AWOL/desertion advice please

#1
I have looked at some AWOL topics on here and the replies... so basically I get the gist of the general feeling towards soldiers who are awol. But as I have looked and looked around the internet and can't seem to find any official guidelines or policy I am going to ask you guys.

I am not the offender, I am his girlfriend. I wasn't with him when he was in the army or when he left. So please don't flame me.

So. My bf was in the army for four years and went AWOL nearly 4 years ago. I think he had a couple of brief AWOL periods for which he a spent brief spells in a military jail before finally going properly AWOL and not going back.

His reasons for AWOL are simply that he's a muppet. He was an alcoholic and basically went on one bender too many. No other excuses like running away from Iraq, just a case of digging himself a hole that just got deeper and deeper and the longer time went by the less likely it was he was going to to back.

He seems to think that after four years the army stop looking for you and you are dishonourably discharged and that is that. However from what I've read on here there doesn't seem to be a hard and fast rule about this? Is this the case, or will he forever be on a list of AWOLs/deserters?

He misses the army, but I don't think he wants to, nor expects to, be taken back. So what would happen if he contacts them now? I know all his medals and some personal items were left behind, but I assume these will have been binned?

The other thing I don't get is that he has a working bank account and various other things like a passport that would make him pretty easy to trace (he has an unusual name). I thought I had read you couldn't get a bank account etc if you are AWOL?

As I know nothing about army life I am simply looking for some guidance/reassurance on this. He has been sober for two years now, we've only been together one year but if I want a future with him I'd like to know if he could end up in jail or be stopped from doing things like getting a mortgage in the future.

Thanks for any constructive help you can give me on this.
 
#2
If you've read the other threads then you'll know the range of answers you are going to get.

a. get him to hand himself in
b. phone the police and bubble him
c. bin him
d. phone the confidential help line (which I'm too lazy to look for)
e. kill him

(or a combination of the above)
 
#3
Carys said:
I wasn't with him when he was in the army or when he left. So please don't flame me.
Perhaps he's walting it. Do you have any evidence at all that he was in the Army?
 
#4
Yes, his mum/brother/best friend have all confirmed it.

So there's no such thing as this four years then it's written off with a dd?

And this confidential helpline would be, er, helpful.
 
#5
Carys said:
Yes, his mum/brother/best friend have all confirmed it.

So there's no such thing as this four years then it's written off with a dd?
His mum is his brother and best friend? are you in Norfolk?
 
#7
Get one bottle of Gin, 2 Litres of Bitter lemon, a fresh lime & 85 painkillers. Crush the painkillers in a pestle & mortar and gently infuse into a jug and add the Gin & bitter lemon. Pour him lots of glasses & then take a hammer to his head until you see blood.

Any guy that goes awol should be shot. He has done time before & been in the brig = not a great soldier.

Do you really want to be with a guy who has a custodial sentance & shown lack of moral fibre ?
 
#8
The army wont forget about him. Sooner or later he will get pulled over for speeding or involved with the police for something else stupid and his name will come up on their computer. At that time he will be handed back to the army for punishment. IIRC it happened to quite an old guy in one of my old units.

You have 5 options.

a. get him to hand himself in
b. phone the police and bubble him
c. bin him
d. phone the confidential help line (which I'm too lazy to look for)
e. kill him

Option a) is the best, but requires a small degree of courage.

With thanks to theorginalphantom.
 
#9
58_Pattern said:
Do you really want to be with a guy who has a custodial sentance & shown lack of moral fibre ?
Well we are both in our 30s now and I am sure we can both say we have taken paths that we regret in our lives, as I wasn't with him and didn;t know him as a soldier, it's not really been part of my life or our relationship. I know plenty of people who have never been in the army who have shown a considerably greater lack of moral fibre than him in their day to day life.

The past can't be changed now, so no use in holding it against him. Some people might not be cut out for army life and it will take some longer to realise than others. I know I spent 10 years in a career that I hated and then changed to something completely different, and so I can see why it dodn't work out for him, although I agree he could have gone about leaving in a more acceptable way.

Anyway being with him or not is my decision, and my problem. I am more interested in what to do now.
 
#12
Carys
The past cannot be changed but the future certainly can. At present you and your boyfriend are waiting for the other shoe to drop. All it takes is a driving offence or a stop-search p-check and your man could be apprehended. Better to man up and contact the Army first. Army Confidential Support Line on 0800 731 4880.

