• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.


Ditto that for the Bucking Bronco!

FS - what do you want to know?

If it's "How many helium balloons will it take to float a lobster across the marquee?" I may be able to help. :D
Sounds good to me.

Just wondering what common pitfalls occur in the run-up/at the last minute and how a civvy girlfriend (have car, can make 16 more trips to Salisbury and back for things which have been forgotten) can be useful (rather than get in the way) in the couple of days before the event.

It should be fun. I am bringing three single girlfriends, two of whom are keen to get as debauched as possible.
With surplus single girlfriends didn't you realise that there are loads of balls in Andover etc. Spread your net and I'm sure you'll get loads of invites. Salisbury is excellent positioning for embarking on a Summer Ball spree.
It should be fun. I am bringing three single girlfriends, two of whom are keen to get as debauched as possible.
Why is a ball necessary for this? One phone call to yours truely and I can have half the British Army at The Porterhouse or "Just".... 8)
Woo, you are quite right... I can assure you they are not restricting themselves to Balls (ahem).  

One is actually leaving her newly found 'boyfriend' at home to attend though.  I have warned her that I cannot vouch for the medical approval (or otherwise) of the subbies.
Lifesaver - I'm not one of F_S's Ball guests.  Nor am i invited to anything else. I don't know if I'd be well behaved enough...

Maybe you HAVE got the wrong end of the stick.  :-/
Lifesaver, you'd be bored shiitless in an officers mess ball (boring conversation and boring people).  Much better in the Sgt's & WO's Mess, or even the junior ranks bar.
Only did lunch in the Officer's Mess once......when me dad was working on a certain base for the Met Office.

Yup it was rather strait laced, however, I assumed that was because it was a lunch and I was a lot younger then!  ::)

Food was excellent though!
You're obviously attending the wrong officers mess then.  I still get up to as much drunken mischief as I ever did as an NCO, only now I don't tend to get as much hassle for it! Tremendous!!