I recently received a Mess Bill from Sodexho Ltd (the very nice people that seem to be running HM Armed Forces these days ) which said: 'Outstanding Mess Bill' for Â£535 (over a prolonged period I might add). I was shocked at the Sodexho accountant's response when I thanked him for being kind enough to inform me that I had done so well, and asked when he would like me to pay. The guy then even had the kindness to say that Sodexho had complemented me on my 'Outstanding' Mess Bills on three previous occassions but then went on to add that I would be charged an additional ?% to cover this period The audacity!! 'How very dare you!' I exclaimed, 'How very dare you first complement me on my success at achieving such a tally, and then charge me more for the pleasure!! You should give me a fri**ing discount or at least Air Miles you cnut!!' Needest to say he didn't see the funny side....especially when I asked if I could pay in installments!