Attacked by gypsy dogs

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Barrack Room Lawyer, Nov 21, 2005.

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  1. Saturday afternoon while taking the usual shortcut to the local I find the path blocked by 12 or more caravans, no problem thinks BRL "Ill just scoot aroun d the edge of my romany friends encampment and continue along the public footpath" all went well for the first few feet then they came a pack of stinking yapping gypo dogs, I kept on walking my intended route and they followed barking and yapping, then the fuck3rs started biting and nipping my legs, ripped my jeans and left bite marks, I thought the best course of action was to ignore them and after 20 feet or so they gave up and fuck3d off, Now you might laugh at this little escapade and reading it back it does sound funny but I reported it the the local plod who said someone might/might not follow it up/come round to see you, which is fair enough, it wasnt exactly crime of the century, but what if it wasnt me walking along and it was a young kid/OAP/young mother with kids? We can all moan about immigrants and the such but these people really are the dross of the earth, all they do is ruin peoples right to a quiet life and leave piles of shite and rubbish wherever they go, Im suprised the gypos themselves didnt come out and accuse me of upsetting their dogs or something!
    • Excellent Topic Excellent Topic x 1
  2. Do not stop, do not collect £200 go directly to MO/GP for tetanus and rabies jabs if they drew blood. While we're at it I'd take some poison steak around if I were you mate.
  3. Few weeks ago I was mountain biking it around some moorland and had to go through one of these Pikey camps... exactly the same happened - 4 or 5 dogs were up and after me before I could change gear! Little $hits, nipping at my heels, trying to bite my ankles!
    Couple of kids just looked out the caravan window and laughed! When they left that site, it was a tip...council had to clean up old fridges and all manners of rubbish!

    I've hated them ever since one kid stopped me in a high street with some "lucky heather"...he was about 5 with a dirty face, nostrils full of crusted snot...looked like a Dickensian chimney sweep! He said in a rough accent I could just make out "Want some lucky heather",
    I said "no thanks little man" and he replied "Buy it", shoved the tatty heather at me and gave me a it was a crowded high street I resisted in clipping his earhole and just said "no" the little cnut booted me in the shin and shouted "Wnaker" as he walked off!!! 8O I stood there laughing as he moved off and terrorised someone else...gobsmacked.
  4. There's a race war coming, and I know what side I'm on!
  5. It's comeing is it?
    From what I hear it's arrived, and round one went to the rent'a'cops.

    Said Pikey cnuts have been causeing trouble. The CSM (Contract support manager), showed up, and got a guard who was ex-RLI to help him. They took a pair of black widows and took out a few pikey windscreens.

    Next time they tried something, same guy dropped a few Caltrops on the only access road.

    Problem solved.

    Considering I've had air rifle's fired at me by those pikey *****, and if a disabled child had been on the lawn a day earlier she would have been savaged by a Pikey dog.
  6. While working as a community midwife in south London I once had to visit a new mum on a traveller site. I turned up for the first post-delivery check-up and had to pick my way over a muddy waste ground to her (admittedly imaculate) caravan to meet her and her charming extended family. I completed the check-up, and was walking back over the area of waste ground thinking about how appalling it was that people who were only trying to live their own choice of lifestyle were forced to camp on such sub-standard ground. I was almost becoming indignant on their behalf, when an ominous growl interupted my benevolent thoughts. Approaching from my right was the scruffiest, most vemonous looking mutt I had ever seen. Before I could remember if it was best to cower or run, the thing pounced (it's the only word for it) at me and it's teeth grazed my legs, ripping my tights in the process. I swear to this day the only reason it did so little damage was due to the fact I swung my medical bag round with both hands, whacked it on the muzzle, and sent it yelping off under one of the vans.

    All I can say is, thank goodness for those old-fashioned, rigid, square-shaped bags!
    I never again complained about the weight of the kit I had to carry. :lol:
  7. If your legal situation permits, carry pepper gas (oleoresin capsicum). Dogs really don't like it. It's more effective than tear gas.
  8. This is what god invented 12 gauges for
  9. The Pikeys, their dogs or other country side vermin?
  10. For the revolution I suggest the following kit list.

    1 Stealth Transport...

    New shape transit van, got to be white or silver complete with stereo from max power, signwriting which must include any of the following words : uPVC, fascias, soffits, barge boards, full written quote, 15year guarantee. Any phone numbers must either be mobile or freephone numbers. Must have B&Q's whole stock of ladders strapped precariously to roof all the time.

    2. Clothing

    dirty jeans, brown or black dress shoes suitably dulled down to a matt finish (holes optional) Lumberjack shirt or 70's cardigan

    3. Personal

    Must have at least 3 days growth, hair should be dyed black or ginger and be liberally applied in oil (any variety) must have fake irish accent , special words such as "mush" for friend "styoopid proice madam" "we got a little bit left from the last job" "genuine makita sir genuine,good gear can't beat it" should all trip off the tongue with ease.

    Equipped with the above sound advice gathered from a recce of our local Pikeys you should be able to infiltrate their encampment with ease, all thats needed then is a racke of det cord some thermite and some anfo for good measure!

    Happy Hunting!!!
  11. My most funny Pikey story was when one of the smelly Cnuts threatened me with a Racial harrsment law suit.

    Why was this funny? Becuase he was white with a irish accent, jsutl ike everyone of the TGB's.
  12. Me and a friend went out for a Tab last Sunday and discovered that a couple of battered caravans and smashed up cars had appeared almost blocking a public footpath....

    I landscape was now one of smashed up bikes, litter, pulled down fences and lines of old cloths drying on fences.....

    This got me thinking.... arn't these people surpose to be the salt of the earth? lovers of the countryside...... roming around gods great land taking in the wonders that we never see? WHAT A BUNCH OF T@SSERS!

    We were also confronted by the rabid dog situation... My friend had been bitten before so he was nervous, I employed the Jonny Wilkinson method and launched the ankle biter with my boot!!!!!
  13. Pikeys are better protected from the attentions of the law than we are. It is easier to get into the Queen's bedroom than onto a diddicoi campsite. Any growly dog on common land needs to listen to "Drop kick me Jesus, through the goalposts of life"
  14. can I get an amen!
  15. These fuck3rs are the Irish "tinker" variety who seem to have flooded in from the emerald isle since it became part of the EU, when I was a kid you had good old english romany gypsies, bloody Tony Blair, him and his mob have even ruined the gypsies in this country!