Asparagus Health Warning.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BearFrills, Aug 1, 2009.

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  1. There is a relatively new but very dangerous disease that has been found. Asparagus Syndrome!

    This disease has no known cure. The recipient will deteriorate untill they end up in a total vegetative state.

    Symptoms include: Feeling that you are not alone ie being followed by little green men. Paranoia, being followed by men in black suits with hearing aids. Hacking into the American Defence Site to see if they are real and can you communicate with them. Hiding when tracked down and then getting your mum to defend you in court. Blubbering when they try to extradite you.

    Only known cure is not to eat asparagus.
    Not to be confused with cabbage disease, caught from eating to many cabbages. Leaving the victim in a mong state.
    Brussel sprout disease which leaves you feeling bloated. farting a lot and not having any friends.

    The only known cure is to boil the patient in salted water untill they stop blubbing.
     
  2. Looks like it is fuckwit day after all.
     
  3. Could this be a record for the Hole?
     
  4. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Apart from being a total cunt, the OP obviously can't cook either!
     
  5. I want to eat you, your offspring, and all the people you have ever looked at, in order to erase you from modern consciousness, you dull dull puppy.
     
  6. It's clearly 'Stick Liberation Front' under another name. The resemblance is eerie.
    EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerie.
    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerie!
     
  7. The OP is from Wales though.

    Explains a lot.
     
  8. My step son has Asparagus...oh, how we laugh!!!
     
  9. Rhubarb. Rhubarb,Rhubarb.