At what point to beat the billyboy?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by boney_m, Jul 4, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. This has probably been done, but what hasnt!!

    Several years ago i spent some time in Brunei - nice tour for a few months then you are gagging for the excesses of western life!!!

    We used to go down to Miri in Sarrawak as the nearest place for some civilisation and booze. There was a pub call the Ranch, which used to be a haunt for expat thai whores and Malaysian lady boys pretending to be expat Thai whores.

    Anyhow, one night one of the REME guys, we'll call him Doc as it t'was his name, bagged off with what he thought was an expat Thai. He couldnt see the obvious for the amount of chemically brewed anchor lager in his veins and spent about 2 hours necking with, what actually was, a skinny breasted Malyasian lady boy.

    Night goes on and he ends up going outside to receive the blow job he's agreed a price for, and this is where Doc's account takes over "Well, she'd been sucking on it for a while, and i was almost on the vinegar stroke - when she takes it out of her mouth and asks if i realise that shes actually a man"!!! His major problem with this is that he was almost there, and as he'd had 3/4 of a blow job off a bloke he might as well have finished. He zipped up his chinos and came back to the pub for a pint.

    Had it been me, i'd have reached for the nearest piece of sharp bamboo and cut it the cnut it has always wanted, but where does your lady boy tollerence lie??? If you ever went on a long range patrol course and got sucked off through the fence it doesnt count, you didnt have ample view of their adams apples!!
     
  2. Divine oral sex?
     
  3. This is one of my standard 'Do I like you?' personality tests.

    The correct answer, in my book, is you let them finish up and then beat your man-snot back out of them with the nearest piece of garden furniture.

    The other questions it, would you eat a nicey prepared human steak, with some steamed vegetables and a sauce of your choosing?

    The correct answer is 'yes'.
     
  4. Edited. Although my typo may have some significance - i'm sure one of the ladyboys had a long beard, a dishdash and marks of a thorny crown. Christ knows how they couldnt tell their knosh wasnt kosher.
     
  5. Why beat him?
    Finish off go back in the bar, grab a mate and DP The fcuker! :p
     
  6. its a blow job no big deal and why the hell would you put your nob through a hole in a fence.
     
  7. I was in Brunei, I think I know "Doc"


    Was he in the Garrison WKSP REME, mid 90's??

    Obviously this sort of activity was unheard of in my time!
     
  8. I thought the Billy Boys hailed from Brigton(Glasgow)or NI._we learn,we learn.
     
  9. I always thought it was a common courtesy to afford the ‘bitch’ in question a chance to redeem her/himself. As in…

    “If you don’t stop that in 5 minutes I’m gonna kick your cnut/bollox in!”

    Enough time to realise the error and extract yourself from the situation with maximum satisfaction.
     
  10. I always thought it was a common courtesy to afford the ‘bitch’ in question a chance to redeem her/himself. As in…

    “If you don’t stop that in 5 minutes I’m gonna kick your cnut/bollox in!”

    Enough time to realise the error and extract yourself from the situation with maximum satisfaction.
     
  11. Get yourselves to Pattaya there's a whole street dedicated to them and after 8 pints of singha if you can spot the difference then your a fcuking good judge of the human race.