BA (Hons) qualification in Football!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fltpilot, Nov 5, 2010.

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  1. Burnley is to become the first football club in the country to offer a degree in football.
    Students will spend three years studying for the BA (Hons) qualification, with lectures being delivered in the Jimmy McIlroy and James Hargreaves stands at Turf Moor.

    The course - a unique venture for a sports club in the UK - will cover topics including football finance, football law, stadium building and management, and dealing with commercialism in the game.
  2. X59

    X59 LE

    I look forward to those graduates serving up my Big Mac and fries.
  3. Hey, it's what the market demands. And we all know the market can never, ever be wrong. We all know that it's the most super-dooper everest way to allocate scarce resources.

    Don't we?
  4. £9k a year for that?
  5. I am still chuckleing about turning the worse state schools in to privately financed 'academies'.... rather than the government actually 'doing' something about them being so bad.
  6. Education's been a political football for years, might as well be open about it.
  7. You're absolutely right, despite the dripping sarcasm. When tuition fees go up to £9k a year and taxpayers' money no longer supports my fellow feckwits through the system, where do you think Wayne McScum's going to find the cash to pay for this course?

    Nice headline-grabbing stunt but doomed to failure from the off. More fool whoever's backing it.
  8. A fool and his money are soon parted. The one thing I've learned in my time is that there is no shortage of rich idiots willing to pay for subjects with no immediate application while nationally-vital subjects like science and engineering can go hang. Whither English Literature versus Chemistry?
  9. A BA (Hons) in football FFS. Curriculum will be something along the lines of:

    Honing the skills on how to behave like a fucking pansy as soon as there's any physical contact involved (maximum amount of time spent on the turf wriggling around like an epileptic will bump the overall grade up significantly).

    Perfecting the art of acting like a bigtime twat in public (and getting dropped by some ordinary punter into the bargain).

    Driving a supercar extremely badly, only to end up either nicked by Old Bill or end up upside down in some Cheshire farmer's field.

    Skills in how to fob the missus off when asked the question 'Well, did you sleep with that slag or not?'

    How to play like your pants are on fire for your club, but perform like a fucking spastic for your country.

    How to invidualise your fashion wardrobe and still end up looking like a fucking homo, whilst sporting a hairdo that makes you look like an extra from Corrie.

    And finally, the art of perfecting doing the bare minimum for the maximum amount of cash.
  10. What about winning back WAG with obvious self-esteem issues with a gaudy bracelet, a boob job and a plush holiday.... oh, and an alledged fortune spent on kiddies birthday party?

    You can't really fault that, sorry I shagged that prozzy love, here smarten yourself up with a boobjob. Then I wont stray :D
  11. And they're probably looking forward to you emptying their bins.
  12. I see nothing wrong with it, very useful to have a degree in football when applying for a job as a Civil Engineer.

    Shortly, my new company, Bonkers Conkers Ltd, will be offering a BA course in Conkers Management & Gamesmanship. This will cover everything from how to select and prepare the best conker, right up to the finer points of undetectable cheating including how to surreptitiously maim your opponent if badly losing and how to comply with the H&S regs including the best crash helmet, safety goggles and gauntlets (which must be purchased from me, er, the company)

    You get that lot in my, er, our special one day course, from 1100hrs until 1400hrs, inc 5 minute test and diploma presentation by somebody. All for the amazingly low fee of £5,000, which unbelievably also includes a packed lunch and bottle of tap water.
  13. While studying for an in-house advanced diploma in burger flipping BBC NEWS | Education | McDonald's serves up 'Diplomas'

    Part of the time spent preparing sixth formers for university should involve sitting them down in front of a stack of job ads and explaining exactly what the phrase "good degree from a traditional university" actually means. A sporting third in Wayne Rooney Studies from The University of Manchester (United) will get them nothing that 2 Ds and an E at A-level wont get them. Except a debt the size of a mortgage that lands on them the day after graduation.
  14. I'm sure that the qualifiication will be right up with Tracy Emin's art degree...