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Baiting the Mentally Impaired, Is It Wrong?

#1
Working in London, there is no shortage of drunk, mentally impaired people who walk the streets babbling incoherent nonsense while p*ssing their stinky kecks. Now these people provide no end of entertainment when i take my coffee and watch them pass by, shaking their heads, dribbling or chatting away to their invisible chums.

Where i work, there is a harry ramp who argues with himself on a regular basis and is known to stand stock still and stare into the sky. The other day, i was watching this chap on CCTV, walking along chatting to a pigeon that was moving along the pavement, until he came level with the massive electronically controlled sliding doors we have in our loading bay. As he walked past them, i opened them and they stayed level with him. When he stopped, the gates stopped. When he walked backwards, the gates followed him. He walked forwards again, the gates went with him. This utterly perplexed him. He shouted something, so i shut the gates fully. He walked off shaking his head and was last seen on CCTV rifling through a bin.

This evening, he came back. As he got level with the gates, i started the whole thing off again. He is at present standing over the other side of the road just staring at the gates. I am trying to get some sort of microphone/intercom set up so that the gates can talk to him.

The question is, am i messing with his already befuddled brain? Could this tip him over the edge? Is this wrong what i'm doing? Do any other Arrsers mess with these people in the same or a similar way?
 
#2
Crack on :D

If I was watching cctv all night instead of arrse, that would make my night!!!
 
#4
Make sure you Record it and post it on youtube. Because just reading about it i am chuckling away. But to watch it preferably with sound i think i could possibly pi$$ my self with laughter
 
#7
Cr33p said:
Make sure you Record it and post it on youtube. Because just reading about it i am chuckling away. But to watch it preferably with sound i think i could possibly pi$$ my self with laughter
Oh it gets better. He has a chum with him and he seems to be informing him that he must have some sort of Jedi-like power to move things. As he pointed at the gate, i did the open-shut thing. They are both swigging 8 Ace and looking thoroughly confused. I'm hoping to get a field of dreams type gathering of the homeless.
 
#8
PrayingMantis said:
can you live feed it to arrse? :twisted:
Sadly not. The camera he's on is the only one where the recording doesn't come out as it's a camera of no tactical importance. :x
 
#9
how can it be wrong if it's that funny? keep us up-to-date on this mate, quality!
 
#10
blackrat_scaleyback said:
Cr33p said:
Make sure you Record it and post it on youtube. Because just reading about it i am chuckling away. But to watch it preferably with sound i think i could possibly pi$$ my self with laughter
Oh it gets better. He has a chum with him and he seems to be informing him that he must have some sort of Jedi-like power to move things. As he pointed at the gate, i did the open-shut thing. They are both swigging 8 Ace and looking thoroughly confused. I'm hoping to get a field of dreams type gathering of the homeless.
I can feel a proper giggle session coming on. you NEED to get this recorded.
 
#11
blackrat_scaleyback said:
Cr33p said:
Make sure you Record it and post it on youtube. Because just reading about it i am chuckling away. But to watch it preferably with sound i think i could possibly pi$$ my self with laughter
Oh it gets better. He has a chum with him and he seems to be informing him that he must have some sort of Jedi-like power to move things. As he pointed at the gate, i did the open-shut thing. They are both swigging 8 Ace and looking thoroughly confused. I'm hoping to get a field of dreams type gathering of the homeless.
you sir are a genius
 
#12
They've nipped off for a slash by the gates of the nearby girls school. I'm off to bait the area with some fag butts to keep them there. I'll see if i can chuck a few tins of White Lightning near the bin. Wait out....
 
#13
blackrat_scaleyback said:
They've nipped off for a slash by the gates of the nearby girls school. I'm off to bait the area with some fag butts to keep them there. I'll see if i can chuck a few tins of White Lightning near the bin. Wait out....
roger that
 
#17
blackrat_scaleyback said:
The question is, am i messing with his already befuddled brain? Could this tip him over the edge? Is this wrong what i'm doing? Do any other Arrsers mess with this people in the same or a similar way?
Mental health 'issues' are the lesser reported activities of His seventh day. After a busy week He decided to chill out with a spot of mong baiting but he lacked mongs due to the perfect creation business from the previous 6 days. After a bit of DNA tweaking He managed to fill the rest of eternity with an endless supply of nutters, mentalists, dribblers and the classic pished tramp; all for His amusement. And because we were made in His image; all for our amusement.

So, back to your original question - you should definitely install the intercom. Command your tramp (by the power of 'Gate' Skull) to commit random acts of violence against fellow tramps and reward him with a place in Heaven (or a couple of cans of special brew). There has to be at least £250 in it from You've been framed and you will have the satisfying glow within from doing God's work.

Don't worry about sending him 'over the edge'. This is the fate of all 'Abode Disadvantaged' and you'll be doing him a favour by getting it over with quickly. You may be eligible for a community action award or a medal from our Liz.
 
#18
Back on. Area baited with Marlboro Lights and this gift has been accepted. They actually looked up to see if they had fallen from the sky!! I digress. Sitrep: The gates are at half mast. As my friend walks towards them i go to slide them shut. When he stops, so does the gate. He's saying something to his chum something along the lines of "See! I have the power of magnetism". They are both just looking at the moment and heartily drinking some cider.
 
#19
Oh deary me. Another hobo with a beard like a member from ZZ top is talking with my flock. The gate is now moving in a mysterious way.
 
#20
Yep - I love talking to Socialists.
 

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