Once that is done, then you can go firm on your future life and he can come down from behind the water tank...
 
#14
That's the attitude. Don't forget to split the bounty for turning him in poppet...
 
#15
Cuddles said:
Carys
The past cannot be changed but the future certainly can. At present you and your boyfriend are waiting for the other shoe to drop. All it takes is a driving offence or a stop-search p-check and your man could be apprehended. Better to man up and contact the Army first. Army Confidential Support Line on 0800 731 4880.

Once that is done, then you can go firm on your future life and he can come down from behind the water tank...
Quite simply the best option. He can't run away from it forever, at some point he will have to face up to it. Get the phone call made and sort it once and for all, there really is no other way out other than to take the consequences on the chin.
 

Bowmore_Assassin

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#16
Carys, very noble of you to do all this research on his behalf.

I have to admit I do not have any sympathy for him but he needs to do the right thing - himself. Support him by all means but he needs to show some balls and a bit of (previously lacking) moral fibre and some honour.

Get him to man up and ring the Army Confidential Line himself or better still go to the nearest Regular Army Unit and hand himself in to the Guardroom, take whats coming like a man should and then get on with his life.
 
#17
There's something not right here! I am not convinced that he was in the Army. It wouldn't be the first time that somebody has managed to bluff their way and convince others that he was a hero!

If he's got any bollox, he'll hand himself in and take the punishment that he deserves for leaving his mates in the lurch!

Mates who will have had to do extra duties to cover for this selfish self centered whinging individual. Mates who might have been killed while doing the extra duties his unit would have had to cover in his absence.

If he can't do that now, he doesn't deserve to be with someone like you.

In that case, hand him in!

I personally, wouldn't urinate on him if he burst into flame!
 
#18
He was definitely in the army. There are photos, and his parents were at his passing out and he toured Iraq and NI.

It's hardly noble as I am doing the research for myself really, as I'd rather know what to expect than to find he's suddenly taken off somewhere and put in jail leaving me holding the proverbial (or literal) baby.

Don't people just leave the army sometimes anyway? Like you leave any other job? In which case I don't see how him not being there could be blamed for someone else's death. I think that's a view too far on a contentious subject TBH.

Thanks for the advice anyway, forewarned is forearmed and all that.
 
#19
There is also the economic realism. If your boyfriend went AWOL without stealing any of the Army's property, then they probably don't want to spend time and effort looking for him. It would be difficult to justify the expense (and everyone has to submit justifications these days) the manhours, paperwork, petrol, etc to go and get him, then spend more money locking him up before eventually throwing hiim back to civvy street, where he is now anyway.

However, I would agree with the previous posters, in that if you both want a clean slate and fresh start, it would be best to 'fess up.

BTW, perhaps he's hung like a donkey, but having read your posts, you seems like an intelligent lady - are you sure you can't do better?
 
#20
ChickVonFlick said:
There is also the economic realism. If your boyfriend went AWOL without stealing any of the Army's property, then they probably don't want to spend time and effort looking for him. It would be difficult to justify the expense (and everyone has to submit justifications these days) the manhours, paperwork, petrol, etc to go and get him, then spend more money locking him up before eventually throwing hiim back to civvy street, where he is now anyway.

However, I would agree with the previous posters, in that if you both want a clean slate and fresh start, it would be best to 'fess up.

BTW, perhaps he's hung like a donkey, but having read your posts, you seems like an intelligent lady - are you sure you can't do better?
Well the thing is, having never had any association with the armed services or any other soldiers, perhaps I find it hard to appreciate the gravity of the situation. To me he has simply left a job without giving or serving the proper notice, which in my world would be a shitty thing to do, but wouldn't warrant quite the level of disgust that you guys seem to have for guys who go AWOL.

This is genuinely my view - it's a little bewildering to me that you can be punished so severely and after such a long time. He hasn't hurt anyone directly or left because he had committed a crime or misconduct. He just went on leave one time and didn't go back. If anything that says to me he wasn't cut out for army life and the discipline of being a soldier and the army would be better off without him?

I can understand more the situation on the frontline if someone turns and runs when he's supposed to be part of a team in a dangerous place. But if you're not on active duty, what's the big deal? That's honestly not meant to insult anyone as I appreciate what you do when you're out in the field is crazy stuff that a lot of people will never understand, but if you want to leave, can't you just leave once you've come home?
 
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