As easy as boiled Asparagus

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by TheIronDuke, Apr 8, 2013.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    It is the Asparagus season and those of you with property on the Costa Brava will know the price in blood and pain those stone terraces have paid to give you your Asparagus Festival. But that was then and this is now.

    The Emperor Augustus was fond of saying "It is as easy as boiled Asparagus".

    But I disagree. Asparagus can go horribly wrong if you are French and much given to adding cheese to everything. Or if you are American and doing a Google to find out what Asparagus is. Or Australian and gnawing on the half cooked tail of an endangered species. Or Welsh and shagging a sheep...


    Right. Get a pan of boiling water. Cut the tails off of your Asparagus. Stick them in a metal sieve and plunge them in the boiling water for 90 seconds. Remove. Rest. Drizzle lightly with melted butter or Ghee. Two sprinklings of crushed sea salt and a decent crack with a black pepper mill.

    If you put mustard or dips anywhere near fresh asparagus you are a ******* child molester and should turn yourself in to the police.

    It is the Asparagus season.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Never had any, nice?
  3. Tip, bend them they'll snap and you'll be left with the tender head. If its loose do this in the shop if its bundled do it at home and make soup from the stalk.
    It is a bit early for asparagus though.
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  4. Just a tad. Btw, they are sublime with Hollandaise sauce.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Far too early. And a good mild melting cheese is essential - not too much, mind. Otherwise, that's not a bad recipe, apart from the timings and ingredients.
  6. Take the woody ends and boil in a little water for half an hour before adding the water to a risotto stock.

    Had a few stalks last night in a risotto with king prawns......... handsome.

    Also go well buttered with a creamy scrambled eggs for brekkies.
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  7. Yes, agreed, Jersey Royals won't be long and it will feel more like spring.
    I hate out of season asparagus from the other side of the world.
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  8. Spargelzeit!
  9. Lovely, but you won't thank yourself next time you go for a slash.
    • Like Like x 2

  10. Aldi?
  11. I've never agreed with boiling them - they soak up too much water which then pisses all over your plate. Either steam them or, my preference, brush with olive oil, sprinkle a bit of salt over them and roast in a very hot oven for a few minutes. Both methods result in a far superior end product.
    • Like Like x 4
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    That is a bit like saying "I hate a blow job from a bird who's political convictions I do not share". It is in short, bollocks.

    Yes, it is a tad early for English Asparagus but I shall be among the foreign towards the end of this month. So the Asparagus season has been moved forward. To now.

    Right now. All right?
    • Like Like x 2
  13. I steam them, lovely.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. I rarely buy foreign asparagus it's just lost so much flavour.
  15. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    At last. The voice of reason. I have had limited success with steaming them because I am crap around boiling water but roasting them with a sprinkling of sea salt, pepper and just a little touch of paprika...