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At what level would the human lose the fight?

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
Cape Buffalo. Looks like a big cow. A passage in Capstick's 'Death in the Long Grass' is enlightening. Read the account of the demise of an African fisherman walking home when hit from behind by a psyco-bovine. They must have taken him home in a bucket.

The most lethal creature in Africa as far as human beings are concerned, or so I'm led to believe.
 
I think I've read that the most dangerous animal in Africa is the Cape Buffalo. Perhaps someone with more knowledge can confirm, but the bovine contingent seem to be evil buggers when riled.
I'm pretty sure hippos account for more deaths in Africa than the big game animals combined.
 
Eh. No is the short answer!
I’ve had patients in ITU that tried taking shortcuts through fields that had cows and calves in them. The cows head butted then trampled the person who ended up with punctured lungs and concussions.

Never mess with a moody cow!


Death by cow is not uncommon, they can be frisky bastards. It’s the beef herds or ones with young you’ve got to watch. Millers not so much...
 

Dr Death

War Hero
If I get another call from the HMRC - India Branch I might lose the plot & give up on life.
A poorly spoken Indian woman who has trouble with my name & address is either cut backs or a scam.
 

CRmeansCeilingReached

ADC
Moderator
Remember :D

"in a straight fight, a squirrel could take on a beaver and win. A cat and a squirrel? Now that's very interesting... if the squirrel comes on hard at the beginning..."



"But a fox AND a badger would give a beaver and an otter a sound whupping. Fox and a beaver beats ferret and a squirrel."

 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
This opening question is bordering on......

 

Chef

LE
Dianne Abbot, while she's protecting her grub.

I know the lad's been a bit naughty but he's still her son.

As for the OP's question. Box jellyfish.
 
I'm pretty sure hippos account for more deaths in Africa than the big game animals combined.

Hang about on the banks of the Shire River in Malawi and you might find the real problem. Hippos can be a bloody nuisance especially if you appear to be preventing their line of escape by getting between them and the water or buggering about near a mother and calf. They also react angrily to having the bow of a boat rammed into their snouts and are likely to tip the occupants into the water:

That's when the problems begin. The Nile Crocodile is responsible for many more deaths than any other land mammal in Africa.

When I was there one hospital alone was treating around 20 people a year for injuries sustained by crocs. The rangers estimated there were another 4 to 5 a year at least that are killed and simply disappear.

My most terrifying experience ever whilst doing my job was in Malawi on the River Shire.

To take a short cut to my camp I jumped from a boat at night onto the bank but got stuck in the mud. I could hear a lot of noise in the nearby bush which I assumed was hippos - this was worrying in itself but I was laughing at the foolishness of my predicament. However the boat came back to me and I could tell from the tone of the skipper's voice telling me to get back on board that something was up.

As I was trying to turn, his voice became more insistent and eventually I realized what he was worried about. After nearly being flattened by the vessel's bow I was pulled up over the gunwale from where my pant filling fear was confirmed: 2 fucking big crocs sliding along towards us. Nothing before or since has terrified me in that way.
 
Wiki says about 2x more to crocs than hippos (+- 1,000 vs. +-500) per year.

The problem is so many people hanging around on bank washing or collecting water. They are taken so quickly and pulled under the surface before anyone realises what's happened. The bodies are not found.

Only being stuck in a Radio 4 studio with Diane Abbott has come close to the primeval fear that I experienced at the time.
 
Physically subdue a cow? I doubt it. Cows run wild and free where I live, and in the last year dog walkers have had a right shoeing. A dog was killed, a woman left with life changing injuries and there were several other attacks that didn't end quite so badly. The 'Don't let your dog loose near cows with calves' message doesn't seem to have got through.

I recently had to shampoo our cat with fairy liquid after the daft sod got covered in creosote from a freshly treated fence. Had to be done, as if he'd cleaned himself he would have probably been poisoned (phenols and tar compounds). Cats really don't like water, and get a sort of 'rage strength' on when they are angry/scared. I think if you had one the size of a labarador they would be lethal.
 
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Physically subdue a cow? I doubt it. Cows run wild and free where I live, and in the last year dog walkers have had a right shoeing. A dog was killed, a woman left with life changing injuries and there were several other attacks that didn't end quite so badly. The 'Don't let your dog loose near cows with calves' message doesn't seem to have got through.

I recently had to shampoo our cat with fairy liquid after the daft sod got covered in creosote from a freshly treated fence. Had to be done, as if he'd cleaned himself he would have probably been poisoned (phenols and tar compounds). Cats really don't like water, I think if you had one the size of a labrador they would be lethal.

Is that not called a Leopard?
 
Is that not called a Leopard?
I think you're close, I'd go for Iberian lynx. I saw one in a wildlife park, they are about that size, but with 3 inch canines and effing big sharp claws.
As an aside, a firefighter friend of mine, big strong fella, severely injured by a roe deer which he was attempting to rescue from a town centre river with vertical concrete embankments that had trapped it. Gored in the thigh by it's antler, even though he had hold of it's antlers. Strong.
 
I think you're close, I'd go for Iberian lynx. I saw one in a wildlife park, they are about that size, but with 3 inch canines and effing big sharp claws.
As an aside, a firefighter friend of mine, big strong fella, severely injured by a roe deer which he was attempting to rescue from a town centre river with vertical concrete embankments that had trapped it. Gored in the thigh by it's antler, even though he had hold of it's antlers. Strong.

My Old man tried to rescue a Muntjac that had got trapped in a fence on the edge of his land. I offered to help but he waved me back to my beer. It's only a tiny deer...

About 10 mins later there's a roar of pain followed by shouting and the 'tiny deer' saunters past.
Once I'd downed my drink I went to investigate and found the old man had taken a head butt to the cobblers.
 
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endure

GCM
Honey badgers, wolverines or ladies in comfortable shoes?

Aged 18 or so, I sparred with a young lady my age at judo, then met her in competition, then met her through work a couple of years later. On the mat and in her real life, she just wouldn't give up, a short, skinny, wiry, long-distance hyper-athlete with massive oxygen throughput. Even when the umpire declared "Ippon", a clean throw onto her back by me, she wouldn't stop fighting, snarling, gripping, swearing and squirming, and received a serious rebuke for swearing at him and continuing 'after the bell'. In boxing, for example, not only would she have lost, she would have been disqualified from later events.

Later again, the Int Corps then Thetford met us both on the same arduous rural courses and celebrated her drive and determination, our first lady to pass. Good for her.

Her aggression became her downfall when, as a Detective Sergeant, she was charged with the attempted murder of her errant lover, a seriously savage non-stop incessant mauling beyond and well after her lover's capability to resist. I can imagine she'd not stop. The dawning of what she was doing must have arrived far later than an ordinary mortal's consciousness, but she got her partner to hospital in time and she lived. Attempt murder is not a domestic scuffle, nor put forward lightly, but she pleaded it down and still got 30 months.

I'd fight her again, sober, but the slightest fractional weakness on my part would be my downfall.

BBC News, 20 April 2001 -
"A former police sergeant who admitted throttling a fellow officer who was her girlfriend until she lost consciousness has been jailed for two-and-a-half years. She was acquitted last month of the attempted murder of her lover".
 

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