Barbie © inc. fücking slutting shagbag money sweetness SPAM

#1
Right, my daughter’s 4 and while no. 1 is in the kitchen proving to his mother that at the age of 6 not having the ability to count to 20 won’t preclude him entrance to Mons, no. 2 is sat on her faither’s knee and only interested in Barbie as usual. The unclouded thoughts of a man who’s not had a drink since Thursday due to a virus took me to the Barbie © (inc) © fücking webcave. Therein, we found such saccharin, nauseating, spew suggesting .com videogame cüntstrapping nightmares as reduced my lifeforce to a paternal trickle. When we finally caught four magic bästard clouds on Pegasus the fecking winged chariot we “won” some sort of electronic gift voucher to spend even more cash on the 10 ft sophomoric, pornalike slutbag.

Now, firstly - if yon Pegasus comes with a blonde Amazon aboard, half the Parachute Regiment would be shagging it too so it wouldn’t get airborne with all that range glue up it anyway. Secondly, if la Barbie’s got 10 ft legs, her no doubt shaven twät would swallow the horse whole. Finally, the look of total happiness on no 2’s beautiful fizzer means I’ll be doing this every night for a month. AND there’s a fücking fillum out! Is there no end to this madness? Will I be arrested for being the only Dad downing a 6 pack of Kronie at Crawley UCI at 9 on Saturday morning watching this crap?
 
#2
You won't be the only one. And I'm glad I'm not the only Dad who thinks this crap is used to black mail parents into parting with hard earned cash, we have bloody Barbie duvet's, Barbie Beetle cars and a Barbie motorbike, bloody Barbie ponies and my normally intelligent wife thinks its just wonderful and buys the bloody stuff. I have no idea how much it costs but I'm sure I could fund a small insurgency with the cash and another thing if I come into the house to find the blooody Barbie "Nutcracker" on the DVD another time it will be turned into a bloody nice coaster PDQ!

It wouldnt be so bad, but I've just counted the bloody things and she now has 8! Yes 8 bloody Barbies and to cap it all won't have her hair cut as "she wants to look like Barbie"...pass the 6 pack
 
#4
Just wait until No2 is old enought to develop the Bratz habit - its the more 'street' version designed for when they are growing out of Barbies, it will wring the last pennies from you, they do look good in a very slutty way though.
 
#8
We should start a support group.

I'll Start (Standing up) I'm Bed_Surfer and my Daughter's a Barbie Addict. :cry:

Barbie list.
Pegasus
Princess and the pauper
Swan Lake
Rupunzel
FairyTopia
:cry: :cry:
 
#10
armchair_jihad said:
Just wait until No2 is old enought to develop the Bratz habit - its the more 'street' version designed for when they are growing out of Barbies, it will wring the last pennies from you, they do look good in a very slutty way though.

My daughter just hit that stage, everything for christmas had to be bratz.... I now know all the words to that bloody bratz angels song on the dvd . At 7 she has now decided she wants to be a rock star too because 'the guys are waaaay cute mom'....ffs!!!! she's a bloody jock why can't she speak like one!!! I'm stuck with a life size version of bratz until she hits the teens I suppose... wonder what'll be then?
 
#14
msr said:
I just hope I have a son....

msr
You sad, deluded, innocent fool. I have 3 sons. What can I tell you?

Teenage mutant Ninja turtles, pokemon, digimon, Batman, spiderrman, scooby doo, Postman Pat, tellie tubbies, WWF, Power fcuking Rangers, Simpsons, Action Man, etc., etc., ad nauseam. All come with their own range of plastic, made-in-China accessories, vehicles (character figures not included), stationery, torches, bed-linen, play mats, crockery, curtains, wall papers, story books, colouring books, videos, jigsaws, etc. All the above has batteries not included, costs £37.99, has absolutely zero material value, comes lashed into a cardboard and bubble wrap package with half-a-mile of plastic coated chicken wire, and requires at least 2 houirs of Daddies time to assemble.

Those cartoons you allow them to watch to geta bit of peace contain subliminal advertising that brain-washes them into wanting this pointless shite.

I'd recommend you book a vasectomy now whilst there's still time.
 
#16
There is a hope, Ebay, save a bloody fortune its all on there new and used picked up a new Gameboy for £40 quid for Xmas with 3 games and Harry bloody potter game for £11 bargain..Oh and don't mention bikes, need to be changed every couple of years and as we had a boy then a girl then a boy, no they won't use the old ones. Even the bloody bike has to be Bloody Barbie, god I need more beer...or a promotion
 
#17
Onetap - have you come up for breath yet, chief? :D Hope you're not with ArGross for that lot - my wife missed a payment in November and they phoned us at home. I answered. he he he
 
#18
It goes from bad to worse.......

I mentioned this barbie thread to my good lady, who finds it most amusing and thinks I'm getting old. To make my worries worse she explained what my daughter said after watching Scooby Doo...

I must be a very poor father, I blame the armed forces for keeping my away from my parental responsibilities during her formative early years...

During Scooby Doo, Pamela Anderson makes a brief appearance, at which point my little one pipes up....

" I like her, when I grow up I'm going to look like her, she's Barbie!" 8O WTf have I done to deserve this.........Where is the mess Webley

edited for spelling
 
#19
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhh Bratz! Little'un is bankrupting me with these mini slut dolls (without any interesting holes.) They are also mutants as they have no noses!
 

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#20
The male / female balance has been restored! Walking with the boy to the offie to bag more of this wonderful Magners stuff I can't seem get enough of he started playing "war" just like we all did in the playground. Never beofre seen this in the lad even though he's been marching since 3. Full on Sterling at the hip, "na na na na" shouting and decent fire and maneuver skills. Finally, he raised an arm and threw a grenade into a bus queue - waiting a few seconds before announcing the detonation to the no doubt thrilled onlookers. To celebrate his new found army skills, he skipped all the way along the shopping parade. :D
 

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