Aww what a shame. Hes such a nice shopkeeper too....

#3
Let me guess. <Presses hands ritually to head in order to summon The Gift>

Employee. Harrods. 'No, Mr Fayed'. Sex pest.

<Slumps in chair as post-clairvoyance exhaustion sets in>

Unfortunately, the phrase 'fifteen-stretch' was not forthcoming from beyond the veil.
 
#4
He'll blame this on the fact that the Royal Family don't like him, just like he did when he couldn't get a British pasport.
 
#5
Where were the 'gun club' staff when you need them?
 
#6
"But she looked so much like Diana - and besides, in my country, if she's old enough to bleed ... "
 
#10
He's a tw_at and with a little luck will be on the recieving end in the Scrubs in due course..........

.............bet he bleats like a stuck pig
 
#11
It's all a big conspiracy by the Duke of Edinburgh and the British Secret Service that he may well have been caught up to his nuts in some underage guts. Allegedly.
 

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