BA @ Heathrow

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by crabtastic, Aug 20, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. BA

  2. Virgin

  3. BMI

  4. Quantas

  5. Air New Zealand

  6. The Spam Airlines (AA, United, Delta etc.)

  7. Easy Jet

  8. Crab Air

  1. Have just endured a an 11 hour trip from London to LA with British Airways and have come to the conclusion that they have either a) binned all those that went on strike last week and replaced them with Crab Air movers or b) a BA fact-finding team has been to Brize and decided to adopt their business strategy. Imagine having to fly from Brize and paying £800 for the honour of doing so.

    Now I know that the problem with Gate Gourmet is still on going, and immediately the 'light refreshments' served in a box which was to sustain me for the next 12 hours immediately gave me VC-10/Herc flashbacks, but that is not the source of my consternation (even though like the JRM lunch boxes, the food was shite).

    My real problem is what a bunch of jobsworth, wooden-top cnuts the groundstaff in terminal 1 were. They fcuked me about from the moment I pulled up. Had to trog around for 10 mins just to find a trolley, since the trolley-mongs were too preoccupied picking each other's arrses to put them where people need them.

    I was then was kept hanging around in the check-in hall for 90 minutes ("Come back in an hour", then, one hour later "come back in 30mins") because no-one wanted to check in my luggage. During this time I got chatting to an elderly American couple who had just flown in overnight from Florida, waiting for a connecting flight to Frankfurt, who had to wait for for 7 hours, unable to get a seat or something to eat or drink because they couldn't take their luggage into the restaurants.

    Once I was graciously allowed to check in my baggage, I was told that a 29kg PLCE bergan was considered outsized luggage, and I (not a trolley-mong) had to cart it all around the terminal building until I found the right check-in desk. After checking it all in I was told to wait by an East-European immigrant with only the scantest grasp of the English language. I dutifully did this for a further 10 minutes for no discernable reason until she saw fit to return my boarding pass.

    After passing through the passport control I then discovered that the voucher they gave me, when combined with an extra 15p from my pocket, bought me a sandwich and an orange juice from Pret a Manger. I asked the guy on the BA customer services desk in the departure lounge if he would be so kind as to give the customer services director a swift kick in the crotch and made my way to the gate.

    The final coup de grace came when, instead of boarding the 400+ passenger Boeing 747 in sections like every other airline in the world does, the staff at the gate decided it would be much more fun and efficient to have 400 people, including fat Spams with tea chests as carry-on luggage, screaming children and doddery coffin dodgers etc. simultaneously charging to get to their seat and stow their gear using only two aisles some 18 inches wide. The jet was 20mins late getting the doors closed because of this and then we had to sit on board for another 25mins because we lost our takeoff slot.

    Moral of the story, boycott BA. They have no business being our flag carrier and are a national disgrace. Let the marketplace do it's thing and help give those t0ssers their P45s or instead prompt them to get their heads out of their arrses. In the meantime, if you're flying Stateside, fly Virgin (their stews are fitter and they have better toys on the a/c anyway).

    Rant over. Cnuts.

    (Edited for typos)
  2. If you think they are bad, try NotSoEasyjet, bunch of Cunts.
  3. True, but what truly grips mt sh1t is that you don't fork out the better part of a grand to fly with EasyJet.
  4. I can only agree with Crabtastic, every time I see Roy Eddington on the telly pretending he's well 'ard and turning the business around I wish the torture of BA Economy (ooops, "World Traveller") on him for a long haul flight on the Fred Carno operation he's running. In fact, he's let the Union dinosaurs kick him all over the shop whilst service gets poorer and poorer.

    Having worked at Heathrow I can confirm the culture of jobs for the boys, Spanish practices that would make a Marbella estate agent blush and downright laziness amongst the people that work there. This is only compounded by the fact that their bosses are also choppers of the highest order; an (air)ship of fools indeed.

    I now fly as infrequently as I can, never by budget airline (why do you think, for example, Ryanair bases itself for registration in Dublin when it is based in Stanstead? That's right, they don't like UK air safety regulations) and only with BA as a last resort.

