you haven't drunk since last Thursday, didn't you...??

    Bloody Hell...!!
  4. Just wait until No2 is old enought to develop the Bratz habit - its the more 'street' version designed for when they are growing out of Barbies, it will wring the last pennies from you, they do look good in a very slutty way though.
  5. Wait until you`ve got 5 Grandaughters then you can complain 8O
  6. 1 daughter, 5 nieces, Bratz......more expensive that Barbie....... :(
  7. J_D

    J_D LE

    Stick them infront of the TV and play The Magic Roundabout! Keep them going for a while :wink:
  8. We should start a support group.

    I'll Start (Standing up) I'm Bed_Surfer and my Daughter's a Barbie Addict. :cry:

    Barbie list.
    Princess and the pauper
    Swan Lake
    :cry: :cry:
  9. Haha, Bratz is like the slutty, self obsessed Barbie for the new millenium.

  10. My daughter just hit that stage, everything for christmas had to be bratz.... I now know all the words to that bloody bratz angels song on the dvd . At 7 she has now decided she wants to be a rock star too because 'the guys are waaaay cute mom'....ffs!!!! she's a bloody jock why can't she speak like one!!! I'm stuck with a life size version of bratz until she hits the teens I suppose... wonder what'll be then?
  11. BS, ffs sake keep your brood away from Bratz, accessories more expensive that yanky Barbie!
  12. Its too late for me, my 8 year old has buried the house in Bratz stuff, run you can still save yourselves!........................
  13. msr

    msr LE

    I just hope I have a son....

  14. You sad, deluded, innocent fool. I have 3 sons. What can I tell you?

    Teenage mutant Ninja turtles, pokemon, digimon, Batman, spiderrman, scooby doo, Postman Pat, tellie tubbies, WWF, Power fcuking Rangers, Simpsons, Action Man, etc., etc., ad nauseam. All come with their own range of plastic, made-in-China accessories, vehicles (character figures not included), stationery, torches, bed-linen, play mats, crockery, curtains, wall papers, story books, colouring books, videos, jigsaws, etc. All the above has batteries not included, costs £37.99, has absolutely zero material value, comes lashed into a cardboard and bubble wrap package with half-a-mile of plastic coated chicken wire, and requires at least 2 houirs of Daddies time to assemble.

    Those cartoons you allow them to watch to geta bit of peace contain subliminal advertising that brain-washes them into wanting this pointless shite.

    I'd recommend you book a vasectomy now whilst there's still time.
  15. msr

    msr LE

    Either that, or I send a transit van round to yours in a couple of years ;)