Bacon tree

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by TheOleFice, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says ...

    "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees a bacon, I theenk."

    "Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon."

    With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

    There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

    "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

    "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

    "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon ... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

    And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly there is a gunshot and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

    "Pepe ... go back amigo, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

    "Luis, Luis mi compadre ... what ees it?"

    "Pepe .. ees not a bacon tree. Ees,




    Ees a ham bush ..."

    So sorry. I know there is something wrong with me for posting this. Just couldnt help it!

    The little voices made me do it ... and I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you ... I know you did!
  2. Terrible - but it did make me chuckle...