Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Norfolknchance, Jan 21, 2010.

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  1. Have you ever used a chat-up line to your intended victim/object of lust that the moment you said it, you wish a great big hole would swallow you up?

    A few years ago, I was taking portrait photos of 6 girls (19 & 20 year-olds) and when I came to the 5th, she asked if she would look beautiful in the picture.

    I said without thinking; "Love, it's a camera, not a magic wand!" Oops. :oops:

    I suppose a blow-job's out of the question then? :?
  2. Managed to actually twig onto a lass with the old "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

    I bought her a drink approached the target handed it to her and popped above question! She new what chloroform was and found it funny, couldn't believe it! Didn't work well enough though only got her number and a kiss, wish she was a slag.
  3. PTI Course, mid 90's - we got one of the Gurkhas on the course to approach a rather horizontal lady in Cheeks (I think it was called the Rhythym Station at the time?) with the line "How pet, ye divven sweat much for a fat lass".

    Didn't work though - he just got a rather blank look. So my Geordie mate went over and explained it to her, at which point she decked him. Hence 'Phil' became known as 'Din'.
  4. That made me lol.
  5. On visiting Northampton on a Monday years ago, I was out with my boss drinking in a pub when we asked the 2 growlers in the bar where all the action took place on a Monday in this town. Invited to accompany Towser and her mate Lassie to the local night club where we were half the punters. Anyway, I'm doing well with Lassie on the dance floor when Towser comes up, whispers something in her ear and they both fukk off at the high port.

    So I went up to my boss and asked him what the score was. He said that he'd just asked his bint whether she was willing to "go that extra mile" before he wasted money buying her drinks! Cheers mate!
  6. The best chat up line ever, random guy in nightclub approaches one of my mates looks her up and down and says.......

    "You'll do, fancy a drink?"
  7. Ah, the height of romanticism ... :D

    A friend of mine from uni "Erm, you're gorgeous. Any chance of a sh@g?"
  8. Me - "Fancy a drink love?"

    Her - "From you?? You must be joking!!"

    Me - "I think you mis-heard me, what i said was, you look fucking fat in that dress" :D
  9. One of my favourites "alright luv, have you got any good looking mate"? (yes) "would you mind firkin off then so I can talk to them"
  10. A mate of mine told me that a woman he was trying to chat up mentioned that she liked ice cream. Sensing a conversational opening he then went to ask her if she liked the new ice cream Mars Bars, but instead it came out as “Oh, do you like mice cream arrse bars?!”

    Don’t know if he made this up or not, but I hope it’s true :lol:
  11. "I suppose a goodbye fock is out of the question?"

    Very hit and miss, 10 per cent sucess rate.
  12. Bloke.. "Do you know that your knickers are coming down?

    Girl, looking down..."No they're not." Bloke.."Wanna bet" :p

    Used to work quite well and was never embarrassed.
  13. Taxi driver picks up a pretty young woman.
    He says; how nice, a pregnant woman as a customer.
    She replies; but I'm not preggers!
    Taxi driver: but you're not home yet either!
  14. " i think you're the most beautiful girl at this party tonight" :oops: it worked

    and my personal favourite, on meeting a female TA officer: "Fuck me, they'll commission anyone these days"
  15. My mate once told this lass "Your eyes shine like surf kissed pebbles on a moonlit beach" and pulled her whilst I was busy retching. Oddly enough, it never once worked for me. Must've been my accent.............................. :roll: