Avatar and a broken child


I got to looking at Muppet_in_civvies avatar and my mind began to wander.

Instead of doing damage to my own infant I offerd to babysit for my pal, Lee.... doesn't really matter if I do his son harm as he is Ginger and therefore a disabled non achiever :D

I started with the eyes and found the best method was to get a teaspoon just behind each eye and gently prize them out... be careful if trying this as they can easily fly out and are a right cnut to get back in..... If there are no teaspoons available, don't flap, I improvised another method incase yoru in the field or have no ready access cutlary.... Simply lock your lips around the eye and suck until it gets loose....... don't suck to hard you'll swallow it and it doesn't half make you gag.

If the infant squeals I found licking its eyeball while perfroming the extraction helped.

Restrained and gagged I then moved the infant to the vice and crimped its head and gave it a quarter turn every ten minutes........ its evident from the screams that this hurts like fcuk so have some fizzy vimto or choccy buttons available.

Thats where I'm at now and am already on my way to having the opportunity to have an avatar like Muppets..

I've had to knock off and give it a rest as I kept getting a woody

Any other suggestions?
saw that article on the bbc website earlier concerning agent orange. what an excellent idea

made me think- maybe we could market this as a 'instant mong in-a-can'

could turn whole villages into pointy headed- eye bulged cretins- just like a yank trailer park.

cannon fodder now comes in cans
spank_the_monkey said:
Of course, you could just subject the parents of an yet unborn child to agent orange.
yes but where is the fun in that?
Gee, thanks guys.
I find that making the kids wear policemans helmets from birth, then constanstantly frightening the sh*te out of them ad infinitum, also has the desired effect.
1) have mong positioned on hands and knees.
2) place large unlubricated corn cob at entrance to hoop.
3) using a twenty foot run-up, strike aforementioned corn cob with croquet mallet.
4) yell "FORE"

hope this is of some assistance.

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