Awesome Mess Bill

Discussion in 'Officers' started by RogueTrooper, Dec 7, 2005.

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  1. I recently received a Mess Bill from Sodexho Ltd (the very nice people that seem to be running HM Armed Forces these days :wink: ) which said:

    'Outstanding Mess Bill' for £535 (over a prolonged period I might add).

    I was shocked at the Sodexho accountant's response when I thanked him for being kind enough to inform me that I had done so well, and asked when he would like me to pay.

    The guy then even had the kindness to say that Sodexho had complemented me on my 'Outstanding' Mess Bills on three previous occassions but then went on to add that I would be charged an additional ?% to cover this period 8O :x :evil: :twisted: :!: :!:

    The audacity!!

    'How very dare you!' I exclaimed, 'How very dare you first complement me on my success at achieving such a tally, and then charge me more for the pleasure!! You should give me a fri**ing discount or at least Air Miles you cnut!!'

    Needest to say he didn't see the funny side....especially when I asked if I could pay in installments! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  2. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    RT, I salute your achievement. I cannot think of any food or service provided by Sodexho that is worth 53.5p.
     
  3. RT - Next time you see the Army Rugby team take the field at Twickers, you should feel proud that you single handedly kitted them out.
    Hope you like rugby!!!!
     
  4. £535 doesn't seem very much to me. In 1984 I received a bill for £332. My salary at the time was about £583 I believe. Admittedly there was a line item for £140 - eighth share in new piano! Happy days, mucky nights...
     
  5. I know this sounds like 'Mine's bigger than yours'...... :? .....but my record as a 2Lt (salary in '91 ? £550 ish?) was £1250 8)
     
  6. If a subaltern's mess bill doesn't at least equal his or her pay, then they are either:
    a. overpaid, or
    b. married (take some extras), or
    c. not trying hard enough (buy several cases of port/fizz and distribute liberally).
    Wimps. Young people today... far better in my day... disgraceful behaviour... be wearing jeans, shooting foxes and wedging the stilton next... (dozes off behind the Times at this point) :roll:
     
  7. fartsac,
    I bow to your superior financial depredation :)
     
  8. I was ensign to the Queens Colour and true to tradition entertained the colour party thereafter.

    Needless to say they took a hell of a lot of enterraining and the final tally was somewhere near

    20 Bottles of Champagne (16 drunk, four didn't make survive being opened with increasingly cavalier sword actions) at 20 quid a shot, 400 quid.

    Three bottles of port at a tenner each, 30 notes.

    There were other sundry expenses involving dry cleaning and a lost bet about being able to uncork a bottle avec sword whilst blind folded ( you suddenly realise how much you value your thumbs at that point).

    However.

    Carrying the Colours on parade - priceless.
     
  9. Well you play your games and we'll stick to tug of war...
     
  10. I think you will also find if you dig deep enough that it is illegal to charge interest on a Mess Bill no matter how late the payment.
     
  11. However I think that we will all find that mess bills are due payable ON RECEIPT...interviews without coffee are freely available for those not meeting that requirement!
     
  12. Sadly many companies who are more adept at running motorway service stations, et al, do not have the greatest grasp of QRs and mil law (even sadder - many recipients of mess bills don't either) and therefore feel they can make money by charging hapless subalterns for forgetting to pay their mess bills. I have spent a fortune on accumulated interest on mess bills - maybe sodexho and granada and aramark are in cahoots with APC Glasgow on the ethics of other peoples' money....
     
  13. My largest mess bill for two weeks in the officers mess at Longmoor an ACF annual camp, was £313.00, needless to say the breadknife did not know it was that much.
     
  14. One night at the Summer Ball cost me £450.00 in bar sales and tickets for guests...Stil, I think Fartsac takes the lead so far
     
  15. That's what your camp advance is for (in addition to subsidising "loans" to impoverished cadets)! Surely one hasn't had a good camp if one has anything left? :lol: