Aussie Investing

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by rationpack, Aug 8, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Aussie Investing

    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today
    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.
    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today
    But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminium cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.

    Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

    A recent study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.

    Another study found that Australians drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

    That means that, on average, Australians get about 41 miles to the gallon!

    Makes you proud to be an Australian!
    • Like Like x 4
  2. Fuck off............proud and Australian in the same sentence............fuck off.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. M'Lady doth protest too much, methinks.
  4. We don't have anybody rioting in the streets and kicking our Police ' arse, and our war dead don't come in through the back door. !
  5. Seeing as Lehman shares were delisted well over a year ago you would have in fact broken even
  6. Thats because you breach their "human rights" by locking them up, and then they riot in the detention centres, nice.
    As a non resident you don't get to make comments on the way that we treat our war dead, so in that respect back orf dickhead.
  7. true, darkies are easier targets than policemen, eh?

  8. Have you been in Australia long enough to remember Cronulla in 09?
  9. You silly old dick dick
  10. A funny, clever, original post that reflects well on you. Congratulations, Banker.
  11. but you do have the laziest workforce in the world, who strike and walk off the job when ever the home team are playing or the week starts with a monday, australian police the best money can buy
  12. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    a country with the foresight to allow a monthly sicky - why cant we have rules like that
  13. Ah, that's nothing. We've got guys who can do at least 500 mpg. In fact, we've got girls (*) who can do at least that on Bacardi and Coke!


    (*) That's "sheilas" to you.