Audi - The hate thread.

#81
Don’t get me started on Smart car drivers, the thick cünts.
 
#82
I never knew you had an MX5 ;)
Strictly speaking, I dont.
Mine is being taken apart for restoration & off the road till next summer.
Got to pinch SWMBO's keys these days.:(
I could bore you rigid and tell you all about my JDM Roadster if you like.:p
Which, as you should know, is not really an "Mx5.";)
Tsk tsk.....
 
#84
A good friend is a fleet manager for a FTSE 100 group. He won't have the Audi rep in the building and limits the German options to Mercedes and BMW. First impressions in business are important apparently. Furthermore customer service is fairly poor for business customers as Audi invariably challenge all warranty work.

The poor reputation of Audi drivers is mirrored by the experience of the fleet management community. I am told that prizes for extreme c***ishness is reserved for those who want their own private plates on their company Audis but the apex of c***dom I am advised is the 'big three' of Audi company car, private plate and de-badged (which is a no cost extra) to conceal the power/trim of the vehicle.
 
#87
The cheek of Audi for making the video, everyone knows Audi drivers are the biggest clowns on the road.


A special mention goes to the Corps of Royal Engineers for providing the clowns.
Yep. Because it ain't like the average loggie could even squeeze into an Audi is it? ;-)
 
#89
A good friend is a fleet manager for a FTSE 100 group. He won't have the Audi rep in the building and limits the German options to Mercedes and BMW. First impressions in business are important apparently. Furthermore customer service is fairly poor for business customers as Audi invariably challenge all warranty work.

The poor reputation of Audi drivers is mirrored by the experience of the fleet management community. I am told that prizes for extreme c***ishness is reserved for those who want their own private plates on their company Audis but the apex of c***dom I am advised is the 'big three' of Audi company car, private plate and de-badged (which is a no cost extra) to conceal the power/trim of the vehicle.
I joined a company with a German only car policy. I was given a budget and told German, new or less than a year, no convertibles. I got a Toucan yellow A3 sport sportback (yellow 5 door Audi hatchback). I headed up Bristol team. First trip to HQ in Cambridge and parked up. Posh Audis, Beemers, Mercs in black and silver and grey. I went straight to meeting. Apparantly the company secretary looked out of his window and said "who the fuck has parked in our car park?" (High earning posh company but that was the level of professionalism) 'why' says admin lady, 'that's Ian's car, the new Bristol boss.' "Who the fuck let him get a fucking yellow car? We have a fucking plain colour policy for resale! Who the fuck said he could have that?" '"Get me the fucking authorisation paperwork " 'Oh look at this,' says sweet admin lady, 'here's the paperwork, Ian sent all the details yellow A3, and a colour copy of the dealers details with pictures of a yellow car.' "Who fucking signed it off?? " says company secretary, apparently incandescent with rage and not happy "why, you signed the authorisation." says admin lady smiling sweetly. I hadn't been told about the boring colour policy. My card had been well and truly marked but it was a stepping stone to a great job and I was a local hero at every HQ meeting and i lined up a great job and left after six months... and the admin lady...well....she liked yellow.
 
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#91
Smug poncy bastards to a man. The kind of people of carve wooden mushrooms to sell at festivals, the yoghurt-knitting throbbers.
That's my wifes aunt and uncle you are talking about there. (they have a smart car each)

and it's home made/artisan, cruelty free, non dairy youghurt
 
#92
SWMBO's Audi had a problem with the oil pressure light coming on intermittently. There was plenty of oil in the car, and the light would go out and stay out for several miles when you turned the engine off and re-started. I therefore diagnosed a faulty pressure sensor.

Took it into the dealers who found an oil leak from the oil filter cap (piece of plastic sh!t on the TDI) and replaced the cap which they had cracked at the last service, also replaced a hose the was covered in oil and cleaned out the oil that had collected in the undertray. It had been using a bit of oil but that's normal for an Audi.

What they didn't do was change the frigging £7.95 oil pressure switch. Need I say that a couple of days later the oil pressure light came back on an cost another trip to the smarmy dealers. This time the service manager was very apologetic.

I got a TT as a courtesy car. It was crap and boring. Sports car my arrse.

I hate the cars, I hate the stealers.
 
#93
Many years ago I got to drive an Audi that had been hired for some occasion in JHQ. I can't remember which model but it had 330 bhp hiding under the bonnet. Imagine my frustration at having to crawl along the Autobahn at 100 mph because the fast lane was full of plebs who failed to realise that I had priority. Eventually got it up to about 230 kph (= 140 ish mph), but only for a short period before once again stuck behind boy racers in Golfs and assorted mongs in Mercs and BMWs.
 
#94
Don’t get me started on Smart car drivers, the thick cünts.
I was stuck on Highway 403 in Ontario between Burlington and Hamilton many years ago, and in the midst of the traffic jam, as I'm driving my 351HP stick-shift gas-guzzling pickup, right beside me was a Smart Car, blowing out a plume of blue smoke that would've made a 1960s shitbox jealous by comparison. I couldn't stop giggling like a mong with an ice cream and a red labboon.
 

chimera

LE
Moderator
#95
Ok - this is an Audi thread. But I am amazed that so the REAL devils machine wankers car has not been mentioned....

RANGE ROVER
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#99
They make velocipedes. Case for the prosecution rests.


bike.jpg
 
Ok - this is an Audi thread. But I am amazed that so the REAL devils machine ******* car has not been mentioned....

RANGE ROVER
One of the company directors (of company I currently work for) got one a sprayed it white. He put a private number plate on it which says "reem" or something. He drives it wearing ralf Lauren polo shirts and hunter wellies.

If he manages to read this, then yes P**l, you are a fucking retarded thick wanker up your own arse no-nothing pretentious I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire turbo cock fuck wank chops. You Essex wanna be dickhead!

And breathe.....
 

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