Audi - The hate thread.

#61
I have to be honest and come clean here......

My name is Archibald_gruffnut and I am an Audi driver (and so's my wife). I drive an Audi A5 3.0TDI so lots of NOx to go with it.
I fully accept that I am indeed a cunt. As an Audi driver, frankly I don't care, and you're all in the way, so cunt the fuck off!

I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders now. Thank you.
 
#63
I used to have to blat to and fro to Dublin some years back. Driving my MG ZR that kinda distance was a bit wearing (rock hard suspension setup), so I got myself a car with possibly the longest name ever: Audi A6 3.0 TDi Quattro S Line. Bastard quick, not that economical but a great cruiser. And EVERY time I was on the (Northern Ireland) M1, there was some c0ckhead 3 inches behind me in an A4 1.9 TDi. Every bloody time.
It wanted to mate I expect
 
#64
....My name is Ian525 and .....I.......have ......an ................... Audi
10 year old grey Audi A6 Le Mans V6 2.7TDi estate (Avant in Audi speak). It's my wife's old car. She now has a four year old black Audi Q3. We've had a series of Audis (A2 with sunroof which I should have kept, A3, A4 and a few A6 estates) which have all been solid workhorses which is what we need. The Q3 bobbles along. The A6 is an Audi special edition, it's lowered, 19inch wheels automatic (flappy paddles) and scarily quick. We've both got high mileage jobs and over the years between us we've gone through a range of manufacturers - Renault, SAAB, Volvo, BMW, VW, MINI, Land Rover, Kia, Ford, Skoda, Honda. Cars now seem to be much of a muchness and every time we change we look at what we can - we even toyed with SSang Yong but the Audis are comfy, safe, practical and reliable. (unlike the Renault, SAAB, Volvo, BMW, VW, MINI, Land Rover, Kia, Ford, Skoda) - the Hona was greart but the current designs don't appeal

In mitigation M'Lud, we have a 16 year old VW T4 camper and a 24 year old MK1 MX5 if we need to go out in public
You could put full face helmets on and still go out in the Audi
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
#69
I'd like an Audi much nicer than a BMW trouble is I like the A8 and can't afford it.
I should have worked harder at school, twat!
 
#71
My most traumatic road experience involved an Audi.

I was riding my little 125 to work and found myself behind an AUDI on a suburban single carriageway road.

I was being extra careful because there was an AUDI, extra cautious because of their predictably unpredictable behaviour.

Then, it happened, out of nowhere, beyond my comprehension........

He.....

He.....

He moved to the left and let me overtake him.

I still need counselling.
 
#72
I like this quote from the article:

'The Audi convertible driver can be seen repeatedly breaking in front of the recovery truck. '

Is there a reliability problem?

When I was a tiny tot Jags were the most twattishly driven wagons. Living in North London Volvos have always been suspect. A trip round Stamford Hill or Golders Green shows this is as true today as it was forty years ago.
 
#75
Just came across this thread.
Recently ( over the last 3/4 years) BBR changed hands. They, amongst other vehicles, apply their excellent skills turning Mx5s (especially late Mk3.5 2 ltrs) into 300bhp+projectiles, and of late the new Mk4 NDs.
By all means take a peek at their website.
Anyhow, there I was in the passenger seat last month with a Club pal in his 3 months old ND 2ltr...very nice too, being the top of range SatNav. Full BBR coilovers, uprated brakes, Garret Airsearch ( I think) turbo'd and rolling road certified at 309 BHP....at the rear wheels!

All for a decent 8k-ish on top of the £22.5K ( ex dealer demo).
Suffice to say ( and this guy is an experienced Knockhill "hand"..far better driver than I am) we had some "fun" with an S3 over the famous Duke's Pass from Kilmahog to Aberfoyle. In my view, the best thing about his car is it appears 100% ex showroom...not one clue gives it away...even the BBR tailpipes are hard to distinguish. No BBR badges.And then it happened....two grey haired old guys in a hood down hairdresser's urban shopping trolley (us!) with an Audi S3 glued to the tail. I should add, this 5 also wears semi-track rubber...pretty much superglue.

For those unaware, the Dukes Pass is about 12 to 14 miles of severe twisties, crests, and some decent straights.
The Audi had not a bloody chance in hell when the Mazda dropped it's hammer.. 12 miles of ripping & popping from the rear, accompanied by turbo-blow off whistles & pops from BBR's work under under the bonnet.k
Now an S3 is not to be sniffed at, but the 5 has incredible agility, mechanical grip, and light weight to count on...plus a track day specialist at the wheel.

Eventually we got to Aberfoyle around perhaps 3 bus lengths ahead ( before we hit town) and stopped near the burger van. So did the Audi...at which point he saunters over with hir orange tart and basically asks...WTF have you got there? Mate says " Eh? Just a wee MX5 ..did you have an issue playing keepy uppy or something?
His mug was a study.
We did flip the bonnet...and his eyes pretty much popped. His tart says...Ooooh I'd like one one day.
He said....You canny drive or park your bloody 500 properly. No.
If I'm honest, I was not convinced the S3 pilot had the skills. He was braking way back from corner apexes. Seemed a bit erratic. I think...his car is better than he.
My Sport felt like a feckin 70's Skoda in comparison driving home.
I never knew you had an MX5 ;)
 
#76
I like this quote from the article:

'The Audi convertible driver can be seen repeatedly breaking in front of the recovery truck. '

Is there a reliability problem?

When I was a tiny tot Jags were the most twattishly driven wagons. Living in North London Volvos have always been suspect. A trip round Stamford Hill or Golders Green shows this is as true today as it was forty years ago.
If there's one thing that boils my piss, it's Jaguar owners who refuse to refer to their transport as 'the car'.

It's when they go "I'll take the Jaaaaaaaaag........"

Grrrrrr
 
#80
The cheek of Audi for making the video, everyone knows Audi drivers are the biggest clowns on the road.


A special mention goes to the Corps of Royal Engineers for providing the clowns.
Just watched this again.... should I have chuckled at a German car at speed, at night, in a tunnel, being mobbed by clowns on mopeds...
 

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