Late coming to the thread but just back off holliers (South Africa for circa three weeks - and back to this shoite weather!)
I remember in the 70s in Catterick that banks treated squaddies like we were lepers - and thick ones at that. Any request to draw money from your account was met with suspicious looks, endless trawling through their account ledgers to see if you were solvent, and then they might grudgingly hand over a fiver.
One lad, let's call him Slim 'cos we did, was a dab hand with the gee gees and regularly did well. So he wasn't short of a bob or two.
Slim goes into <mumble> bank in Camp Centre and, because he didn't have his cheque book with him, asked for a bank (not bLank - bank) cheque so's he could draw out cash (these were pre-bank card / ATM days).
"Sorry," says the teller, "I can't give you one."
"Why not?" ses Slim
"Mumble, mumble, bank policy etc. etc."
"Is it because I'm in the army?"
"Er," more mumbles, "policy..." - basically a "Yes".
"OK, I'd like to close my account please." ses the boy (his account was in that branch which made it even worse.)
"Oh there's no need for that...." etc.
"Close the account and give me the balance in cash."
After much to-ing and fro-ing the deed was done and a wad of several hundred, if not thousand, notes were piled on the counter to the astonishment of the poor teller.
"Now I'd like to open a new current account please." says Slim.
"But you've just closed your account." says the lad.
"Do you want my money or not?"
After more to-ing and fro-ing and managers being called the account was duly opened and the several hundred/thousand pounds deposited.
"Now could I have a temporary cheque book for that account please?" Slim says. (Remember those? Ten cheques with no name etc. printed on them which you got when opening a new account.)
Temporary cheque book produced. Slim takes a cheque, fills it in for CASH - say £25 - and hands it over. Of course, it's cashed.
"Now close the fcuking account, give me my money, and you can all go to hell." says yer man.
Class!
GMOB