Bagging a Celeb: Squaddies on T'Internet

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#1
Alright so not a squaddie per se, actually a jarhead, but the principle is the same:BBC - Newsbeat - YouTube marine gets date with Hollywood star Mila Kunis Basically, this cheeky sod appears to have ally'd himself to the max while on Ops, filmed a chat-up line to one of Hollywood's finest (and certainly one of my favourites), and managed to bag a top quality celebrity date to his Corps Ball. I reckon all you cnuts have missed a trick, because all the ensuing YouTube offers to stretch Dawn French's hoop will now become utterly passe. However, it does beg the questions: a) Who would you have targeted, and what would your YouTube one-liner have been? b) How does he now guarantee himself some post-party Kunis-loving?
 
#2
a) No idea - I know it would never work
b) I would guess rohypnol, chloroform, or a strangle-hold

Do you think she'll be getting a code red (or brown)?
 
#3
Easy. Emma Watson.

"Oi, Emma! Put a decent frock on and get yourself down to ***** for the Summer Ball. There'll be plenty of grub to throw down your neck... You never know, you might even put some weight on and grow a decent set of norks. Then when you've been plied with loads of charmingly cheap plonk, I'll take you back to me wanking chariot and give you the good news. You never know, say please and I'll even agree to smash one up your wrong 'un. Oh... If you have any younger sisters, bring them too. But be sure to form an orderly queue for noshing me off."

Don't see how she could resist.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#4
The Irish one from the Saturdays. Failing that all of the Saturdays.
 
#6
Easy. Emma Watson.

"Oi, Emma! Put a decent frock on and get yourself down to ***** for the Summer Ball. There'll be plenty of grub to throw down your neck... You never know, you might even put some weight on and grow a decent set of norks. Then when you've been plied with loads of charmingly cheap plonk, I'll take you back to me wanking chariot and give you the good news. You never know, say please and I'll even agree to smash one up your wrong 'un. Oh... If you have any younger sisters, bring them too. But be sure to form an orderly queue for noshing me off."

Don't see how she could resist.
See, you're going on about Emma Watson being fit!....I've been saying that for 10 yrs! Nothing new ;)
 
#7
I seem to recall a Sapper meeting Katie Price during OP AGRICOLA 6 in 2001 and banging her for sometime afterwards til he got sick of the celebrity lifestyle.

Perhaps some of you can also recall this and, even better, actually know the bloke?
 
#8
See, you're going on about Emma Watson being fit!....I've been saying that for 10 yrs! Nothing new ;)
Yes, but she could still do to go mad in a Ginsters outlet and lay down a layer of feminine padding.

More cushion for the push'n.

Right now, I'd probably snap her like a wishbone.
 
#10
Kate Adie's the one. Perhaps some here will remember watching her her going for a piss through their NVGs. Remarkably handsome woman, despite her years, and a chassis you could bounce a Mastiff on.
 
#13
Not quiet sure if a Hollywood star would like to come into our mess. A Yank, over-the-top, 'Gimme a Hoo-her?', 'U-S-A! ... U-S-A!' style ball is one thing, but any poor unfortunate soul coming into ours would be striped naked, babooned and made to ring the bell.
 
#15
Not quiet sure if a Hollywood star would like to come into our mess. A Yank, over-the-top, 'Gimme a Hoo-her?', 'U-S-A! ... U-S-A!' style ball is one thing, but any poor unfortunate soul coming into ours would be striped naked, babooned and made to ring the bell.
What does being "babooned" mean? Given a paper bag full of nuts? Or shot for picking dried shit out of one's arse and then eating it with lengthy fingers? Your mess sounds like a horrific place, tbh. What if she/he wanted a latte and a wee chat?
 
#16
mac uk said:
Am I the only one thinking who the hell is Mila Kunis?
This:

[video=youtube;0y6MiyPa7fA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y6MiyPa7fA[/video]
 
#17
Thought he was 2 RTR?
It was definitely a sapper and if I remember correctly she dropped the squaddie for Dwight Yorke or some such rich and high profile type... Wonder why that was eh?
 
#18
don't know if this counts,but i was once at wembley taking a pish,and jimmy hill was next to me,so i pissed all over his leather brogues.fucking cunt.
 
#19
What does being "babooned" mean? Given a paper bag full of nuts? Or shot for picking dried shit out of one's arse and then eating it with lengthy fingers? Your mess sounds like a horrific place, tbh. What if she/he wanted a latte and a wee chat?
I could be lining myself up for a Wah here, but babooning involves a long whippy thing i.e. an orange Mine Marking pole, or stable belt, and ones bare bottom cheeks.
 
#20
Not quiet sure if a Hollywood star would like to come into our mess. A Yank, over-the-top, 'Gimme a Hoo-her?', 'U-S-A! ... U-S-A!' style ball is one thing, but any poor unfortunate soul coming into ours would be striped naked, babooned and made to ring the bell.
Yes, Ben Affleck did say your mess was a bit of eye opener...
 

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