Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by satire62, Nov 21, 2007.

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  1. Everybody has their opinions, and that is really good that we do, it would be a very boring world if we were all the same, but we are not, that is what makes us unique. My son was diagnosed with Aspegers when he was nine, before that time nobody had a clue. He is now 17 and I no longer consider him as having Aspergers because I fought to give him the best that he could have, a fairly good education, a doctor that could help and most of all my love and understanding.

    However, there was a time when he would use his Aspegers as an excuse, made me wild it did, I was so angry with him. I gave him a good clip round the ear and told him to grow up, and make the best of what he had, that he couldn't keep using it as an excuse, and that he should be proud of what he had achieved over the years.

    I have also helped my friend with her son who had ADHD and Tourette's, and he has turned into the most wonderful boy, you would never know he even had these problems. And my son if you saw him in the street or in your home you would never know he had ever been Aspergic, he is now hoping to go into the Army. At present he is in the Army Cadets and really doing very well, but he is like any other 17 year old, he gets nervous of different situations at first, but he just gets on and does them, and if he is not sure he will ask.

    Not every parent cashes in on their childs disability, I admit that some might, but not all. Before my son was diagnosed I didn't even know what ADHD or Aspergers was, but I knew that something wasn't quite right because he had no speech and no social skills for his age. But now he laughs and jokes with me, plays little tricks on me, cheers me up when I'm not feeling well, he's a good lad, and I shouldn't say this, but I have three other boys older than he is, and he puts them to shame, and they don't have any problems, but now I don't consider he has any either.

    I am very proud of what my son has achieved, and I tell him daily, and he is very proud of what he has achieved as well, especially when he says, I can do this, of course I can do this!
  2. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    You're obviously a very proud mother of your son and nobody would deny you that. However, I can't help but feel that you're on some sort of crusade to tell the military world how brilliant you are as a parent and how knowledgeable you are on Asperger's and other associated conditions. I see you're already engaged with somebody else on this topic and you don't appear to be taking too kindly to someone else having a differing opinion to you. Just because you are a parent of someone who has ASD does not suddenly bestow expert authority on you. Be mindful of the forum you are posting on. This is ARRSE and there are all sorts of characters on here - some more forgiving than others - but don't naturally assume that everybody will be suddenly interested in how successful a parent you have been and if you are going to take someone on, don't expect a smooth ride. I'm going to move this post to Health and Fitness where it might find a more natural home.
  3. Aspergers and Autism are medical conditions which can be controlled but never cured, so the attitude that he is/was hiding behind his illness is not only unfair but potentially damaging to him. That you also deny he is currently still ill is worrying to say the least.
    But if he is currently living the same lifestyle as anyone else then well done to him for overcoming his illness.

    But I hate to say it how often do you need to tell us about your sons aspergers, thats three threads so far?
    • Like Like x 1
  4. I have adult ADD and I was also in the US service for about 14 years. ADD was actually helpful in some areas. I would argue ADD folks can handle chaotic situations better than most folks because it's not much different than their everyday lives.

    Military regimen and the idea of mentor/subordinate works well also.

    I try my best not to use ADD as an excuse, however, it is sometimes beyond my control and it's important to me that people know that there is sometimes extraordinary effort to accomplish tasks that most take for granted as routine or unremarkable. If you ask my wife, my biggest problems are simply forgetting to close a door, forgetting a task, or not getting our basement redone in a time to her liking.

    It's important to remember that ADD isn't necessarily a "disability" or a "disorder" but more a trait that can either work for or against you. In children the biggest problem actually stems from people around them and not the "disorder" itself. "Johnny's so smart, if he just applied himself he could do anything" but he's just lazy, or a slacker, or a selfish. It's the titles, stigmas, and negative attitudes towards the person that truly causes problems like depression and low self esteem.

    Very little people know that along with ADD causing you to lose the ability to focus on a subject, the opposite is true as well. People with ADD can "hyperfocus" on a task or subject as well allowing them to block out any and all distractions. It's not something that can be done at will, at least not in my experience. Sometimes this can be watching a tv show, staring out the window, or performing a task like writing, drawing, or the like.

    I don't have much experience with Aspergers other than that I work at a rehab hospital with a pediatric department that specializes in such things for therapy.

    It's good that you tell your son you are proud of him and that you expect him to do what anyone else can do. That's the most important part.
  5. just a few questions here.

    firstly, you say he is like any 17 year old and gets nervous in new situations. how so? it seems to me like you are linking nerves about a particular event and nerves about the situation. like i was nervous to go on my selection course because it was a major test, but all my nerves stemmed from worry about failing, not because i was in a new situation. the two things are very different.

    secondly, you say he is 'no longer suffering' from the condition, and is like anybody else, however, you seem to neglect the reality of the army.
    the purpose of an army is to fight. just because he may be ok in a restaurant or down the pub etc, doesnt mean he is ok in every situation.
    the situations he may experience, even in the cadets dont hold a candle to war. imagine the bullets are whizzing inches over his head, a guy next to you gets hit etc. situations like that have reduced perfectly healthy, tough, proffessional soldiers to little more then broken shells of men. the last thing you want to do, is add a condition that could make the whole experience many times worse.

    your son obviously has done well, and its good you have supported him and he can function as a member of society, but if he were to be unable to cope when the proverbial shit hit the fan, not only is it his life in danger, but the life of those around him.
  6. Actually those with autism, or the milder form of it which is called aspergers, have a tendancy to be less emotionally attached to situations which is why they tend to excel in situations that require logical thinking. I don't have either nor do I know anyone close to me that suffers from them but I've studied both.

    I dont understand why you would post so much about your son's illness on a site like this, especially considering the content of your post, unless you were maybe the son... whichever way, whoever you are, any form of autism is there for life. Nobody recovers from it although many find as they grow older the symptoms gradually become less apparent, whether this is due to a true regression of symptoms or because they learn to deal with them as they grow I'm not sure. Just because there is no cure, however, does not mean there is no hope, there are people with autism that have done some amazing things with their lives, google Temple Grandin for a perfect example - (for anyone who is interested).

    Edited to add - the site may point towards there being a cure but so far the cause of autism hasn't been found let alone a cure, there are however techniques and medications that can be used to moderate symptoms.
  7. I am sure that giving your disabled son a *good clip round the head* did him a lot of good.
    This thread is irrelevant. The Army won't take him. That is it.
  8. As far as I know I don't think Army will allow him in, could try another service though like fire service or police.
  9. Your son, along with everyone else who applies to join HM Forces MUST meet a minimum level on variety of set criteria - education, psychometric, medical fitness, character references etc

    His medical fitness/suitability is compared against the PULHHEEMS Pamphlet 2007.

    If he sufferes from ailments, illnesses or injuries - then the Doctor refers to this pamphlet. There are conditions which are if suffered from, will receive an immediate reply of 'Thanks but NO'.

    All cases are judged on their own indivdual merit, but with your sons previous medical history he falls into the 'Thanks but NO' catergory.

    Service life demands a lot of an individual - physically, mentally and socially - and if it is felt they are not a suitable candidtate then there will be a good reason why.

    I have served 20 yrs in uniform and I too would love to see both my sons' serve in HMF, but due to medical conditions they would not pass the medical criteria either. I know how you feel Satire, but thats just the way it is.