At least he didn't use Bazooka...badum tish!!

#3
"I know I could have gone to jail for up to 15 years for a firearms offence. My solicitor did a very good job. The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble"

At least he has a sense of humour.
 
#4
Does that work then? Oh and by the way, he's a twat.
Personally I find NOWT works, so I have trained mine to make brews and bring me stuff from the kitchen! If they all work together they can carry a Mars bar now!
 
#5
The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble.'

Well, now I know how to solve that tricky ingrowing toenail problem. Anyone know any hedges I could "find" a pistol under?
 
#7
Just a pity the wart wasn't on the end of his nose!!!
 
#8
Personally I find NOWT works, so I have trained mine to make brews and bring me stuff from the kitchen! If they all work together they can carry a Mars bar now!
Oh come now madam, do you really expect us to believe that you eat mars bars one at a time? A likely tale.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#9
Is it a Doncaster thing?? :shock: What next? A handgrenade in your pants to cure crabs??
Hi, big-boned-bird. Nice that you stopped by for our session. You are half an hour late, but let us not nit-pick? Love the... er... frock. So... so... so... Yes. Moving on.

We are delighted that you have chosen Bazooka Chewing Gum over pies, pasties, chocolate and cake. We are made up, straights we are. But you should be aware...

Chicle, gum from Manilkara chicle, which is a tropical evergreen tree native to Central America. This sounds "natural" however today most gum is made from artificial latex, the same rubber as used in car tires, latex paint, tub caulking and rubber bands. Latex is made from crude oil and natural gas.

You are chewing upon a used condom. Not for the first time one suspects, but in future, could you....

Ah, I see we are out of time? Well, until next week? And could you soap your unspeakable crevasses before then? Thanks. My office windows will only open so far. Laters.
 
#10
Oh come now madam, do you really expect us to believe that you eat mars bars one at a time? A likely tale.
No but if I suck it, they have time to run back for the next one see!!

Dukey...you LOVE it when my folds are cheesy, and I can't help liking these nodders...they're strawberry flavour, so that's one of my 5 a day!
 
#11
"I know I could have gone to jail for up to 15 years for a firearms offence. My solicitor did a very good job. The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble"

At least he has a sense of humour.
I'd piss myself if he gets another one on the other hand
 
#13
Shame it wasn't a genital wart. He could have used the shotgun to remove both the wart and himself from the gene pool at the same time.
 
#16
The telegragh had the line 'he had used beer as an anasthaetic' that would explain much, given the other dside effects of said drug
 
#17
And I thought when I tried to carve a verucca out of my foot with a scalpel when I was 12 was idiotic.
 
#19
from yesterdays apers i think i'm right in saying he now works in B&Q
He would be the one, right enough, to give advice on DIY!!!
 
#20
Only in Doncaster... It was only a few months ago that a prostitute was chasing a dog around a park while trying to shoot it.
Have I missed something? Has Doncaster suddenly been moved to just outside Misrata what with the propensity of weapons in situ and under hedges?

"No worries love we will just clear out your garage with this MLRS I made from a muntions pod some rope 30 packets of wrigleys chewing gum, sticky back plastic and a blue peter badge"
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top