Bad things to tell your wife

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#1
Today mine was that her middle child, the one that that plays piano and fiddle had managed to dislocate her finger playing rugby.

Yes, the sport that I'd assured after the last time one of "her" children had been hurt that it was unlikely to happen again.

No, I hadn't bothered to take her to a hospital, as I had undislocated it myself!

Looks like being a quiet night in the house the night!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#4
Previous wife, wee while ago.

I finally got a posting to Hong Kong says I, oh good says she.

but it's only for 6 weeks says I, that's not too bad says she.

and it's unaccompanied, says I, She said a lot of swearing!
 
#5
Remember that posting we're going on?...........well we ain't, oh and by the way that now means we're discharged in 8 months instead of 2 years!
 
#7
When I was 34 I told mine I was fucking off with a 17 year old bint I'd met in a club. Me and the bint have been together now for 40 years, don't know (or care) where the ex-wife is. :D
 
#8
brummieboy1 said:
When I was 34 I told mine I was fucking off with a 17 year old bint I'd met in a club. Me and the bint have been together now for 40 years, don't know (or care) where the ex-wife is. :D
Good work!
 
#9
Bad things to tell your wife?

'You'd better nip off down the Doc and get some treatment for clap'

'But I don't have clap'!

'You do now'
 
#11
"Did you enjoy sex last night darling?"

"Yes, it was great"

"what were you thinking of?"

"Your sister"



Now can anyone tell me why that is the wrong thing to say??????????
 
#12
Gren said:
"Did you enjoy sex last night darling?"

"Yes, it was great"

"what were you thinking of?"

"Your sister"



Now can anyone tell me why that is the wrong thing to say??????????
The 'sister' is legs?
 

Pararegtom

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
FiveAlpha said:
Gren said:
"Did you enjoy sex last night darling?"

"Yes, it was great"

"what were you thinking of?"

"Your sister"



Now can anyone tell me why that is the wrong thing to say??????????
The 'sister' is legs?
Her sister is 14 and autistic :roll:
 

Guns

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#15
You are better in bed than all of your friends....
 
#16
I love you.

Raises too many expectations.
 
#19
No, your arrse doesn't look big in that....................








..............................it looks big in everything !!
 

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