Ba stard Tax Man

#1
This morning I had a tax bill land on my mat from the Inland RobYou...for £5,000!!!!

I promptly told my ex who demanded I think of 3 things I can do to get the money and present to him later!

I am presuming he said this tongue in cheek and won't mind the ridiculous answers I shall give......

....any ideas?
 
#5
can't - he wrote it off the other day!

I was thinking more along the lines of piss ing on someone freak...aren't there some sickos that pay for that?

At least then I don't have to sleep with anyone (cos at 50p a go - I would die trying)
 
#8
Moodybitch said:
....any ideas?
Climb in your oven, turn to gas mark 6 and wait until welldone/Simon Weston, shave your head, get your third Nork out on display then go begging as a victim from Chynobyl.... :D
 
#9
I'll share some fruit pastills with you. You won't even have to p1ss on me.

I once knew a 'non specific member of the armed forces and definitely not a rupert' who said she'd let someone sh1t on her if they paid £500. "Not in the mouth or anything though" you understand 8O

Gutted, couldn't afford £500 at the time.
 
#10
Sloppy accountancy MB lol, I paid 200 quid, bargain, what a badly paid man I am, mind you its not been the weather for landscape gardening this year lmao times are hard and all that re-investment, went down a storm, just a good job I have a readily available receipt source !
How much you gonna charge for a golden shower than babe, I may have some pennies i need to get shifted from my lads savings account come next month

:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#12
RTFQ said:
I'll share some fruit pastills with you. You won't even have to p1ss on me.

I once knew a 'non specific member of the armed forces and definitely not a rupert' who said she'd let someone sh1t on her if they paid £500. "Not in the mouth or anything though" you understand 8O

Gutted, couldn't afford £500 at the time.
I'm disgusted by your pusillanimity, RTFQ. Once you've trapped, and provided you haven't set your heart on a long-term affaire de coueur, then taking a dump on a bird is free: it's just you only get to do it once :D

And, adding this as an afterthought: she probably isn't going to tell anyone either :D
 
#13
Had a mate who gave a QA a golden shower once, problem was he was sleep walking in a drunken stuper at the time and she was asleep in bed. She was not amussed and threw him out of the block and his clothes out the window. It was about minus 3 with 6" of snow on the ground.

Laugh I nearly helped him to the Med centre with hypothermia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :twisted:
D.D.
 
#14
right thats settled, put the word out...girl available for sicko tw@ts who want to be pissed on. Cost £5,000

Or

Can do groups and split the cost. No more than 5 thogh cos it will be dead hard to waddle along anymore than 5 blokes and i may well run out of pi ss
 
#15
Five grand, jeez where does a man need to go for service nowadays, im not a charity lol . Ok back to Lycos I reckon bound to be some bargains to be had!
The day I get a 5 grand tax bill will be when I have sold the business to someone else!
 
#16
Right MB here's the score.

I went down nelsons (under Emmas night club!) and found 20 willing punters, all Sailors of a sort and all willing to pay £200 each. I had to show them your piccie from the gallery and that got them interested.

here's what they want

x1 fisting
x4 watersports
x5 handjobs
x5 BJs
x1 full on intercourse
x1 you and his missus :twisted:
x1 you and his dog 8O
x2 spit roast

So there you go, how's that sound. Your bladder doesn't have to do too much but you may be in a state afterwards. Still the tax bill will be reduced-ish
 
#18
Moodybint said:
-but for £5,000 i would
Why don't you try and sell the vicious, car-murdering bloke on eBay? 1 careful lady owner, well serviced, full MOT, taxed until last week, new rubber on each corner, electric accessory pack available... :lol:

But then again, it may fall foul of the Trade Descriptions Act :wink:

:D :D :D
 
#19
Just found out I am due a tax rebate soon, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement here MB......let me see, you, a rubber suit, S10 respirator, some incontinence pads, of course some KY jelly and 3 donkeys.

Of course if the money isn't much, I'll reduce the use of the donkeys accordingly :twisted: