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when will the government learn  even my my grandad and dad says "never trust the french/germans"  if they knew it for years and me included i would sh*g their women but  would marry i them? would i fook!

they will stab you in the back if it will do them any good , look at falklands the frogs supplied software to fire the exocet missiles even when they promised not to :mad:, WW2 they insisted on being the first troop into paris even tho we ( US, UK and the commonwealth) did all the fooking hard work  :mad: , gulf war 1 the frogs wanted us to stop short of bumping saddam off cos they saw reconstruction money opportunities, BEEF ! ban even tho it was cleared .buring british sheeps, disinterested police if u ever need their help and the list goes on and on

put it simply  I HATE THE FUKING FROGS
Nothing wrong with the French so long as one remembers their basic principles.

Napolean won Waterloo

It is worse to win with the Brits than lose to the Germans

Napolean won Waterloo

Vichy was an intelligent move

Napolean won Waterloo

If Iraq loses everyone might find out who supplied the nuclear technology

Napolean won Waterloo

When Iraq loses we will be able to say we were against the war and pick up lots of nice contracts

Napolean won Waterloo

It is no disgrace to lose to the Germans sp long as we can set up a government in Vichy and con the boxheads into doing what we want them to

Napolean won Waterloo
I've heard it said "that there is nothing wrong with the French that genocide can't cure".  

[For any PC Thought Police viewing this post - "It is a joke!"]


we spent years fighting the french from agincourt to waterloo. the hartlepool monkey is a good example of our 'special relationship' !! since 1914 we have shed blood,sweat and the priceless good mens lives looking after them and what have they done for us? CAP, Beef,'money' seekers etc etc. when will we ever learn?

PS remember World Cup 98? footy fans beaten up for been english?


I agree with all of the above. There sense of own importance is way beyond the actual. They over inflate there national pride to compensate for numerous defeats over the years.

They think there the most intelectual people in the world simply because they can knock you up a nice desert. I say the rest of the world should say **** em.


It seems funny , the French could Not kick the Germans out quick enough in the 40s but now they are Welcoming them with open arms, TYPICAL FRENCH ?


War Hero
Quote put it simply  I HATE THE FUKING FROG Unquote.

Yes Ditto to the above, they where really good at fighting the Britsh and Americans in WW2 but a hands up job the the germans and the japs.

Pretty good at changing sides when the allies were going to win

Two faced slimey bastards.



They think there the most intelectual people in the world simply because they can knock you up a nice desert. I say the rest of the world should say **** em.

Desert?  A Freudian slip there I think!


It`s all academic anyway. I live here in Holland and the patriot missiles in question left for Turkey on Friday so screw the French :p. At least the cloggies are showing some mettle anyway. 8)


Never mind Saddam, we all know who the enemy is!


I see the plan to reinforce Turkey got through-via the NATO planning comittee-which the vile Garlic reeking , amphibian scoffing, inventors of the squat toilet do not sit on (the comitte not the toilet).  the remaining opposition in the shape of Belgium crumbled just like they did in the last 2 wars.  bet the Belgies won't flog us ammo in this GW either.


well in a fit of pique the belgian wont supply us with chocolate in our ration pack  :p
Complete Military History of France

Gallic Wars - Lost.
In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history,
France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost.
saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First
Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by
a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost.
France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when
fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion
France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

Thirty Years War
France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway.
Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started
ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied.
Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost.
But claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the
world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost.
The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they
have loved every since.

American Revolution
In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims
a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later
known as the "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French
Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won.
Primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost.
Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!)...due to leadership of a
Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost.
Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home
alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied.
And on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of
French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but
one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by
American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost.
Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they
finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost.
French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

Algerian Rebellion - Lost.
Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force
since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can
always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the
Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and

War on Terrorism - France
keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just
to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he
takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not
be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an
accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."
I say flood the Channel Tunnel, close Dover Docks and stop pretending that weekend visits to a tall metal phalic symbol and a bunch of dreary paintings is romantic. Now that even Argentina can make half decent and cheaper wine we just need to find a good source of champagne and the Frogs can go screw themselves :mad:  But then they would probably cock that up.


Just received this by email, its a cracker....


France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent Of Europe.  

It is an important member of the world community, though   not nearly as important as it thinks.

It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and some  smaller nations of no particular importance and with not very good shopping.  

France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre and Euro Disney.  

Among its contributions to western civiliZation are champagne, Camembert cheese and the guillotine.  

Although France likes to think of itself as a modern nation, air conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible for Americans to get decent Mexican food.

One continuing exasperation for American visitors is that local people insist on speaking in French, though many will speak English if shouted at.  

Watch your money at all times.  

France has a population of 57 million people. 52 million of these drink and smoke (the other 5 million are small children).

All French people drive like lunatics, are dangerously over sexed, and have no concept of standing patiently in line.

The French people are in general gloomy, temperamental, proud, arrogant, aloof and   disciplined; those are their good points.  

Most French citizens are Roman Catholic, though you would hardly guess it from their behavior.  

Many French are communists.  

Men sometimes have girls' names like Marie or Michel, and they kiss each other when they meet.  

American travelers are advised to travel in groups and wear baseball caps and colorful trousers for easier recognition.

In general, France is a safe destination, although travelers must be aware that from time to time it is invaded by Germany.

Traditionally, the French surrender immediately.

A tunnel connecting France to Britain beneath the English Channel has been opened in recent years to make it easier for the French government to flee to London during future German invasions, and for them to offload all their illegal immigrants.  

Charlemagne discovered France in the Dark Ages.

Other important historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques Cousteau and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is now an airport.

The French form of government is democratic but noisy. Parliament's principal occupation is setting off atomic bombs in the South Pacific and acting indignant and surprised when other countries complain.  
According to the most current American State department  intelligence, the President is now someone named Jacques. Further information is not available at this time.  

The French pride themselves on their culture, though it is not easy to see why. All their music sounds the same and they have never made a movie that you would want to watch for anything but the nude scenes.  

Let's face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just a slug with a shell on its back.

Croissants on the other hand, are excellent, although it is impossible for most Americans to pronounce this word. In general, travelers are advised to stick to cheeseburgers.  

France has a large and diversified economy, second only to Germany's in Europe, which is surprising because the French hardly work at all.  

If they are not spending four hours dawdling over  lunch, they are on strike and blocking the roads with their trucks and tractors. France's principal exports, in order of importance to the economy, are wine, nuclear weapons, perfume, guided missiles, champagne, guns, grenade launchers, land mines, tanks, attack aircraft, miscellaneous armaments and cheese.

France has more holidays than any other nation in the world. Among It's 361 national holidays are: 197 Saints' days, 37 National Liberation Days, 16 Declaration of Republic Days, 54 Return of Charles de Gaulle-in-triumph-as-if-he-won-the-war-single-handed Days, 18 Napoleon-sent-into-Exile-Days, 17 Napoleon-Called-Back-from-Exile-Days, and 2 "France is Great and the Rest of the World Stinks" Days.  

At least it's not Germany.


I have not been on this web site for very long but I must offer congrat's on the superb letter you posted called The Americans Guide to France. ;D ;D



thank you, wish that I could take the credit for writing it. Where would we all be without email at work to keep us out of mischief ;D

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