Bar antics

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by the_rigger, Mar 4, 2003.

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  1. Gents, as it is the NAAFI bar, how about recounting some top flight anecdotes of bar debauchery.
    I recall the squadron 5 pint challenge.
    A pint of lager, a pint cider, a pint of guiness, a pint of lemonade and a pint of p*ss in under 4 minutes. Vomitting optional but not compulsory

    Also "little boy wees" strides and pants round the ankles and shirt lifted up.
    AAAAH those were the days
  2. On the bar in Minden was two pint pots

    you could put ANYTHING in the first if you put money in the second, squaddies imagination ran wild, to find the most vile product to top up the pint pot.

    You could take the money if you could neck the pint of phlegm, greenies, dog poo, sick, athletes foot, toe nails etc.
  3. Pisssing in my can of lager at my brothers Boxing Night party in 1994 cos I'd run out of lager, in front of my family, his partners family and friends.  Consequently, I'm not invited to his house anymore.

    Pisssing downing the leg of my friends jeans in the Chieftain Club, and getting a smack in the gob for my trouble.
  4. And you didn't piss yourself of fill yer pants........ what a very dull evening ;D
  5. Working in Ireland in 93.

    As a result of a big score in the Bogside, the entire unit went on a 28 hour binge in the unit bar. Barrels kept getting paid for from the mainland, so it was our duty to keep drinking.

    We had two booties with us at the time who loved the old p*ss and sh*t antics. Let me get this in the right order. Bootie one (Paul) p*ssed in to a pint pot. Bootie two (Marv) consumed the contents. He then spewed in to an adjacent pint pot when his guts couldn't contain Bootie ones, acidic (and dosed up) urine. Pint pot now contains bile, N.S.U tainted vee-vee, and Bootie twos semi-digested Ginsters ploughmans. Man no 3 now yacks a big dockyard oyster (with its own central nervous system) in to the pint pot. Suicidal man no 4 then necks the f*cking lot, accompanied by a great whoop of amazement and joy from the gathered crowd.
    With the whole lot of us watching, with baited breath, he kept it all down.......... for about 15 seconds. He then starting walking like a zombie towards the exit. We followed him outside, and watched, stupefied, as his whole body started to convulse. You'd swear he was going to turn into a werewolf or something. After a few seconds of this he started expelling the ugliest spew you've ever seen. He had his head cocked up at about 45 degrees, so the vom was going up into the air a little bit before performing a beautiful swan dive on to his feet.
    He was there for about 30 seconds, before the flow began to wane. While he was stood there, man no 5 ran up behind him and with one quick movement, pulled the vommers trousers and gruds straight down to the ground.
    As soon as he stopped being sick, he came out of his trance, went to walk back to the bar, and tripped over his tangled clobber, straight in to the big pool he'd just made.
    If only we'd taped it for Beadle.
  6. You said it !!  No piiss stained, vomit antics, lesbian, commando dancing?  The piece de resistance was giggling and drinking more.  F-S, you need to come up North more often.  Next you'll be telling us you drink with your little finger stuck out.
  7. How about Piss jousting ? where 2 guys would run at each other 'schlong' out attempting to power p*ss at each other ? particulary useful if you had a foreskin which allowed for zeppling thus extra pressure - akin to a power wash which smells of sugar puffs.

    In fact, I remember being in a bar in NI with the Rigger at a piss sampling party where he commented that mine tasted of Perrier Water. If truth be known the rigger has a bit of a P*ss drinking fetish !

    Has anyone ever partook of the ancient art of GIN SNORTING ?
  8. A mutual friend of Rigger and I was in Blackpool for a beery night, we went for a meal with some civvy colleagues fo mine and the Drinking began, an inbuilt program made us try and out do each other and generally misbehave.

    I lost

    Ruth, as I will call him was found on his hands and knees outside the pub padding and wallowing in some vomit, not his own, as soon as my colleagues gave him the reaction he was looking for he tucked in to his dessert and scoffed the lot. To everyones amazement he kept it down and continued drinking until the early hours. I told my doorman mates what he had done and although feeling ill at the thought deep down they didn't believe me

    On leaving the club the doorman pulled us both and said that a tramp had been sick on the other side of the road.... Ruth made me proud and ran accross in front of a police meat wagon and again tucked in.

    Passers by were both amazed and sickened and were also heaving at the sight. I had a lump in my stomach I felt that proud.
  9. I have snorted Tequilla. Painful but interesting!

    F_S, I dare you to shag me senseless! ;)
  10. Just to let you know that you are all absolutely disgusting.  :eek:

    F_S - Please don't change your drunken nights out... at least there's still some semblance of human common sense in your actions.

    The p*ss, sick and jobbies antics are vile. I will not be coming back to this thread.

    Not even to share my own drunken antics! ;)
  11. You don't qualify as a man never mind a soldier until you have swamped or been swamped on ;D
  12. Sniper_Bird qualifies then :)
  13. I like to try most things in life but I can live with being swamped on.

    Wirecutters - we are dying to hear the latest on your dilemma - do set up a new post on it if you can - Lonely Hearts section might be best.
  14. Swamping in your own gop from the standing un-supported position.
    It's a hetro extravaganza
  15. Drinking from a Mk 4 Mortar with large traces of all the crap still inside. This does induce projectile vomiting though.