Beng, you have two cars and a mortgage, you must have realised the possibility of a posting. If you want the welfare card then you need to be married. You can go unaccompanied you know so there is no reason for your wife to change jobs.
Suck it up or change careers. Harsh but honest advice from someone who weekly commuted almost all his career.
I'm not normally one to be so blunt but are you ******* stupid or what ? Didn't the uniform, the job, the way all your colleagues get posted around at the drop of a hat give you a few hints that it might happen to you one day ? The Army is quite open about what it expects from soldiers, if you haven't spotted that yet you're a twat.
And frankly, if you gave a shit about the welfare of your family, you'd have the relationship formalised in the eyes of the state. Whether or not you choose to get invisible friends involved is quite another matter. Don't eant to ? That's fine, but choices have consequences so man up and accept them.
Here's another hint that will stand you in good stead, think about possible changes of circumstance before you take out a huge loan or two. Like, ooh I don't know, if you were in a job that involved predictable moves at regular intervals and such a move would give you problems.
I think all of the above just about covers it mate......you should never come on here looking for a way to 'address' such a problem.....sympathy certainly will not be coming!.....what are you going to ask when you get the order to kit-up & ship-out to the 'nasty-climes' that the lads & lasses get routed to nowadays? Sorry buddy, you will have to 'live-in' and visit home at the weekends......don't forget your duvet!!
As someone senior to you the undertone of my advice to you will be the same as others have given and you need to man up but you appear to be a mess of different reasons and excuses as to why you cannot move.
Who leads you to believe that you haven't received this due to dragging of heals? It could be for a variety of reasons - needs of the service being a key one.
Why is getting married unethical? The Army asks you to be married to get SFA and you choose not to! You don't want to get married for a house yet I assume you live with your partner now and your relationship is long term due to financial interdependence yet you won't sign a piece of paper to legitimise this!
However your circumstances lead me to believe that SFA is not the issue - your apparent welfare reasons are nothing more than bad financial planning on your behalf or a girlfriend who just does not want to move. I seriously doubt that if your partner is in a career that is paying your debts that a lump sum from the army is going to cover your debts; if she is then it is likely to be a job she could take up elsewhere.
Her links to the local area are not the army's concern and you should be expected to get posted anyway so she is going to have to accept this. You state that you wish to sort out your finances so they won't impede on your deployability yet a deployment will help more than anything - LSA, Op Allowance, no food costs for you, etc.
Really you need to figure out why you don't want to move. If you can be bothered to ignore your apparent ethical problem with marriage you may find that the savings you make by living in SFA may go someway to negating your partner losing/ changing her job.
If you are unwilling to give in anyway then your only option is to weekly commute with the added expense and strain that may well bring.
Hate to tell you this mate but you joined the wrong job. I am serving in the UK but my wife serves in Germany. I have the kids and family pets here. You basically have to do what the army needs and plan around it. Trust me my wife ain't happy about it but we both think of " the greater good" . The be all of it is you cannot expect the army to cater to your every whim. You have done your time there it is now time to move. You are holding up a posting that MCM Div wants to fill.
Me and my wife have done it for 10 years so you either put up with separation or sign off.....
I have just recieved a assignment order, despite the fact i have asked for an extension in my current location. I am lead to believe that it was due to people dragging the heels that i have recieved this order.
My question is, is there anyway of desputing the order via welfare or chain of command! The reason i am asking is due to welfare reasons! Basically the usual stuff i have my own house with my partner (not wife) with a one year old son, the posting is around 4.5 hours away from my family, she has her own career at this location and ties there. the move to the new posting would seriouslly damage me financially if not this most certainly damage my moral due to the fact im not with my family, and to get there would take me a 9 hour round trip whilst spending a £100 in fuel which isnt financially sound. the option would be to get married which seems to me totally unethical as i dont want to be pushed into marriage for a house. The other half would then have to leave her career and be totally be dependent on my wage, which would be a total strain. we would have to sell both cars which are financed and hope the loan is the amount of how much the cars are worth ( which i doubt )
The reason for the extension in my current location is due to the fact we are managing to scrap by at the moment. I am due a lump sum from the army with in this year and would pay off our loans and put us in a better postion financially to move.
Everyone i have spoken to senior wise has told me to "man up" "get on with it" "other people do it! why cant you?" though these are valid points, it doesnt help the matter! i am making every effort to insure my finances are in a better postion so that it wouldnt impeed on my deployabillity but need a little extra time!