    Anything further than Rome, Berlin or anything West over The Pond and I'm flying Virgin thanks very much. Virgin, coming as it did from a retail culture of customer service, ain't perfect but they try better than the others. And, yes, their hosties are much better looking.

    BA can stick their club card and air miles up their collective arrses as far as I'm concerned. With the jobsworth security, bovine ground staff, sh1t customer service and fifteen quid for a sandwich made of a monk's flip-flop all I can say is that modern air travel really is the lowest circle of hell.

    I am driving to Italy for my holiday this autumn, BTW.

  5. Driving = More for your moolah as you get to see other countries en-route (as opposed to at 40,000ft)

    How do air regs in Eire vary from over here?
  6. I recently travelled from terminal 4 (not with BA)... check in was delayed for various reasons. My problem is the lack of facilities on the check in side of the airport. Very few seats and no real choice for refreshments. After 2 1/2 hours my kids and wife were all for giving up and going home.
    Eventually got off to the sun and had a great holiday.
    It would appear that the BAA assume that everybody turns up and checks in and goes straight thru to departures.
  7. V, I'm sorry but you're talking b0llocks with that comment. Air safety regulations are at the same standard in Ireland as they are in the UK. I know this because I was an aircraft engineer in a former life. I agree with everything else you said though. I will never fly BA or Air France as those cnuts decide to lose your baggage for fun. One airline that I think is absolutely fantastic is Emirates. 3 strikes in 3 years at BA. I'm sorry but if BA decided tomorrow to fire all the cnuts who staged an illegal strike over something that was none of their concern then I think none of the public would give 2 sh1ts about those cretins. They would deserve it.

    Kolya-they don't differ.
  8. Not sure of the precise details, and Ryanair furiously deny it. It has something to do with cost, i.e. in Eire some of the gold-plating of EU safety standards is interpreted differently (and more cheaply) than it is in the UK. What grips my sh1t is that Ryanair denied their op. was run from Stanstead. Yeah, right. This was a few years back, not sure of what the SP is now but I still don't trust budget airlines.

    Yep, they need people to go airside to wander around the fcuking shops, which is now the primary purpose of modern airports, even more so that flights. The "retail experience" is vitally important (why do you think they artificially kept "Duty Free" for EU flights?) and if they made comfortable, happy, cheap and convenient facilities for you and your family you wouldn't be wandering around Hackett/ Accssorize/ Dixons/ etc. being hassled to buy stuff by the kids or out of sheer boredom. Go to T3 or T4 and tell me I'm wrong.

    They say familiarity breeds contempt; my twelve months at HAL are a case in point.

  9. I'm pretty sure on this. It isn't safety per se, it's the interpretation of regulations and cost. It was a pretty big story at the time. So it wasn't an engineering issue, it was an admin issue.
  10. There is no difference at all. They're based in Ireland for tax reasons as they pay slightly less tax on profits in ireland. I don't like ryanair-they're one of the worst airlines going when it comes to ripping off passengers.
  11. So why was the story alleging safety issues? I'm not making it up; only quoting what was at the time a big deal in civil aviation circles.
  12. I don't know but I do know one thing for certain-there are NO differences between UK and Irish Air Safety Regulations.
  13. British and French regulations on food hygiene are identical under EU law. Who do you think is the most stringent in applying them?

    Well let's not de-rail the thread further as long as we can agree that Ryanair are shite :D
  14. Flying to Frankfurt, BA from Heathrow. Planned to be there about an hour before the girlfriend flies in from Tallinn, Estonia via Amsterdam.

    Arrive 45mins after she did because the idiot BAA ground staff put a wrong bag on our plane. With no appologies or explanations it cost me twice what it cost her and took longer without a transfer.

    BA does not stand for British Airways it stands for BUGGER ALL
  15. Uncle pomps says always fly VS stateside..... never turns right when flying on the firms money either... agrees with the nicer TD statement too! Sick of faggy BA stuards griveling in club. Cnuts.
    Just canceled my BA tickets to EDI in Nov... now going BMI. FFS!