"As Useful As"

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by shiny_arse, Dec 6, 2005.

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  1. Help, I'm having a brain fart and cannot think of any sarcastic quotes that starts with "As useful as", apart from "As useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking competition".

    You all know the sort of quips that we use and love so I procastinate myself in front of the arrse gods and beg your wisdom and advice.
     
  2. ...a chocolate fireguard.

    ...tits on a fish.
     
  3. ...a carry handle on a Chally
     
  4. ...t*ts on a fish.

    ...a chocolate fireguard/teapot.

    ...an ashtray on a motorcycle.
     
  5. - a chocolate tea-pot
    - a penis at a feminist convention
    - a foreskin at a circumcision
     
  6. ...screen doors on a submarine.
     
  7. tits on a bull
     
  8. para in a spelling test
     
  9. A c%ck ring on a eunuch!
     
  10. balo monkey wrote:

    Isn't there a variation "I was sweating like a Para in a spelling test"?
     
  11. dehydrated water..

    waterproof teabag....
     
  12. As useful as shiny_arse in a sarcastic quotes competition
     
  13. .....as useful as a solar powered torch....

    .....as useful as a French border defence against an advancing German Army....

    .....as useful as comb for a headless corpse....
     
  14. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    pork pie at a Jewish wedding
    T1ts on a bull
    handbrake in a canoe
    ( cf earlier Arrse thread on this)
     
  15. ..........an inflatable anchor!

    ..........a waterproof fish!

    ..........powdered water!

    ....Sweating like a wren at a salad counter!

    ...sweating like gary glitter in mothercare