B & Q

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by hallveg, May 20, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I've just bought a new place, so by requirement I’m spending a lot of time in B & Q.
    By way of explaining my story, have this.
    One bloke spend five minutes looking at a monitor tutting and saying how “slow the system was today”, then whilst distracted by another customer, I had a quick gander, he hadn’t clicked OK, I clicked it and up comes the order I’d put in (the reason for me being in the store today).
    It’s full of gormless useless cunts.
    That is all.
  2. if youre over sixty buy your stuff on a wednesday and get 10% off
  3. Did you make the mistake of ordering it all at the customer service desk?

    You will get a better result doing it through the showrooms section or the trade counter.
  4. You'd think a DIY store would attract the real cream of the intellectual crop, wouldn't you?
    • Like Like x 5
  5. Even a stupid twat would shine in this store, I'm not talking run of the mill daft I'm talking mongish thick, without the icecream.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Make up some bogus company name and get yourself a trade card, feck all checks get done ;-)
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Bodgit & Quit - the home of the true DIY officianado. Wickes is far better in my limited experience in these matters.
  8. The service desk is populated by former supermarket employees so they are not always the brightest but they are very good at grassing up other members of staff to try and get promoted to supervisor.

    The actual departments will have one or two people employed because they actually know what they are talking about.
  9. Hmm that set up sounds familiar.
  10. Get a screwfix catalogue you'll save a fortune and the kit is robust.

    For your other supplies use a builders merchant. If you live in a big enough town/city you can go more specific for your supplies to make it cheaper.

    Plumb centre for your plumbing supplies,
    Howdens for your kitchen units and joinery requirements.
    Timber merchants for your specific timber needs - these especially save you a fortune and time. Nothing more annoying than needing 9ft of skirting and B&Q only sell it in 12ft lengths, better yet is when you get the fucker home and find its warped because B&Q don't look after its stock very well.
    • Like Like x 6
  11. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    get a Toolstation catalogue, they are cheaper than screwfix and if your order is more than ten quid, Toolstation deliver free.
  12. I hate to break this to you but Screwfix are the same company as B&Q and are soon to be the new brand image for B&Q trade counters.

    They pay peanuts and employ supermarket mongs as managers also.

    There is no escaping the evil empire of mongdom.

    Stick with merchants, of the lot you have mentioned Plumb Center and all the other Wolseley brands tend to be the best big chain that covers all the bases, if they stock it or sell it in another part of the company you can order it through almost any branch that deals in timber, civils, plumbing etc etc, they can get you bathroom kit as well even if it's not their specialty at that branch.

    B&Q skirting warps as it's shit white wood and not redwood, you could turn it a dozen times a day in the rack and it will still look like Joey Deacon stood to attention.

    For kitchens Wickes and Magnet tend to be a winner as they stock the same kit, the parent company of Magnet supplies Wickes you see.

    If you want tools go through Toolbank/Clemson, they supply almost everyone and you can get hold of most stuff on the next day delivery.
  13. Magnet? Consistently in the bottom 10% of reviews for workmanship. Wickes? Overpriced tat with very little choice. B&Q? Nice, elderly gentlemen to greet you and give you advice, generally ex-chippies, brickies or whatever. Spoilt when you get the mongs on the checkout desk and the so-called customer service desks. I think they were all trained at the NAAFI staff school of customer relations. The Kingfisher group (who own B&Q) also have outlets in Spain called the Brico Depot. Same type of people on the tills so they obviously train them in the same place.
  14. Having seen the recent B&Q efforts I can assure you that the quality is shit, Wickes and Magnet kit is much improved of late.

    As for the "nice elderly gents" that they employ I can assure you that a supervisor or manager will always take the hump at someone knowing more about a subject than they do and do their very best to have them sacked for gross misconduct, they will do this 2 or 3 times a year until the "nice elderly gents" get fed up with being treated like shit and decide to leave.
  15. Forget B & Q, you should see what carpet right charges!