Ban Excersise

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by nodigitsever, Jun 1, 2007.

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  1. as it causes you to exhale more C02 and use up more Oxygen, and the extra heat your body gives out contributes to Global Warming

    prove I am wrong?

    hooped. mk
  2. some of us have been saving the planet using this method for years - all you 'johnny come latelys'!! I don't know!! Some people!! ;)
  3. The fumes from the Ambulance taking your fat dead arse to the morgue would balance it out. See they'd need to use more fuel as you weigh more.

  4. touche :lol:
  5. not quite..when was the last time you got taken to the morgue by ambulance? most ambulances tend to take you to hospital...
  6. 'Pedantic hat on'

    The van transporting the stiffs sorry recently departed from hospital to the funeral directors to be prettied up & crated is usually marked 'Private Ambulance'. Presumably 'Dead Yins R Us' would be in poor taste?

    'Hat Off'

    Don't forget the extra wide coffin with reinforced bottom to stop your dead lardy dropping out (note - NEVER ask an undertaker for his 'War Stories') plus the bigger Foreman Grill required at the Crem. And as for the gas bill...
  7. ahh pedantic hat on is it? :wink: ...i said tends to take you to the hospital you said from the hospital to funeral directors....
  8. Health/global warming considerations aside - can anyone explain to me why joggers haven't been taxed yet? They do use public footpaths designed for gentle walking. Joggers create wear and tear which surely they should pay for. Also, they wear odd bright kit that can, in the morning, give me an instant migraine. Something needs to be done about it.
  9. :roll: curses, out pedanted. However, most morgues are in hospitals in the UK I believe? :D
  10. Anyway, if you don't exercise you die earlier. Again saving the planet. Ban it I say.
  11. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Spot on, that man. By banning it, we would save all those poor rubber trees that are cut down and mutilated (Yes! I have served in Malaya, I know they are not cut down) to make super jolly, hi-tech, glaringly coloured and hideously expensive trainers. Not to mention the amount of Lycra trees that have to be sacrificed so that we poor ordinary mortals have to be face to bum with Lycra clad wobble seats.

    And, if we fatties die, then just bury us. Think of the nutrients we put back inot the soil. Anyway, my funeral director uses a horse and cart. Well, carriage.

    And on the subject of Lycra; why do poxy cyclists have to cover themselves in the stuff and inflict their arses on the rest of us more modest creatures?
  12. I though Land had banned exercising for budgetary reasons?

    It's a bugger trying to get hold of pyro these days, certainly. I'm thinking of changing the post-ex declaration: "Sir, I have no paperclips, rubber bands, ripe bananas or pointed sticks in my possession, Sir!"
  13. Well you would being REME wouldn't you?
  14. Perhaps we could introduce a running/jogging license? also Health and Safety could be in charge of a yearly running shoe test (like a cars MOT) and don't forget insurance and a tax disc/registration plate.
    Also, in line with the latest crack down on tinted windows in cars, sunglasses worn by walkers, joggers etc will have to allow at least 75% of the light through or face an on the spot beatin.

    The biggest question is, should fat people be taxed more, as they will be causing more damage to roads/pavements/my eyes, or less to encourage them to exercise more (and live longer) while paying more tax before dying?
  15. The jogging license is a very good idea. As for fat people, well, you can't go into a pub and buy a beer if you are under 21. Why should you be allowed to buy a burger if you are over 21 - stone?