At least he didn't use Bazooka...badum tish!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bigbird67, Jun 15, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. "I know I could have gone to jail for up to 15 years for a firearms offence. My solicitor did a very good job. The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble"

    At least he has a sense of humour.
  2. Personally I find NOWT works, so I have trained mine to make brews and bring me stuff from the kitchen! If they all work together they can carry a Mars bar now!
  3. The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me lot of trouble.'

    Well, now I know how to solve that tricky ingrowing toenail problem. Anyone know any hedges I could "find" a pistol under?
  4. Good job he didn't have penile warts.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. HHH

    HHH LE

    Just a pity the wart wasn't on the end of his nose!!!
  6. Oh come now madam, do you really expect us to believe that you eat mars bars one at a time? A likely tale.
  7. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Hi, big-boned-bird. Nice that you stopped by for our session. You are half an hour late, but let us not nit-pick? Love the... er... frock. So... so... so... Yes. Moving on.

    We are delighted that you have chosen Bazooka Chewing Gum over pies, pasties, chocolate and cake. We are made up, straights we are. But you should be aware...

    Chicle, gum from Manilkara chicle, which is a tropical evergreen tree native to Central America. This sounds "natural" however today most gum is made from artificial latex, the same rubber as used in car tires, latex paint, tub caulking and rubber bands. Latex is made from crude oil and natural gas.

    You are chewing upon a used condom. Not for the first time one suspects, but in future, could you....

    Ah, I see we are out of time? Well, until next week? And could you soap your unspeakable crevasses before then? Thanks. My office windows will only open so far. Laters.
  8. No but if I suck it, they have time to run back for the next one see!! LOVE it when my folds are cheesy, and I can't help liking these nodders...they're strawberry flavour, so that's one of my 5 a day!
  9. I'd piss myself if he gets another one on the other hand
  10. What d'yer reckon, wrap a short length of det cord around the old todger end and hey presto, instant circumcision.
  11. Shame it wasn't a genital wart. He could have used the shotgun to remove both the wart and himself from the gene pool at the same time.
  12. Only in Doncaster... It was only a few months ago that a prostitute was chasing a dog around a park while trying to shoot it.
  13. Is he such a twat? Now unable to work and probably due loads of benefits?