Ask Sgt Star...US Army

#1
US ARMY SITE

Click Launch SGT Star for an automated interactive chat.....make sure you have your speakers on for his reply...

killed a few mins of my day...

SGT STAR: Welcome Arrse. How can I help you today?

Arrse: do you blow goats?

SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.
 
#2
Apparently he's the sensitive type....

Chemystery: Do you know my sister?

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:
What do you know
Medical Benefits
Army Family, DEERS Program
more >


Chemystery: Have you fucked her?

SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.
 
#3
HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR:

SGT STAR: Welcome Arrse. How can I help you today?

arrse: do you take it up the shitter?

SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

arrse: so you do?

SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

arrse: does it feel good?

SGT STAR: Incredible, isn't it? Is there anything else I can help you with?
 
#4
SGT STAR: What kind of qualifications are you asking about? Physical, enlistment, home school, MOS, ROTC, OCS, or HPSP?

Here's more:
Height and Weight Standards for Females
ROTC Requirements
Nurse Corps, Eligibility Requirements
more >


Steiner: Brown Wings

SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.
Does anybody know if Petty Officer Star is available on the US Navy site?

:D

SS
 
#5
dragoon: are you a drinker ?

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

How much simpler a question does he need FFS ?
 
#6
Chemystery: Is self abuse allowed?

SGT STAR: Drill Sergeants are professionally trained instructors. While they must yell in order for large groups to hear them, they cannot physically or verbally abuse you. They are there to keep you safe and help you in your transition from civilian to Soldier.


Nice to know you'd get a helping hand.....I'll get my coat...
 
#7
Jack Bauer: do i get to kill people?

SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

Huh thought every wannabe GI would ask that question...
 
#8
Chemystery: Is sex allowed?

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:
Alcohol
Linguist, Benefits
Pets

Surely the sceptics haven't gone down that road.....
 
#9
Jack Bauer: will you let me teabag you, if i promise not to tell anyone

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:

* BCT: Family
* Conscientious Objector
* Unmarried Housing

I could be on here all night....
 
#10
Jack Bauer: can i have sex with female recruits

SGT STAR: That's a question for an Internet dating service, not goarmy. Next question, please!

Jack Bauer: but im sexually repressed and I heard squaddie birds put out to more or less anyone

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:

* Army Family, Veterinarian on Post
* Veterinary corps
* Veterinary Corps, Responsibilities

Ok im done now, im going to have some fun with this guy tonight
 
#11
Higround said:
Jack Bauer: will you let me teabag you, if i promise not to tell anyone

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:

* BCT: Family
* Conscientious Objector
* Unmarried Housing

I could be on here all night....
I know what you mean!
 
#12
Chuff monkey: How do you feel about Dubya's policies and actions regarding TWAT?

SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

Chuff monkey: I meant The War Against Terror, isn't that the acronym that's used?

SGT STAR: In combat, Soldiers work to accomplish the mission. The Army will provide you with time to rest and take care of personal matters.

Here's more:
Conscientious Objector
Army Family, Moving with Children
Drug Use
more >


Chuff monkey: Why won't YOU answer the question?

SGT STAR: After a lot of training by some of the best Soldiers, I know a great deal about the Army and Soldier life. I would be happy to answer your questions about becoming a Soldier.

Chuff monkey: Ok, so do you think TWAT is winnable?

SGT STAR: That's strike two, Private. One more bad word and I'm outta here.

Chuff monkey: Jeez...

SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

Chuff monkey: Eh?!

SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.

Chuff monkey: You are a complete tee dubya ay tee aren't you?

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:
AIT, After BCT
High School Diploma or Equivalent
Scholarships, Psychology
more >


Chuff monkey: You are so thick

SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

Chuff monkey: Do you have any sort of brain or was that removed at bootcamp?

SGT STAR: Every Soldier begins with initial entry training, known as Basic Combat Training. Training is nine weeks long and taught in three phases. The location depends on your MOS. Read this page for a detailed training schedule for BCT. For any additional questions, click "Ask a Question." See the window to the right for schedules and duration. >>

Here's more:
BCT Preparation
Marksmanship training
General Bonuses
more >


Chuff monkey: Where's the bit about frontal lobotomy?

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:
MEPS Location
AIT, After BCT
Base Locations and Quantity
more >


Chuff monkey: Muppet, I didn't ask that....

SGT STAR: Good. What can I answer for you about the army?

Chuff monkey: Are you the best army in the whole wide world?

SGT STAR: The Army is the largest and oldest of all the branches of service. It was established in 1775 and is self-contained, well-equipped and can be deployed anywhere in the world. >>

Chuff monkey: But is it the best?

SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.

Chuff monkey: Hah, you're a crock of shit

SGT STAR: Sorry, Private, you've used up all your chances. Come back when you clean up your mouth.

Chuff monkey: Fuck off bonehead

SGT STAR: Sorry, Private, you've used up all your chances. Come back when you clean up your mouth.
 
#13
ack Bauer: im in the taliban, can i join the army?

SGT STAR: You must contact your local Army Recruiter to get the enlistment process started. Your Recruiter is experienced and can give you many details including when you receive your orders. >>

Here's more:

* Army Family, Register in Deers
* Buddy Program
* Linguist, Benefits

more >


Jack Bauer: so thats a yes then?

SGT STAR: What else can I help you with?

Jack Bauer: thanks, good to know that i can plan to kill all the infidels from the inside

SGT STAR: You're welcome.

Sorry I can't help myself!!!
 
#14
arrse: will i die?

SGT STAR: Unfortunately, some Soldiers do die during combat. The possibility of death exists in every profession. In the event that a Soldier dies, the Army provides compensation for the family.

Here's more:

* Army Family, Life Insurance
* Threat Situation
* I hate the Army
 
#15
SGT STAR: Welcome British Army. How can I help you today?

british army: Can I play with myself nightly?

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

british army: Can I jerk off every night?

SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

british army: so wanking's a no-no, then?

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:

* Army Family, Bank Services
* Paying Taxes
* Alcohol
 
#16
Oh man I had to put this one on here sums it up nicely if you ask me...

Jack Bauer: im a buck tooth going nowhere hick loser

SGT STAR: I think this job may be of interest to you.
 
#17
SGT STAR: Welcome British Army. How can I help you today?

British Army: Do your girls have nice chebs?

SGT STAR: I spend any extra time I have doing PT and rebuilding vintage cars.
WTF???? :lol:
 
#19
SGT STAR: Welcome Arrse. How can I help you today?

ARRSE: Can I spit roast you?

SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

ARRSE: can a friend and I shove our respective organs into your two major orifices?

SGT STAR: Here are some jobs in that category that might be of interest to you.

Information Systems Chief (25Y)

Senior Signal Sergeant (25X)

M1 ABRAMS Tank System Maintainer (63A)

Water Treatment Specialist (92W)
Um...

EDITED to add this jem:
ARRSE: does this mean you have no brain?

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:
Can Females Join
Women in Combat
I hate the Army
 
#20
Im running out of ideas...

bauer: i want to spaff in your wifes face

SGT STAR: I am married, Mrs. STAR is my boss.

bauer: is that a yes?

SGT STAR: What else can I help you with?

bauer: really?

SGT STAR: Incredible, isn't it? Is there anything else I can help you with?

bauer: thank you

SGT STAR: You're welcome.

bauer: goodbye

SGT STAR: Goodbye.
 

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