Ask Sgt Star...US Army

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by tebagagap, Sep 24, 2006.

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  1. US ARMY SITE

    Click Launch SGT Star for an automated interactive chat.....make sure you have your speakers on for his reply...

    killed a few mins of my day...

    SGT STAR: Welcome Arrse. How can I help you today?

    Arrse: do you blow goats?

    SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.
     
  2. Apparently he's the sensitive type....

    Chemystery: Do you know my sister?

    SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

    Here's more:
    What do you know
    Medical Benefits
    Army Family, DEERS Program
    more >


    Chemystery: Have you fucked her?

    SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.
     
  3. HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR:

     
  4. Does anybody know if Petty Officer Star is available on the US Navy site?

    :D

    SS
     
  5. dragoon: are you a drinker ?

    SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

    How much simpler a question does he need FFS ?
     
  6. Chemystery: Is self abuse allowed?

    SGT STAR: Drill Sergeants are professionally trained instructors. While they must yell in order for large groups to hear them, they cannot physically or verbally abuse you. They are there to keep you safe and help you in your transition from civilian to Soldier.


    Nice to know you'd get a helping hand.....I'll get my coat...
     
  7. Jack Bauer: do i get to kill people?

    SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

    Huh thought every wannabe GI would ask that question...
     
  8. Chemystery: Is sex allowed?

    SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

    Here's more:
    Alcohol
    Linguist, Benefits
    Pets

    Surely the sceptics haven't gone down that road.....
     
  9. Jack Bauer: will you let me teabag you, if i promise not to tell anyone

    SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

    Here's more:

    * BCT: Family
    * Conscientious Objector
    * Unmarried Housing

    I could be on here all night....
     
  10. Jack Bauer: can i have sex with female recruits

    SGT STAR: That's a question for an Internet dating service, not goarmy. Next question, please!

    Jack Bauer: but im sexually repressed and I heard squaddie birds put out to more or less anyone

    SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

    Here's more:

    * Army Family, Veterinarian on Post
    * Veterinary corps
    * Veterinary Corps, Responsibilities

    Ok im done now, im going to have some fun with this guy tonight
     
  11. I know what you mean!
     
  12. Chuff monkey: How do you feel about Dubya's policies and actions regarding TWAT?

    SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

    Chuff monkey: I meant The War Against Terror, isn't that the acronym that's used?

    SGT STAR: In combat, Soldiers work to accomplish the mission. The Army will provide you with time to rest and take care of personal matters.

    Here's more:
    Conscientious Objector
    Army Family, Moving with Children
    Drug Use
    more >


    Chuff monkey: Why won't YOU answer the question?

    SGT STAR: After a lot of training by some of the best Soldiers, I know a great deal about the Army and Soldier life. I would be happy to answer your questions about becoming a Soldier.

    Chuff monkey: Ok, so do you think TWAT is winnable?

    SGT STAR: That's strike two, Private. One more bad word and I'm outta here.

    Chuff monkey: Jeez...

    SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

    Chuff monkey: Eh?!

    SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.

    Chuff monkey: You are a complete tee dubya ay tee aren't you?

    SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

    Here's more:
    AIT, After BCT
    High School Diploma or Equivalent
    Scholarships, Psychology
    more >


    Chuff monkey: You are so thick

    SGT STAR: Good question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Please try rewording your question. I understand simple questions best.

    Chuff monkey: Do you have any sort of brain or was that removed at bootcamp?

    SGT STAR: Every Soldier begins with initial entry training, known as Basic Combat Training. Training is nine weeks long and taught in three phases. The location depends on your MOS. Read this page for a detailed training schedule for BCT. For any additional questions, click "Ask a Question." See the window to the right for schedules and duration. >>

    Here's more:
    BCT Preparation
    Marksmanship training
    General Bonuses
    more >


    Chuff monkey: Where's the bit about frontal lobotomy?

    SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

    Here's more:
    MEPS Location
    AIT, After BCT
    Base Locations and Quantity
    more >


    Chuff monkey: Muppet, I didn't ask that....

    SGT STAR: Good. What can I answer for you about the army?

    Chuff monkey: Are you the best army in the whole wide world?

    SGT STAR: The Army is the largest and oldest of all the branches of service. It was established in 1775 and is self-contained, well-equipped and can be deployed anywhere in the world. >>

    Chuff monkey: But is it the best?

    SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.

    Chuff monkey: Hah, you're a crock of shit

    SGT STAR: Sorry, Private, you've used up all your chances. Come back when you clean up your mouth.

    Chuff monkey: Fuck off bonehead

    SGT STAR: Sorry, Private, you've used up all your chances. Come back when you clean up your mouth.
     
  13. ack Bauer: im in the taliban, can i join the army?

    SGT STAR: You must contact your local Army Recruiter to get the enlistment process started. Your Recruiter is experienced and can give you many details including when you receive your orders. >>

    Here's more:

    * Army Family, Register in Deers
    * Buddy Program
    * Linguist, Benefits

    more >


    Jack Bauer: so thats a yes then?

    SGT STAR: What else can I help you with?

    Jack Bauer: thanks, good to know that i can plan to kill all the infidels from the inside

    SGT STAR: You're welcome.

    Sorry I can't help myself!!!
     
  14. arrse: will i die?

    SGT STAR: Unfortunately, some Soldiers do die during combat. The possibility of death exists in every profession. In the event that a Soldier dies, the Army provides compensation for the family.

    Here's more:

    * Army Family, Life Insurance
    * Threat Situation
    * I hate the Army
     
  15. SGT STAR: Welcome British Army. How can I help you today?

    british army: Can I play with myself nightly?

    SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

    british army: Can I jerk off every night?

    SGT STAR: Ok Private, watch your language or I'll have to shut you down.

    british army: so wanking's a no-no, then?

    SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

    Here's more:

    * Army Family, Bank Services
    * Paying Taxes
    * Alcohol