Automated American and call centres

Has anyone else suffered this automated phone call where an annoying septic woman tells you "Hi youve won a prize" or something similar, we received 3 of these calls in the early hours of this morning, not only is the voice fcuking annoying theyve added a trumpet fanfare to the beggining of the message. If that wasnt bad enough Ive just had 2 calls from the same person at a call centre, these people are desperate as soon as you answer they start babbling away from their pre written script not allowing you to give a polite "no thanks" and they get rather miffed when you tell them to "Fcuk Off", the latest tactic I have employed is just repeating everything they say I.E
caller "Can I speak to Mr BRL"
BRL "Can I speak to Mr BRL"
caller "yes can I speak to him"
BRL "yes can I speak to him"
caller "this is childish"
BRL "this is childish"
etc etc hours of fun, also another good one is when you receive an apply today for a credit card type letter instead of filling up your bin just stuff the original envelope and all the other shite they sent you (not filled in obviously) into the reply envelope and let them throw it in their bin.

For anyone wanting to stop marketing calls register at this site its free:
im not worried about the post bit as i have the option of binning them and it keep the postman in a job.
phonecalls , i use the answer machine to screen calls for me , they don't usually continue once they hear the answer machine.


War Hero
I've had a spate of calls stating I have won a mobile phone from T Mobile/3/Vodaphone etc from a third party vendor. I spend 20 mins asking about the company, where its based, etc. The I wet their appetite by saying I'm a super dooper heavy user of mobiles - average bill £200 + (in reality only about £25). I ask all the technical questions I can think of about the phones on offer, risk of cancer/radiation posioning etc. As most of these are call from India they have a spot of difficulty answering. I get them so confussed they hang up on me. Maawwhahahahahahahaaa
Consider yourselves lucky. In LA I have to suffer Mexican telemarketers.

Can I help you?


War Hero
i dont know which i dislike more, automated call centers, the call centers in India with very helpful staff who cant understand plain english, or the ones in scotland who talk to you like your dirt
telemarketers.... dont get me started on them
leave the answerphone on and the caller ID too
I phoned my UK mainland bank to activate my Credit Card. I got an Indian gentleman on the other end.
I have been speaking my own form of British English for the last 57 years and I must be onest many/most natural born English speakers have problems with my homegrown dialect. Son of Bombay had no chance. the call was costing me and I used words expresions that would have given a Guardian reader nightmares. Following one perticular outbusrt he gave up and gave me a UK No to phone, ah instant delight, werry nice young English wurgin who instatantly solved my problem.


War Hero
I love it when telemarketers from double glazing companies call me. I always go along with it and explain that, although I am a tenant (I live in the block), I have heard that the owner of the property is thinking of doing some renovations.

I get really excited and get them going as well - it helps when they ask how many windows the property has (I tell them I'm not sure exactly how many there are but it is a really big house). They then normally ask for the contact details of the owner to which I reply:

Elizabeth Windsor,
Buckingham Palace,

They normally hang up at this point for some reason....

Conservatory people are even more fun. When they go into their spiel I get massively over excited and express interest in having the biggest and most expensive model. This normally goes on for about 5 to 10 minutes until they ask for my address.

When I tell them it is a second floor flat they can't actually believe what I've told them. Most ask me to confirm it again, I normally say something along the lines of "Yes, I know it is a second floor flat but I am still very interested in a conservatory, that isn't a problem is it?"

They then hang up but I did manage to get one to swear at me once. Result!

New Posts

Latest Threads