Banned – Her Maj!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by ScouseD, Jan 19, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. A controversial portrait of The Queen with a really long neck has finally gone on public display.

    The artwork, painted by John Napper in 1952, shows the monarch with a neck longer than a diseased juvenile badger.

    Napper himself described it as "a beautiful painting of a queen, but not this [or any other] Queen" But leading and well spoken art critics have described it as “ghastly” and “poo”, with one, an eminent collector, remarking “W-T-F?! What the shitting fuckary?!” When pushed for a summary he told us “lol”.

    After spending six decades in council vaults, the portrait went on display in Liverpool and even local tramps weren’t surprised. The city's deputy Lord Mayor, Gazza “Gary” Millar, said: "We are very proud... that Liverpool... now has... hanging”. Is true, and I tell you no fib.

    Does I look elegant?

    Full story here.
  2. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Give us a shout when I give a fuck what happens in Liverpool. Cheers.
  3. Here's his other masterpiece, Monarch of the Glen.

  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Lovely. But not done by a Scouser. Scousers are well known for shagging dogs. I feel the shagging dogs issue is important if we are discussing the finer points of modern art.

    Scousers fuck dogs. So their view on modern art is questionable. On account of their filthy dog fucking habits. Filthy dog fucking Scouse bastards what they are.
  5. Look, it’s now against the law to shag dogs, even though we do, so give it a rest. We’ve moved on or hoping to.

    I take it that you’re up so early because you’re jet lagged after coming back from your private beach. Sleep difficult? I’ll send you a hammer. Knock yourself out.

    Art? Angel of the North? Nope, the neck isn’t nearly long enough for my liking. We like ‘em really long down this way. Sort it out and get back to me.
  6. that's horrible worse than the one of her scouling
  7. Just do a cut and shut job on it... I can do it in my shed.