Aussie Tit-Cancer Sex Issues

#1
After braving Crawley Argos at 9am and sorting out the kids pressies for tomorrow, I was on the sofa contemplating a shandy over an old Olivia Newton-John video this afternoon, and it occurred to me that both she and Kylie have had tit cancer. Now, I’m not prejudiced and I’m more than happy to it flick one over the wrist over a uniboober but what if they’ve got a geogenetic predilection to the disease? I mean to say, I know there’s already a few of us bidding for Kylies left’un on Ebay as an ashtray but if all these Aussie lasses are going to start leaving norks about the shop then things could get messy. Thing is, Germaine Greer has never, to the best of my knowledge, left a diseased mammary on the streets of Essex so couldn’t she sort out her slack hairy 70’s fanny and donate one each to Olivia and Kylie? It’s not as if she needs them.

Also, I was concerned that if Kylie does only has the one tit, a soapy tit job could go disastrously wrong for her. Gloop all over the shop. Still, she could always mop it up into the ashtray. In the event, I decided to settle this once and for all and after I’d sellotaped the wife’s left tit to her chest and spaffed like a horse on the other one whilst simultaneously singing, “Xanadu, Xanadooo – woo” I realised that shagging diminutive, black-titted, Colonial warblers is the way forward.

Why must they tempt me so?
 
#6
It is nice of you to offer us the chance to chuck mucky tadpoles up your missus.

Tel me, does she get a say in this or do we do what we like whilst she is tied up? We could get in the spirit of the thread and rip a tit off with a ratpack tin opener if you like.
 

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