I got to looking at Muppet_in_civvies avatar and my mind began to wander.
Instead of doing damage to my own infant I offerd to babysit for my pal, Lee.... doesn't really matter if I do his son harm as he is Ginger and therefore a disabled non achiever
I started with the eyes and found the best method was to get a teaspoon just behind each eye and gently prize them out... be careful if trying this as they can easily fly out and are a right cnut to get back in..... If there are no teaspoons available, don't flap, I improvised another method incase yoru in the field or have no ready access cutlary.... Simply lock your lips around the eye and suck until it gets loose....... don't suck to hard you'll swallow it and it doesn't half make you gag.
If the infant squeals I found licking its eyeball while perfroming the extraction helped.
Restrained and gagged I then moved the infant to the vice and crimped its head and gave it a quarter turn every ten minutes........ its evident from the screams that this hurts like fcuk so have some fizzy vimto or choccy buttons available.
Thats where I'm at now and am already on my way to having the opportunity to have an avatar like Muppets..
I've had to knock off and give it a rest as I kept getting a woody
Any other suggestions?