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Australian HR wanker!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by driverRE, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. After 10 years of selfless service, a man realised that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no recommendation and that the Company is not doing anything about it. So he decided to walk up to his Human Resources Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying "My friend, you have not worked here for even one day". The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

    Manager: How many days are there in a year?
    Man: 365 days and sometimes 366.
    Manager: how many hours make up a day?
    Man: 24 hours.
    Manager: How long do you work in a day?
    Man: 8am to 4pm. 8 hours a day.
    Manager: SO, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
    Man: 8 hours a day... 1/3 of the day.
    Manager: That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
    Man: 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
    Manager: Do you come to work on weekends?
    Man: No sir
    Manager: How many weekend days are there in a year?
    Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays... 104 days.
    Manager: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
    Man: 18 days.
    Manager: OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
    Man: 4 days
    Manager: Do you work on New Years day?
    Man: No...
    Manager! : Do you come to work on Anzac Day?
    Man: No...
    Manager: So how many days are left?
    Man: 2 days.
    Manager: And do you come to work on Australia Day?
    Man: No...
    Manager: So how many days are left?
    Man: 1 day, sir!
    Manager: Do you work on Christmas day?
    Man: No sir!
    Manager: So how many days are left?
    Man: None sir!
    Manager: So, what are you claiming?
    Man: I understand, sir. I didn't realise that I was stealing company money all these years!
  2. Only works if you forget 8 hours isn't 24 hours. Must be the Australian bar manager payment conundrum.
  3. you have forgot that in footie season weekends start thursday lunchtime and finish tuesday morning, and god help if you have female staff, they are allowed a minimum of 6 working days a month off for womens problems without a doctors certificate !!