I have a problem with the service industry in this country. My problem is that everyone in it, from the lowliest deep-fat fryer op to the most exalted CEO is a cnut, a wastrel and a b@stard. When I go to any other country, even Germany - home of the fascist approach to table service - the people who serve my food and drink have the decency to understand that they are TAKING my hard earned money and that I expect something in return. In Britain, ordering a meal or buying a drink is the social equivalent to bending over, letting every member of the restaurant staff angrily dry-bum me, then allowing them in turn to pull my head back by my hair and spit in my mouth before I willingly place my cash-fat wallet on the table and walk out with a cheery "Thankyou" while the head chef gives me the bird. No where is this more obvious than a trendy, expensive bar. The Bible has something to say about employing attractive girls as bar staff. In Isiah 12:11, Jerebiah, son of Moab opens a titty bar just off Judea Road in Bethlehem. He employs 3 women behind the bar: Daliah, Helen and Methuzalah - each having been recommended by his mate Job who runs the working mens' club down the road. He's very happy because the talents come rolling in every weekend and the beer flows like blood at a backstreet circumcision practice. God comes to him in the form of a Chilli Chicken Kebab and says, verily: "You have a problem with the bar staff my son" Jerebiah replies: "No LORD, how can that be? Surely you are talking out of your bunghole!" The LORD our GOD says "Naysay me again sunshine and I'll f.ucking smite you so hard..." So the lord shows him what he means. Daliah is fair of face and has chebs that sit up and beg for a slap. All the punters drool at her and she is responsible for at least 3 extra rounds of tequila per night as some group of muppets get them in to show her what hard drinkers and hilarious wags they are. Unfortunately she can't work the new tills that Jerebiah had installed recently and everytiome she pulls a pint she provides more head than a BW wives' club when the lads are away and yet she STILL manages to spill more beer than a subbie on his first trip to Spearmint Rhino. As Jerebiah watches her work her part of the bar, he notices that none of the women stood there are being served and that she'll get so far down along before returning to the big black guy by the till who hasn't paid for a drink the entire night. People are moving away from her part of the bar and instead going to the part serviced by: Helen, who is 18 going on 16 and attractive in a "I take it in the Gary" sort of way. She has a Billericay Facelift (hair tied back so hard that she looks like a poodle with an electric toothbrush up it), but doesn't smile and seems angry that she has to work for a living. She was convinced that her NVQ in media Studies would get her a job as a Big Brother producer and she hates serving beer when she should be out with the girls. She can't be arrsed working the line of the bar properly so just pouts, shifts her weight onto one foot and asks "who's next" to the dozens of thirsty people before serving the nearest one to her anyway. She can work the till at least, but is a thieving cow who likes the idea of redistributing profits in her own direction. She'll leave after two weeks because Jerebiah won't promote her to bar manager. Lastly the LORD shows him Methuzalah. HE freely admits that HE was having a bad day when he made her and had used her face to clean the inside of HIS oven before sticking it to her portly frame. She's beavering away at her end of the bar and keeps the punters' pints full even though she has to keep helping the other girls out and keeps cleaning their smashed glasses after them. She even takes time to kave the odd joke with a customer. Her end of the bar is crammed with squaddies and hardened drinkers who like to drink rather than be ignored by stuck-up bints with work-ethic issues. She's paying her way through uni and is grateful for the job. "See what I mean?" Says the LORD. "Certainly do" says Jerebiah before sacking Methuzalah for being a minger. Am I the only one fed up with seeing moody little girls behind the bar or taking my order (erroneously) at restaurants with a cheery "Whadyawant?"