Awesome OTP injury

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by shortfuse, Apr 17, 2008.

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  1. Hats off to the commies, they really are "primero liga" jakies these days, pipping the jocks to the world championship title, despite ugly rumors of steroid abuse among the bearded lady harry ramps of minsk...

    We're really going to have to step up a gear to take back the crown from the Red Horde, so I need to know what's the worst injury suffered by an arrser through bevvy?

    My paltry self induced chemical burns to both legs from falling akip absolutely shiters in a full grit bin of rock salt and lagging my jeans, resulting in blistered inner thighs on both legs pales into insignificance before a casual knifing and then sleeping it off and waking up for brekky none the wiser..

    Make these injuries good, or you wont make the team....
  2. Night before a mates wedding. Imbibed a couple of lager shandies. Attempted to 'fly' by someone pushing the wheelchair at full tilt and me flapping my arms.


    Following morning - one broken hand :(
  3. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Stabbed myself in the groin.

    Was on the piss at home and had an urgent craving for ice in my vodka. Problem was I had none of those little trays for making cubes so I filled a bowl full of water and whacked it in the freezer.

    About an hour later I take it out and dump the now bowl shaped block of ice onto the work-top.

    Now, how to break it into lumps?

    I know, I’ll have at it with a carving knife! Stabbed downwards at the block, knife glances off (predictably, but I was pissed) and slices into my groin, missing the artery, and more importantly my bollocks by about a centimetre.

    Trip to casualty and claret all over the kitchen for that one.