Bad Driving

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by moosehunter, Apr 27, 2011.

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  1. Has anyone had the urge to pull over a bad driver and let them feel the sharp edge of your tongue or more?

    Or is it just road rage?

    Pikey van (complete with scrap metal on back) cut me up on dual carriageway, proceded to try and give me abuse after i flashed lights at him...then spat out of window, good shot onto my windscreen! Red mist came down at that point!

    By chance he went the same way i was going and abuse carried on going but only chance of pulling him over was just as he was driving into Pikey camp! sensed I would be on a loser if I tried it there!

    Still got steam coming out of ears at the mo....

    What is Road Rage?
  2. Why did you flash your lights at him? Didn't you know that this is illegal and you could be arrested and fined for doing it?

    Just because someone else does something that you decide is wrong does not give you the right to break the law yourself.

    The above is the reply from any/all police officers in cases of this type.

    Next time just run him off the road and set fire to him and his dog - if you can afford the petrol to start the fire of course.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. I was a boy scout once....I'd find some way of starting the fire to burn the F%&$£er....
  4. Its not illegal to flash his lights as he was merely warning the other road user of his presence.
  5. I didn't say it was right just that it was the response he would get from the fuzz..
  6. Come to sunny North Yorks, we appear to have cornered the market on boy racers. Most notably on Friday lunchtimes when they are all headed off home for the weekend.
  7. If it's any consolation I got your own back for you a couple of years ago on the A41 where it joins the north circular road, the bit where there a several sets of traffic lights where, if you catch the first set at dead on the speed limit you can do the lot on green. I owned a small security company at the time and was doing the rounds of sites at about 2 in the morning in my unmarked little hatchback. I was cut up by some cunts in a golf who did all the usual finger waving and shouting so I gave them the finger. As they were going too fast they got stopped by the next set of lights and as I passed them when the lights changed they got all stroppy and swerved past me making invitations for me to stop. Like I fucking would, there were four of them in their car. I lost sight of them but bugger me ten minutes later at another set of (red) lights the twats pulled up alongside me. One of them jumped out and gave forth with some abuse and invited me out to join him in the street. Knowing what would happen next I wound the window down and my dog, Skye, a hulk of a GSD long coat (and I mean he was bloody big for a GSD) woke up in the back of the car. I released the hatch to his cage and he knew what that meant, we had practised for the time when I might need him in a hurry. The bloke tried to reach into my car and grab me egged on by his mates. Sky launched himself at the window and tried to take the blokes face off. I stopped him going through the window by grabbing his collar. There was quite a bit of blood and the bloke was in shock as he just stood there holding his face. The lights had been green for some moments and I drove away with Skye screaming his own kind of abuse. They didn't follow me but I expected a visit from the police for months afterwards, which never came.
    • Like Like x 25
  8. Bad driving grips my shit. But there are slightly better ways of doing it that flying into a rage and trying to ram them off the road - although I'd like to do that.

    You always get the cunts who hammer down the fast lane and cut in front of you to get off the exit lane on a dual carriage way or motorway. When I see the turd nugget in my side mirror I always speed up, or slow down slightly, just to annoy them and watch them panic trying to squeeze in between two artics. Cunts.

    Same as fuckers who tailgate you. Wang the windscreen washers on - especially if they're in a convertable. Or gently drift over towards the central reservation and spray them with all the crud that gathers there. Cunts.
    • Like Like x 2
  9. I was following a taxi the other day, and it braked suddenly on a 40 road to 0.

    "Must be something up", I thought... No! He wanted a chat with a mate of his. They were smiling away, having a right old natter. I couldn't overtake as the traffic on the other side was pretty heavy. So I blasted him with my horn and he moved out of the way. As I overtook him, he dived back into the traffic and up behind me, and followed me the three of so miles it took to get home. As I pulled up, I jumped straight out of the car, and let my two dogs out of the back. The bastard thought better of it and buggered off sharpish.
  10. A few years ago (sure I posted this before somewhere) I was in UK on leave in my BFG registered LHD car. It was a hot day and of course I didn't have air-con (this was the early 90's ffs) I was in a traffic jam on the motorway with the window wound down. I was cut up by some middle aged twat (I think he was driving a rover) similar aged woman next to him (knitting) and two teenager in the back. I ended up level with him, leant over and (in my bestest poshest voice) said something like " You Sir, You drive you have an incredibly tiny penis"
    The woman next to him didn't even look up and said "he knows you awfully well dear" while the kids in the back almost pissed themselves. His face went redder than a red thing, and I felt no stress whatsoever. Very theraputic.

    A few years later my gf of the time was worried that her little brother (who had just passed his test) was driving like an utter cnut. She was right, he was. I took a copy of Bizarre mag round and casually read out parts of it, and just slipped in .... "oh, it says here that research shows that 98% of drivers who exceed the speed limit have an undersized penis....and 50% of them show signs of homosexuality....

    It worked for a while, then a mate of his smashed a car into a tree (survived - the tree that is) and that had an even bigger effect.
  11. This isn't about bad driving but it involves cars. Well my car and a transit van with no tax disc. I had just come back from a mornings pheasant shooting and called in at a local filling station. On the other side of my pump was the tranny van and in the passengers seat was a stunning bird. Stunning. I gave her the eye. She smiled. I winked. She winked back. I hadn't thought I was being set up by the bird and was about to ask for her phone number when the driver of the tranny came back from paying at the kiosk. A pikey. I then noticed the lack of tax disc on the tranny. He leaned through the pumps and said "that's my woman you are chatting up". I replied that he was a very lucky guy. But he was getting stroppy and wanted to push me into a fight - and he looked quite handy. I had a brainwave. As he came to the back of my car I opened the boot and there was my 12 gauge Remington pump action lying innocently on top of its case (to air, it had been a damp morning). I looked him in the eye and with a confidence I didn't feel, growled at him: "If you don't fuck off and take your bird with you I'll do both of yers knee caps". He just stared at me for a minute and then fucked off. Phew!
    • Like Like x 2
  12. One of the biggest deterrants to driving fast for me upon passing my test was the sheer amount of people/mates who had been killed in car accidents the number was stupid. In one week 7 people had accidents which proves two things

    a) Drive safely

    b) People in Norfolk cannot drive
  13. It's the extra fingers you guys have,plays havoc trying to grip the steering wheel.:)
  14. Hey im not from there, I just had to endure living there.

    One incident of someone we knew pulling out in front of me whist I was learning. As they stopped with their nose out and I was swerving round , Mother dearest was firing on both barrels they couldn't hear the abuse but by the looks on their faces they could feel it.
  15. Latest edition Ford model T chap, Now Cromer isn't seen as a foreign holiday anymore.